turtlescott163

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turtlescott163

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 27 November 1998 (17 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 725
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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turtlescott163's page activity

Visits<b>neilmalik</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 4:11pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 4:33pm<b>Biden</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 4:32am<b>edsheeran2</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 8:36pm<b>fancypotato</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 12:01am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 3:18pm<b>ravens4life</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 11:56pm<b>tiptoe55</b> - the 02/11/2014 at 3:02pm<b>SwimmingBassist</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 1:30am<b>boating_guy</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 4:57am<b>greeneyebeauty9</b> - the 02/05/2014 at 2:55pm<b>lexypaige</b> - the 02/03/2014 at 4:09pm<b>every1lovesLinzy</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 10:35pm<b>carecow</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 3:43pm<b>nialls_princess1</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 2:47pm<b>dzhonatan</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 12:39pm<b>katydid91</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 2:06pm<b>euphoriagorillaz</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 3:41am

turtlescott163's FML badges

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50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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turtlescott163's favorite FMLs

Today, I dreamed that Robert Downey Jr. kept flirting with me and asking me out. Each time, I refused him, because I'm taken. When I proudly told my boyfriend, he said, "What the hell? I could've kissed the mouth that kissed the Iron Man!" FML

by Can't Believe It. / 02/03/2014 at 3:11pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I told my friend I would pay him to ask out the ugliest girl he knew. He asked out my girlfriend. FML

by Anonymous / 01/25/2014 at 7:33pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took a nap in my car right after finishing up at work. I was woken up by a hobo sitting in the passenger seat, watching me sleep. Apparently, he'd managed to unlock the door with a wire hanger. FML

by ShelterForTheHomless / 01/13/2014 at 10:31pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I joked with a pregnant girl in a state juvenile correctional facility where I work that eating a lot of candy would damage the unborn baby's teeth. Without batting an eye, she responded that she would simply "eat some toothpaste after the candy." FML

by polluxdc / 01/10/2014 at 3:20am / United States (Oregon) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my husband and I were fighting over money. As we were arguing, our 13 year old daughter stole $250 dollars from my purse. FML

by rainastartree / 12/23/2013 at 4:10pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money

Today, I had to basically ground my own husband, after he tricked our 6-year-old son into getting his tongue stuck to a frozen pole. FML

by Anonymous / 12/21/2013 at 2:13pm / Sweden / Kids

Today, I got to spend all of my time scrubbing poop off the walls and carpet because my 2-year-old decided he wanted to 'paint mama a picture.' FML

by ashsaunde / 12/08/2013 at 1:58am / United States (Colorado) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I got my dad to fill in a questionnaire my teacher handed out on Friday. One question said "I would like to see my son/daughter ______." My dad wrote in the blank: "less often." FML

by :( / 11/17/2013 at 3:27pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, while on a family Disney world vacation, I saw a kid shitting on a public bathroom's floor. It was my kid. He's 10. FML

by Anonymous / 11/17/2013 at 12:33am / Kids

Today, I witnessed my boyfriend taking a dump in the litter box. He said he wanted to know what it felt like for the cat. FML

by Anonymous / 10/23/2013 at 12:04pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals

Today, my five-year-old daughters realized that if one of them rang the doorbell, it would keep me distracted long enough for the other one to steal cookies from the kitchen. FML

by TiredMum / 10/16/2013 at 9:33am / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, my husband refused to let our 7-week-old daughter have a pacifier, because he doesn't want her growing up to be a "whore." FML

Today, I was playing with my phone after midnight, and I kept getting calls from a withheld number. The guy just breathed heavily and wouldn't speak. When the third call came, I asked "who the hell are you?" The call ended, and my dad yelled from outside my door: "ME! Now go to sleep!" FML

by thanks, dad... / 08/30/2013 at 1:24pm / Romania (Maramures) / Kids

Today, someone took my flatscreen TV at my garage sale because some kid snuck a "free" label onto it. FML

by Anonymous / 08/26/2013 at 12:45pm / United States (Michigan) / Money

Today, my 12-year-old son was shot in the foot. After hours of not talking, including to the police, he finally told us that his friend accidentally shot him with his dad's gun, and that he didn't want to say anything because he didn't want to "lose any street cred by snitching." FML

by Anonymous / 08/14/2013 at 12:26am / United States (Texas) / Kids