turtkko

Search for a member

Online

turtkko

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 3 January 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3401
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

turtkko's page activity

Visits<b>Tarlachia</b> - the 11/23/2016 at 11:16am<b>Tripartita</b> - the 11/08/2016 at 3:43pm<b>Aurora94</b> - the 10/17/2016 at 12:43pm<b>bayy1432</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 6:24pm<b>dakatabg</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 9:34pm<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 5:35pm<b>TheGolfGTI</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 3:46pm<b>NylaDobson</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 8:31am<b>winchestinalock</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 11:36pm<b>MARGIE9</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 6:34pm<b>mayleennyc</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 2:03pm<b>anonymous188</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 12:03am<b>JMichael</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 8:54pm<b>ollie179</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 11:52am<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/27/2013 at 12:37am<b>DocBastard</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 5:10pm

turtkko's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of turtkko's badges

turtkko's favorite FMLs

Today, I discovered that my 17-year-old daughter received several weird deposits from Paypal. I checked her phone to discover that she had changed the password for the first time in years. Fearing drugs, I confronted her. She broke down and confessed to selling rare digital Pokemon on eBay. FML

by Kelly / 11/29/2016 at 1:57pm / Kids

Today, my boyfriend heard me confessing my undying love to someone while we were skyping. He's now convinced that I was talking to some other guy and had forgotten to mute my phone. I was talking to my cat. FML

by ripmylife / 10/10/2016 at 1:53pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Love

Today, my roommate observed that if my eyes were turned upside down, they would look the same - and proved it with Photoshop. After a bit of thought, she decided that it's because the bags under my eyes are dark enough to look like eyelids. FML

by eyebags / 10/10/2016 at 9:04am / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, my 10-year-old son introduced me to Tom, his new best friend, and insisted we have him over to dinner. Tom is a slug. FML

by spadesmollusques / 06/06/2016 at 1:13am / France (Alsace) / Kids

Today, I went shopping on my only day off. The only aisle open was self-checkout. I'm a cashier. FML

by ash / 05/18/2016 at 4:00pm / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, my husband, who has been in a coma for 5 weeks, woke up. When I went to visit him, the first thing he did was try and continue the argument we had been having before he crashed the car. FML

by anonymous / 02/25/2016 at 4:55pm / United States / Health

Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time to meet my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Son, I want you to suck upon my nipples of knowledge." FML

by leahrb / 02/24/2016 at 1:55pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was playing Badminton in P.E, and I was paired with a particularly pretty girl, who for some reason kept asking stupid questions that we both knew the answers to. I've only now just realized that she was trying to initiate conversation with me. This is why I have no friends. FML

by oblivious idiot / 02/12/2016 at 2:50am / Love

Today, I was starting to get freaky with my boyfriend when his dad came in with no warning to let the dog into my boyfriend's bedroom. His dad noticed what was going on and covered the dog's eyes instead of just leaving. FML

by Garfield / 01/20/2016 at 11:41pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I finished a 2 hour Skype call with my girlfriend, only to realize I was using mobile data. FML

by tye61 / 01/16/2016 at 7:54am / New Zealand (Wellington) / Money

Today, I finished reading a manga series on a website I go on all the time. As I read the last page I got a huge celebratory message from the website saying I was the first one to read every manga on their site. The website opened in 2011 and has over 30,000 manga. My God, I need a social life. FML

by Lesser spotted female gaming nerd / 01/11/2016 at 9:47pm / United States (Virginia) / Geek

Today, while out hiking with my girlfriend, she thought it would be funny to push me down a small hill. It turned out there was a 16 foot drop at the end of it, and now my leg is in a cast. FML

by sparkus / 12/15/2015 at 10:15am / Health

Today, my girlfriend and I were sending dirty messages to each other. We were getting really into it until she replied to one of my messages with, "Oooooh yeah." I read it in the Kool-Aid man's voice and couldn't stop laughing. Mood killed. FML

by Stuby14 / 11/23/2015 at 9:31am / United States (South Dakota) / Intimacy

Today, at school, I was asked to play a complex piano piece in front of my class, teachers and guests. I nailed it, but what stood out most for everyone was how I apparently looked like I was being possessed while performing. FML

by auto boogie man / 11/19/2015 at 11:44am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I excitedly told my husband that I'm pregnant with our first child. With the most shit-eating grin, he said, "Hi, Pregnant. I'm dad." FML

by Anonymous / 11/17/2015 at 9:13pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids