Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (the 09/20/2015 at 10:49pm) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 936
  • Number of comments : 260
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About tukies : My advice is to never listen to any advice, not even this one.

tukies's page activity

Visits<b>jackipdoc</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 12:57am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 5:30pm<b>MistyKittyx</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 2:44pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 4:14pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 7:35am<b>Mitchellbassists</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 11:31am<b>triplebeerox</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 4:59am<b>BigxXxDeal</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 2:28am<b>bgbwtp</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 1:49am<b>Spyderbane</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 11:34pm<b>Caroline_Grace_</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 10:38pm<b>SwordSlayer99</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 2:55pm<b>Myo</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 12:12pm<b>iPixiee</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 6:54pm<b>quesok</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 4:19pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 10:39pm<b>jcshadow</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 8:25pm<b>Duoceros</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 4:50pm

Fucked!<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 4:09am

tukies's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!


You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of tukies's badges

tukies's favorite FMLs

Today, I made a speech in front of my entire graduating class and their families, despite my fear of public speaking. It seemed to go well and I got a big round of applause at the end. Then I panicked and instead of waving, I lifted my arm straight out in a Hitler salute. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34526) - you deserved it (7084)

On 03/22/2015 at 8:32pm - misc - by oooooops (man) - United States

Today, I saw a cute guy and decided to say hi. As I started to think about things to talk about, one story in particular about a drummer who looked like Jesus stuck out in my mind. I was so nervous that instead of saying hi, I blurted out, "Some people look like Jesus!" and took off. FML

Today, in the middle of a Spanish oral exam, I start to panic. My teacher suggests I say whatever pops into my head. I blurt out, "Heeey Macarena!" FML


I agree, your life sucks (42550) - you deserved it (8601) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/14/2014 at 12:33am - work - by LeChameauTrisomique - France (Centre)

Today, while I was waiting at a red light, a drunk guy limped in front of my car, unzipped, and started pissing on my windshield. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43321) - you deserved it (3464)

On 03/07/2014 at 1:51pm - misc - by Jehovah God (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I learned the worst part about being dared to shave your ass hair: Stubble. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38421) - you deserved it (15863)

On 03/06/2014 at 9:54am - health - by DaggerHole (man) - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I went to a restaurant so I could apply for a job, and we decided to eat there. After we finished, I went to start the car. When we got home, I asked him how much the bill came to. Apparently he didn't pay. I had already given them my completed application. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45535) - you deserved it (7052)

On 03/06/2014 at 12:52am - money - by TheyHaveMyAddress - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was doodling randomly during a meeting at work, and I noticed my drawing was beginning to look a bit like a penis. A coworker was eyeing it so I tried to make it something else by adding... oh good, now it's a penis and balls. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36445) - you deserved it (12816)

On 02/27/2014 at 6:59am - work - by doodler - United States (Texas)

Today, I was babysitting an 8-year-old boy. He was playing with play-doh and made a sculpture that resembled a penis. I tried to cover up and asked if it was an action figure. He looked at me like I was an idiot and said, "It's a DICK." FML


I agree, your life sucks (46049) - you deserved it (5822)

On 02/23/2014 at 5:27pm - kids - by hot sweet.... not (woman) - United Kingdom (Renfrewshire)

Today, I was walking home, when a car heading the other way hit a traffic cone. I must have been an asshole in a previous life, because the universe decided to make sure the cone flew into the side of my head. The bystanders were shocked for all of two seconds before laughing. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44805) - you deserved it (4190)

On 02/22/2014 at 4:02pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, the rash on my thigh started itching again. I felt good after a vigorous scratch, but the relief did not extend to my roommate, who only saw me at my laptop with my hand moving up and down in my pants. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45526) - you deserved it (8022)

On 02/21/2014 at 6:26pm - intimacy - by Sexy Rash (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to the arcade with my dad, and we decided to try out the hurricane simulator, which blasts 60mph air around in an enclosed space. My dad farted halfway through. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46632) - you deserved it (4953)

On 02/20/2014 at 12:45pm - misc - by begging for air - United States (Oregon)

Today, I walked in on my dad singing along to a song on Sesame Street. He tried to divert attention from what I'd just witnessed by angrily grilling me over "just barging in" and not respecting people's privacy. Apparently he forgot that we were in the living room. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38279) - you deserved it (3666)

On 02/16/2014 at 2:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, trying to be a responsible parent, I bought my daughter a pack of condoms in case she ever decided to have sex. She turned them into balloon animals and went back to playing video games. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34064) - you deserved it (51024)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:47am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, in the very middle of the night, my kitten started rubbing against my face. Thinking I saw her face in the darkness, I decided to kiss her before going back to bed. My lips made contact with her butthole. FML


I agree, your life sucks (50275) - you deserved it (18284)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:20am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

C comme Line's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #20
  • Here we are in November! Winter is here, for most of us, it's dark, grey and depressing and if you're the kind of person who watches network news 24/7, you're probably going to need some cheering up.…

Monday 30 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: