turtlesarerad14

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Offline (the 12/10/2014 at 8:32am)

turtlesarerad14

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 29 October 1997 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 893
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About turtlesarerad14 : I have a turtle named Turtilina and I love her to death.

turtlesarerad14's page activity

Visits<b>Wane8822</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 5:12pm<b>TyroneLeBron</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 1:41am<b>missmorggan</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 8:40am<b>DragonDude</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 1:04am<b>Kog_Hiro</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 2:16pm<b>DoomSkuller</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 12:55am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 5:36pm<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 8:40am<b>Ilikepie82479</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 1:08am<b>Elgaard</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 2:32am<b>Broadway_Vayne</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 3:20pm<b>XcuzimsotiredX</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 2:05pm<b>aa1717</b> - the 03/22/2014 at 2:54pm<b>angelicdevil</b> - the 03/19/2014 at 4:37am<b>FluffyHat</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 10:19pm<b>FatherofTime87</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 3:14am<b>Booda_Shun</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 3:11am<b>andy594328</b> - the 03/05/2014 at 4:55pm

turtlesarerad14's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of turtlesarerad14's badges

turtlesarerad14's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my son to lunch. After we ate, the waitress came over and told me that my son was the most well-behaved child they had ever had there. His response was to pull his pants down and moon the entire restaurant while smacking his bottom. FML

by BekkyLove15 / 05/18/2014 at 8:12pm / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, it's been a week since I found an egg in the street that had seemingly fallen out of a nest. I'd bought a cage and an expensive incubator lamp to save it. It's thus been a week that I've been trying to save a mouldy old potato. FML

by mac cayne / 05/01/2014 at 11:13pm / France (Alsace) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a coffee shop. As I headed over to stand in line, I tripped over my own feet. I got back up, then tripped up yet again. Everyone was staring, and I was so mortified that I went to leave. I then struggled with the door under their glares before realising it opened the other way. FML

by butterbody / 03/23/2014 at 7:02pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, after finishing an essay at the library, I fell asleep and had a dream about the essay crawling out through my laptop screen and trying to kill me. I woke by the librarian shaking me and telling me to stop screaming. I was mortified. FML

by systematicpanic / 03/20/2014 at 12:48pm / United Kingdom (Leicester) / Work

Today, I left a message for a potential employer. It wasn't until after I'd hung up that I realized I'd given them their own phone number to call me back at. Not getting that job. FML

by kenzamee / 03/04/2014 at 9:39am / United States (Oregon) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I tried to lose my virginity to my boyfriend of a year. We're almost twenty. In the end, we both chickened out and played Pokémon instead. FML

by gottacatchemall / 01/08/2014 at 12:43am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I ran for the first time in ages when I saw my bus coming. My loose shoe went flying into a shop doorway, and I tripped into the gutter. FML

by Anonymous / 12/29/2013 at 10:52pm / United States / Health

Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML

by Anonymous / 12/27/2013 at 5:39pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend told me how jealous he gets when I "hang out" with Dylan. Dylan is the 5-year-old boy whom I babysit every day. My boyfriend wants me to stop, because apparently Dylan cockblocks him. FML

by Anonymous / 10/25/2013 at 8:49pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, I got home from work a little late due to bad traffic. My wife kissed me, then flew into a rage and swore that I had the taste of penis on my lips, accusing me of cheating on her with a guy. Apparently she got this insane "test your man" idea from some Cosmo-type magazine. FML

by Anonymous / 08/30/2013 at 12:14pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I brought my Japanese girlfriend home for dinner with my family for the first time. They all got drunk and made heaps of racist jokes right in front of us. My dad forgot her name and started calling her "Rice Ball" instead. FML

by Thanks everyone / 08/28/2013 at 6:35pm / Australia (Queensland) / Love

Today, at work, two teenage girls caused a huge scene and told me to get lost, after I asked if they needed any help. Their reasoning: they didn't want to be helped by "someone who doesn't have a thigh gap." FML

by Hannahb17 / 08/23/2013 at 6:21pm / United States (Arizona) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend dragged me to the local McDonald's, refusing to drive me home until he ate. When I mentioned how dangerous that part of town is, he stopped and went all Walter White on me in front of everyone, spouting lines like "I AM the danger" and "I'M the one who knocks, babe." FML

by that's methed up, darling / 08/16/2013 at 5:33pm / United Kingdom / Love

Today, the extremely uncooperative client whom I'm trying to defend in court sent me a letter in which he threatened to sue me, because charging him for my services supposedly violates his "constipational rights". FML

by harrington61 / 05/19/2013 at 5:27pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by quietly undressing and sneaking into the bathroom to join him in the shower. He was bent over taking a dump, pushing his turd down the plughole. FML

by anony / 02/27/2013 at 8:49am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous