turtlemansam

Search for a member

Offline (the 05/27/2014 at 6:04am)

turtlemansam

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 28 October 1980 (35 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1842
  • Number of comments : 118
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 23 posted

About turtlemansam : Im Sam.

turtlemansam's page activity

Visits<b>Donut_Prince</b> - the 08/05/2016 at 4:36pm<b>unclesnoop</b> - the 07/27/2016 at 8:43pm<b>FifaSkiller</b> - the 07/17/2016 at 7:50am<b>epicgamer</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 11:06pm<b>tyrspencer</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 9:16pm<b>ospreyman518</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 5:06pm<b>shebewoofle</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 10:29am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 9:21am<b>kamryno</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 7:51pm<b>___Unknown__08</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 12:57am<b>NarutoLove</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 12:22am<b>Envy22</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 7:24pm<b>LittlePengy</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 3:33am<b>kindleh09</b> - the 11/12/2015 at 4:12pm<b>mermaidkeels</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 4:13pm<b>TheCasualHomie</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 4:52pm<b>DJZach101</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 4:39pm<b>Superwalkatural</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 4:06pm

Fucked!<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 3:21pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 1:24am<b>TheCasualHomie</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 10:52pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 12:15pm<b>lucyisbae</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 11:26pm

turtlemansam's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

turtlemansam's favorite FMLs

Today, after a long and tiring day at work, I went to the movies, loaded up on soda, popcorn, and candy. I ended up falling asleep and being woken up two hours later by an usher. FML

by Stormy / 06/18/2011 at 5:49pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I thought it would be funny to jump in the pool while holding my cat. I am currently in the hospital due to the severe cuts on my face and throat. FML

by princev / 06/18/2011 at 6:32am / United States / Health

Today, a little girl pointed to the acne on my face and said to her dad, "Look at how many mosquito bites she has on her face!" FML

by nybaby / 11/29/2010 at 4:17pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I was putting my 2 year old to bed, and I began to sing to her. She reached up, put her finger over my lips, and said, "Shhh, Mommy." FML

by Anonymous / 11/19/2010 at 2:47am / Kids

Today, I went to get a box of cereal and I knocked over a bottle of olive oil. It took me about half an hour to clean up. When I finally finished, I found out the box of cereal was empty. FML

by cerealfail / 11/14/2010 at 3:33pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I was following a makeup tutorial on YouTube. The girl said to apply concealer to any "problem areas" on my face. When I was done, 90% of my face was covered in concealer. FML

by demaris / 10/30/2010 at 7:46pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to listen to my mother flirting on the phone with my dad's new girlfriend's ex-husband. FML

by messyfamily / 09/19/2010 at 3:31am / Australia (Victoria) / Love

Today, I had to listen to my mother flirting on the phone with my dad's new girlfriend's ex-husband. FML

by messyfamily / 09/19/2010 at 3:31am / Australia (Victoria) / Love

Today, my husband and I had sex for the first time because we pledged we wouldn't have sex until we were married. He's terrible. FML

by anonomus / 05/31/2010 at 9:35pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I discovered that my parents rooted through our house looking for junk to sell at a garage sale. They sold all of my books from my bookshelf. When I freaked, out my mom said 'well you never read them'. There was about $300 hidden between the pages of those books. They made $60. FML

by gonebabygone / 08/27/2009 at 2:58am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, my drunk uncle threw my brand new iPhone 3GS into my pool, ruining it completely. When I asked him to pay for the 600 dollar replacement cost, he said he wasn't responsible for his drunken actions. All of my family members are on his side. FML

by Shadyblood / 08/15/2009 at 12:32am / Puerto Rico / Money

Today, I had gone to the store and bought a new wallet. 5 minutes later a security guard asks for my receipt. Turns out I had dropped my receipt. Some guy had picked it up and pretended I had stole his wallet. The guard confiscated my wallet because the guy had "his" receipt to prove it. FML

by Recon / 03/17/2009 at 8:16am / Switzerland (Basel-Stadt) / Money

Today, I forgot to do my French homework, but since it was an online worksheet, I told my teacher my internet wasn't working. I told her with an e-mail. FML

by ihavepinkbackpac / 02/28/2009 at 2:07pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, in class, I was sitting next to the guy that I fancy. Shyly, I write our initials (L and A) into a heart on his hand to see his reaction. He said, "I love Los Angeles too!" FML

by mocass’1 / 10/13/2008 at 4:19am / France / Love