tukies

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Offline (the 09/20/2015 at 10:49pm)

tukies

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1302
  • Number of comments : 260
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About tukies : My advice is to never listen to any advice, not even this one.

tukies's page activity

Visits<b>mcronin</b> - the 07/27/2016 at 2:51am<b>bre88</b> - the 07/09/2016 at 1:07pm<b>ThePerry</b> - the 05/06/2016 at 11:55pm<b>wolfy6754</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 2:45pm<b>jackipdoc</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 12:57am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 5:30pm<b>MistyKittyx</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 2:44pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 4:14pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 7:35am<b>Mitchellbassists</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 11:31am<b>triplebeerox</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 4:59am<b>BigxXxDeal</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 2:28am<b>bgbwtp</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 1:49am<b>Spyderbane</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 11:34pm<b>Caroline_Grace_</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 10:38pm<b>SwordSlayer99</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 2:55pm<b>Myo</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 12:12pm<b>iPixiee</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 6:54pm

Fucked!<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 4:09am

tukies's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of tukies's badges

tukies's favorite FMLs

Today, I made a speech in front of my entire graduating class and their families, despite my fear of public speaking. It seemed to go well and I got a big round of applause at the end. Then I panicked and instead of waving, I lifted my arm straight out in a Hitler salute. FML

by oooooops / 03/22/2015 at 8:32pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, it's been a week since I found an egg in the street that had seemingly fallen out of a nest. I'd bought a cage and an expensive incubator lamp to save it. It's thus been a week that I've been trying to save a mouldy old potato. FML

by mac cayne / 05/01/2014 at 11:13pm / France (Alsace) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw a cute guy and decided to say hi. As I started to think about things to talk about, one story in particular about a drummer who looked like Jesus stuck out in my mind. I was so nervous that instead of saying hi, I blurted out, "Some people look like Jesus!" and took off. FML

by wondercat40 / 04/24/2014 at 5:19pm / United States (Indiana) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, in the middle of a Spanish oral exam, I start to panic. My teacher suggests I say whatever pops into my head. I blurt out, "Heeey Macarena!" FML

by LeChameauTrisomique / 03/14/2014 at 12:33am / France (Centre) / Work

Today, while I was waiting at a red light, a drunk guy limped in front of my car, unzipped, and started pissing on my windshield. FML

by Jehovah God / 03/07/2014 at 1:51pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned the worst part about being dared to shave your ass hair: Stubble. FML

by DaggerHole / 03/06/2014 at 9:54am / Australia / Health

Today, my boyfriend and I went to a restaurant so I could apply for a job, and we decided to eat there. After we finished, I went to start the car. When we got home, I asked him how much the bill came to. Apparently he didn't pay. I had already given them my completed application. FML

by TheyHaveMyAddress / 03/06/2014 at 12:52am / United States (Michigan) / Money

Today, I was doodling randomly during a meeting at work, and I noticed my drawing was beginning to look a bit like a penis. A coworker was eyeing it so I tried to make it something else by adding... oh good, now it's a penis and balls. FML

by doodler / 02/27/2014 at 6:59am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I was babysitting an 8-year-old boy. He was playing with play-doh and made a sculpture that resembled a penis. I tried to cover up and asked if it was an action figure. He looked at me like I was an idiot and said, "It's a DICK." FML

by hot sweet.... not / 02/23/2014 at 5:27pm / United Kingdom (Renfrewshire) / Kids

Today, I was walking home, when a car heading the other way hit a traffic cone. I must have been an asshole in a previous life, because the universe decided to make sure the cone flew into the side of my head. The bystanders were shocked for all of two seconds before laughing. FML

by Anonymous / 02/22/2014 at 4:02pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, the rash on my thigh started itching again. I felt good after a vigorous scratch, but the relief did not extend to my roommate, who only saw me at my laptop with my hand moving up and down in my pants. FML

by Sexy Rash / 02/21/2014 at 6:26pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the arcade with my dad, and we decided to try out the hurricane simulator, which blasts 60mph air around in an enclosed space. My dad farted halfway through. FML

by begging for air / 02/20/2014 at 12:45pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my dad singing along to a song on Sesame Street. He tried to divert attention from what I'd just witnessed by angrily grilling me over "just barging in" and not respecting people's privacy. Apparently he forgot that we were in the living room. FML

by Anonymous / 02/16/2014 at 2:21pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, trying to be a responsible parent, I bought my daughter a pack of condoms in case she ever decided to have sex. She turned them into balloon animals and went back to playing video games. FML

by Anonymous / 02/13/2014 at 10:47am / United States (Missouri) / Kids

Today, in the very middle of the night, my kitten started rubbing against my face. Thinking I saw her face in the darkness, I decided to kiss her before going back to bed. My lips made contact with her butthole. FML

by Anonymous / 02/13/2014 at 10:20am / United States (Nevada) / Animals