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turtlemansam

Offline (the 05/27/2014 at 6:04am) | Search for a member

turtlemansam

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 28 October 1980 (34 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1622
  • Number of comments : 118
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 23 posted

About turtlemansam : Im Sam.

turtlemansam's page activity

Visits<b>TheCasualHomie</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 4:52pm<b>DJZach101</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 4:39pm<b>Superwalkatural</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 4:06pm<b>ACTIONbl00dROCK</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 11:34am<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 1:05am<b>8Marie7</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 1:03pm<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 11:44pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 6:15am<b>Karls_Marx</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 5:36pm<b>blostrich_</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 12:01pm<b>vicky_lynnnnn</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 1:09pm<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 7:03pm<b>xninix</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 7:07pm<b>Cadillac_kid_15</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 10:47pm<b>shaar</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 12:14am<b>niightmares</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 9:56pm<b>aishah77</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 7:40pm<b>Catsss</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 9:34am

Fucked!<b>TheCasualHomie</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 10:52pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 12:15pm<b>lucyisbae</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 11:26pm

turtlemansam's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

turtlemansam's favorite FMLs

Today, after a long and tiring day at work, I went to the movies, loaded up on soda, popcorn, and candy. I ended up falling asleep and being woken up two hours later by an usher. FML

#16732224
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25451) - you deserved it (7847)

On 06/18/2011 at 5:49pm - misc - by Stormy - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I thought it would be funny to jump in the pool while holding my cat. I am currently in the hospital due to the severe cuts on my face and throat. FML

#16725871
311 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10734) - you deserved it (107160)

On 06/18/2011 at 6:32am - health - by princev - United States

Today, a little girl pointed to the acne on my face and said to her dad, "Look at how many mosquito bites she has on her face!" FML

#14024877
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31881) - you deserved it (3704)

On 11/29/2010 at 4:17pm - kids - by nybaby - United States (New York)

Today, I was putting my 2 year old to bed, and I began to sing to her. She reached up, put her finger over my lips, and said, "Shhh, Mommy." FML

#13896400
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39874) - you deserved it (13205)

On 11/19/2010 at 2:47am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I went to get a box of cereal and I knocked over a bottle of olive oil. It took me about half an hour to clean up. When I finally finished, I found out the box of cereal was empty. FML

#13842142
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23572) - you deserved it (3909)

On 11/14/2010 at 3:33pm - misc - by cerealfail -

Today, I was following a makeup tutorial on YouTube. The girl said to apply concealer to any "problem areas" on my face. When I was done, 90% of my face was covered in concealer. FML

#13653489
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24354) - you deserved it (5413)

On 10/30/2010 at 7:46pm - misc - by demaris (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had to listen to my mother flirting on the phone with my dad's new girlfriend's ex-husband. FML

#13109561
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29101) - you deserved it (2631)

On 09/19/2010 at 3:31am - love - by messyfamily (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had to listen to my mother flirting on the phone with my dad's new girlfriend's ex-husband. FML

#13109561
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29101) - you deserved it (2631)

On 09/19/2010 at 3:31am - love - by messyfamily (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my husband and I had sex for the first time because we pledged we wouldn't have sex until we were married. He's terrible. FML

#10894032
324 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28894) - you deserved it (67061)

On 05/31/2010 at 9:35pm - intimacy - by anonomus - United States (Virginia)

Today, I discovered that my parents rooted through our house looking for junk to sell at a garage sale. They sold all of my books from my bookshelf. When I freaked, out my mom said 'well you never read them'. There was about $300 hidden between the pages of those books. They made $60. FML

#4854155
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48133) - you deserved it (9129)

On 08/27/2009 at 2:58am - misc - by gonebabygone - United States (Arizona)

Today, my drunk uncle threw my brand new iPhone 3GS into my pool, ruining it completely. When I asked him to pay for the 600 dollar replacement cost, he said he wasn't responsible for his drunken actions. All of my family members are on his side. FML

#4539683
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71782) - you deserved it (4197)

On 08/15/2009 at 12:32am - money - by Shadyblood (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I had gone to the store and bought a new wallet. 5 minutes later a security guard asks for my receipt. Turns out I had dropped my receipt. Some guy had picked it up and pretended I had stole his wallet. The guard confiscated my wallet because the guy had "his" receipt to prove it. FML

#409168
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (99692) - you deserved it (8068)

On 03/17/2009 at 8:16am - money - by Recon (man) - Switzerland (Basel-Stadt)

Today, I forgot to do my French homework, but since it was an online worksheet, I told my teacher my internet wasn't working. I told her with an e-mail. FML

#161178
1019 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77262) - you deserved it (774383)

On 02/28/2009 at 2:07pm - misc - by ihavepinkbackpac (woman) - United States (California)

Today, in class, I was sitting next to the guy that I fancy. Shyly, I write our initials (L and A) into a heart on his hand to see his reaction. He said, "I love Los Angeles too!" FML

#6
452 comments

I agree, your life sucks (91984) - you deserved it (41768)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:19am - love - by mocass’1 (woman) - France



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