About ttelracs : My name is Scarlett (Ttelracs backwards) and I am 100% not funny, so I do my best to not try to be but it can be hard to resist sometimes. I apologize in advance. Most of my input on here involves cynical comments, sarcasm, and rejected FML's. I am also very awkard.
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ttelracs's favorite FMLs
Today, I met my boyfriend's family for the first time. We got on the subject of theatre, and his dad brought up "The Book of Mormon", how finally someone was making fun of those "nasty, polygamist, cultist freaks", and if his son ever dated one, he would disown him. I'm Mormon. FML
by kenabrookee / 04/03/2013 at 1:48am / United States (California) / Love
by fuck YOLO / 04/03/2013 at 1:20am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, in my job as an assistant at a music venue, I had to get posters signed by that night's performer. When I walked into the dressing room, I was told, "unless you're sucking my cock then get the fuck out of here" and had the posters slapped out of my hands. It's my job to deal with these pricks. FML
by Anonymous / 04/02/2013 at 9:26pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Work
by SayCheese / 04/02/2013 at 6:52pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by ItsAnanya / 04/02/2013 at 11:34am / India (Delhi) / Love
Today, I had to clean up the urine puddle left by one of the regulars who plays the poker slot machines at the bar where I work. Rather than reserve the machine to go to the bathroom, she literally sits in her own piss to mark her territory. This happens about every second day. FML
by ak_6694 / 04/02/2013 at 9:34am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work
by Anonymous / 04/02/2013 at 6:30am / United States (Texas) / Work
by Anonymous / 04/02/2013 at 3:24am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
by QuinnyZebrass / 04/02/2013 at 12:11am / United States (Arizona) / Work
by madiison09 / 04/01/2013 at 1:46pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by tkrause / 04/01/2013 at 1:17pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
Today, I came home in tears over finding out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. I told my seemingly sympathetic dad everything. His advice was to lure them both to our house with the promise of a three-way, after which he'd "kill the shit" out of them. Real mature, dad. FML
by immaturity all around / 03/31/2013 at 1:55pm / United States / Love
Today, the people fixing my phone called to say that for some reason, my phone's SIM card has wiped all my contacts except for four, and they are doing their best to try and recover the rest. I had to explain to them that I only had four contacts to begin with. The guy laughed. FML
by Mr.no contacts / 03/31/2013 at 3:00am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/31/2013 at 12:14am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to the supermarket to get some Easter gifts for my kids. At the register, I was verbally abused to the point of tears by the cashier, for having way too many items for the 12 items or less lane. I had 13. FML
by Anonymous / 03/30/2013 at 4:38pm / Germany (Bayern) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I've stopped smoking, lost 30 pounds, taken several painful tests, and checked my ovulation… 2Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had… 3Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went…