Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

twinkiefeets

Search for a member

twinkiefeets
  • Town/Country : NJ
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 27 May 1977 (36 years)
  • Number of visits : 848
  • Number of comments : 534
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

twinkiefeets's last visitors

ultimatebobnessShadowvoidking_of_LADustin0302Federgirljullestrannskinnymini101guru_nanak51

twinkiefeets's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of twinkiefeets's badges

twinkiefeets's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my husband to tell me his wildest fantasy. He told me it was to put on fake antlers and "do it like deer". FML

#20415339
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32309) - you deserved it (7188)

On 12/23/2012 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Kasey Eames - United States (California)

Today, I received my soccer team jacket that I ordered a month ago. Trying to save money, I'd selected the "no name" option to avoid an extra $20 embroidering fee. My jacket now has "NO NAME" spelled out on the side of it, and I was charged the extra $20 dollars after all. FML

#20415162
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36007) - you deserved it (6802)

On 12/23/2012 at 12:01am - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, a guy professed his love for me in front of my friends. The guy is my first cousin. FML

#20414731
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35723) - you deserved it (2932)

On 12/22/2012 at 9:33pm - love - by Brittany (woman) - United States

Today, because my boyfriend drives a 2-seated sports car, I had to awkwardly sit on his brother's lap as we drove to the store. I soon felt a poking sensation through his pants, just a few minutes before we hit a bumpy road. FML

#20414298
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46715) - you deserved it (5943)

On 12/22/2012 at 5:55pm - intimacy - by orgasmicriding (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I dyed my naturally-blonde hair dark brown. Upon seeing me, my boyfriend immediately wanted to have sex, because I now remind him of his favourite porn star. FML

#20413704
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38457) - you deserved it (13132)

On 12/22/2012 at 12:56pm - intimacy - by brunetteshavemorefun (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I walked in on my brother sticking his erect penis through a donut. I doubt I'll ever be able to unsee this. FML

#20113997
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30443) - you deserved it (2480)

On 10/12/2012 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had to clean up after the kid that discovered he could finger paint with his poo. FML

#17720492
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29616) - you deserved it (2649)

On 09/11/2011 at 3:16pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, I spent hours cleaning the kitchen that my slob roommates always neglect. I scrubbed the floor, emptied the fridge, washed all the dishes, etc. When I was done, I was thirsty so I got myself a soda. I opened the can, and it exploded and sprayed everything I had just washed. FML

#11015044
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30129) - you deserved it (4952)

On 06/06/2010 at 5:53pm - misc - by LilyL (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while attempting a DIY pest removal, one of our tenants lit a skunk on fire. FML

#8956566
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16237) - you deserved it (1712)

On 03/09/2010 at 9:07pm - misc - by Al (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was walking around the park with my wife. Out of nowhere, a little girl on a bicycle slammed in to me, knocking me to the ground. As I rolled over, sure that my ankle was broken, her father ran over to me. He screamed, "Watch where you're going, douchebag!" FML

#3107443
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52841) - you deserved it (2007)

On 06/22/2009 at 12:11am - kids - by Al (man) - United States (Nevada)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: