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twixislofe's favorite FMLs
Today, we finished a sit-up test at school. I had been training for the athletic tests, so I was proud of my score. When someone asked what I got and I shared, proud, they responded with, "I bet it helps that your fat bounces you back up." FML
by Useless training / 07/11/2014 at 2:04am / United States (Illinois) / Health
Today, I was interviewing a woman for a job. She told me that she may need days off because of her artistic son. I jokingly replied, "Does he color on the walls or something?" She then stared at me with a weird look on her face. Autistic, her son is autistic. FML
by dammit hearing aid / 07/10/2014 at 6:17pm / United States (Iowa) / Work
Today, my ex told me that she's 3 weeks pregnant with my child. Not only was she on her period when I broke up with her last week, her friend let me know that the positive pregnancy test she showed me was a fake that she'd bought online. FML
by Anonymous / 07/10/2014 at 1:52pm / United States (Washington) / Love
by oh my fucking god / 07/10/2014 at 9:34am / United Kingdom (Derby) / Love
by Jack00412 / 07/08/2014 at 3:55pm / United States (New Jersey) / Animals
by MaddyN / 07/08/2014 at 12:26am / United States (Oregon) / Work
by egged / 07/07/2014 at 9:41pm / Singapore / Health
Today, I called my mother crying, telling her how my husband has apparently been cheating on me for months. To my surprise, she didn't interrupt me or cut me off the whole time. Only when she didn't respond, did I realize she'd hung up a half an hour ago. FML
by ILOVELEDZEPPELIN / 07/06/2014 at 4:27pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous
by iphonerevolution / 07/04/2014 at 8:15pm / South Africa / Kids
by Anonymous / 07/03/2014 at 12:42pm / France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur) / Holidays
by Anonymous / 07/03/2014 at 12:53am / United States (Indiana) / Love
Today, my shoes were rubbing against my heel so much that one heel started to bleed. Not having any plasters, I stuffed some tissue down my shoe. When I walked off the train, a wad of blood-stained tissue fell out the back of my shoe. The guy behind me didn't think it came from my shoe. FML
by Anonymous / 07/02/2014 at 7:20pm / United Kingdom (Harrow) / Health
by unwanted daughter / 07/02/2014 at 11:54am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
Today, my husband and I went to my overbearing mom's 57th birthday party. He opened his gift in front of her and said smugly, "The makeup's for your face, and the prayer book's for the fat rolls." Any hope of family peace is now lost. FML
by bad blood, no shit / 12/02/2011 at 8:35pm / United States (Illinois) / Love