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turtlescott163's FML badges
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Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
turtlescott163's favorite FMLs
Today, I dreamed that Robert Downey Jr. kept flirting with me and asking me out. Each time, I refused him, because I'm taken. When I proudly told my boyfriend, he said, "What the hell? I could've kissed the mouth that kissed the Iron Man!" FML
by Can't Believe It. / 02/03/2014 at 3:11pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
by Anonymous / 01/25/2014 at 7:33pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, I took a nap in my car right after finishing up at work. I was woken up by a hobo sitting in the passenger seat, watching me sleep. Apparently, he'd managed to unlock the door with a wire hanger. FML
by ShelterForTheHomless / 01/13/2014 at 10:31pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I joked with a pregnant girl in a state juvenile correctional facility where I work that eating a lot of candy would damage the unborn baby's teeth. Without batting an eye, she responded that she would simply "eat some toothpaste after the candy." FML
by polluxdc / 01/10/2014 at 3:20am / United States (Oregon) / Kids
by rainastartree / 12/23/2013 at 4:10pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money
by Anonymous / 12/21/2013 at 2:13pm / Sweden / Kids
by ashsaunde / 12/08/2013 at 1:58am / United States (Colorado) / Kids
by :( / 11/17/2013 at 3:27pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
by Anonymous / 10/23/2013 at 12:04pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals
by TiredMum / 10/16/2013 at 9:33am / United States (Washington) / Kids
by msmidnight1965 / 09/22/2013 at 1:22pm / Canada / Kids
Today, I was playing with my phone after midnight, and I kept getting calls from a withheld number. The guy just breathed heavily and wouldn't speak. When the third call came, I asked "who the hell are you?" The call ended, and my dad yelled from outside my door: "ME! Now go to sleep!" FML
by thanks, dad... / 08/30/2013 at 1:24pm / Romania (Maramures) / Kids
by Anonymous / 08/26/2013 at 12:45pm / United States (Michigan) / Money
Today, my 12-year-old son was shot in the foot. After hours of not talking, including to the police, he finally told us that his friend accidentally shot him with his dad's gun, and that he didn't want to say anything because he didn't want to "lose any street cred by snitching." FML
by Anonymous / 08/14/2013 at 12:26am / United States (Texas) / Kids
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, a week after dropping my car off for the third time in a month at the dealership because of…