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twixislofe

Offline (the 09/03/2014 at 4:12am) | Search for a member

twixislofe

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  • Town/Country : Morton Grove, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 5 March 1998 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 79
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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twixislofe's page activity

Visits<b>dpxantos</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 1:05pm<b>x_the_lancer_x</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 11:54pm

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twixislofe's favorite FMLs

Today, we finished a sit-up test at school. I had been training for the athletic tests, so I was proud of my score. When someone asked what I got and I shared, proud, they responded with, "I bet it helps that your fat bounces you back up." FML

#21205700
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43983) - you deserved it (4406)

On 07/11/2014 at 2:04am - health - by Useless training - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was interviewing a woman for a job. She told me that she may need days off because of her artistic son. I jokingly replied, "Does he color on the walls or something?" She then stared at me with a weird look on her face. Autistic, her son is autistic. FML

#21205262
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38037) - you deserved it (19695)

On 07/10/2014 at 6:17pm - work - by dammit hearing aid - United States (Iowa)

Today, my ex told me that she's 3 weeks pregnant with my child. Not only was she on her period when I broke up with her last week, her friend let me know that the positive pregnancy test she showed me was a fake that she'd bought online. FML

#21205080
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51457) - you deserved it (5104)

On 07/10/2014 at 1:52pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my fiancée has been saying, "Shit's gone cray-cray" for over a week. I finally snapped. When I was done ranting, she murmured, "Baby, don't be cray-cray". FML

#21204913
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48206) - you deserved it (8519)

On 07/10/2014 at 9:34am - love - by oh my fucking god (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I walked outside to find my 3 year old daughter and her pet fish playing together on the swings. FML

#21203004
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39827) - you deserved it (4858)

On 07/08/2014 at 3:55pm - animals - by Jack00412 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I almost got fired from work because a customer complained that I "threw up gang signs" at him. I was blocking the sun from my eyes. FML

#21202372
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41564) - you deserved it (3004)

On 07/08/2014 at 12:26am - work - by MaddyN - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had this really high fever and my sister decides I'm hot enough to fry an egg on. So I'm lying in bed now, still terribly feverish but smelling of the egg she cracked on my back. FML

#21202148
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37735) - you deserved it (3351)

On 07/07/2014 at 9:41pm - health - by egged - Singapore

Today, I called my mother crying, telling her how my husband has apparently been cheating on me for months. To my surprise, she didn't interrupt me or cut me off the whole time. Only when she didn't respond, did I realize she'd hung up a half an hour ago. FML

#21200725
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49362) - you deserved it (5514)

On 07/06/2014 at 4:27pm - misc - by ILOVELEDZEPPELIN - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my teenage daughter faked a suicide because I bought her a Samsung instead of an iPhone for her birthday. FML

#21198840
339 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55398) - you deserved it (11368)

On 07/04/2014 at 8:15pm - kids - by iphonerevolution - South Africa

Today, I came home from vacation, only to find my neighbours relaxing on my patio, and their kids swimming in my pool. FML

#21197297
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48831) - you deserved it (4149)

On 07/03/2014 at 12:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. After breaking the news to my parents, I heard my dad mutter when I left, "Damn it, I liked her better than him." My mother didn't protest. FML

#21196912
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52990) - you deserved it (12525)

On 07/03/2014 at 12:53am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I opened my window due to the good weather. I was lucky enough to listen to the sounds of someone violently throwing up for over an hour. The window got stuck open. FML

#21196634
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35893) - you deserved it (4052)

On 07/02/2014 at 8:59pm - health - by Anonymous -

Today, my shoes were rubbing against my heel so much that one heel started to bleed. Not having any plasters, I stuffed some tissue down my shoe. When I walked off the train, a wad of blood-stained tissue fell out the back of my shoe. The guy behind me didn't think it came from my shoe. FML

#21196551
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40970) - you deserved it (4970)

On 07/02/2014 at 7:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Harrow)

Today, I overheard my mother talking to her friend, and using me as an example of how it's sometimes best to swallow. FML

#21196146
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46973) - you deserved it (4683)

On 07/02/2014 at 11:54am - intimacy - by unwanted daughter (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my husband and I went to my overbearing mom's 57th birthday party. He opened his gift in front of her and said smugly, "The makeup's for your face, and the prayer book's for the fat rolls." Any hope of family peace is now lost. FML

#18414489
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21721) - you deserved it (3192)

On 12/02/2011 at 8:35pm - love - by bad blood, no shit (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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