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tsunchan's favorite FMLs

Today, I was verbally abused by a tourist because neither I nor anyone else in my country can speak "proper English". We're in England - clue's in the name, dipshit. FML

#21009563
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39385) - you deserved it (4020)

On 12/29/2013 at 6:23pm - misc - by Kayak (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my strict Christian mother walked into my room just after I'd finished masturbating. Although dressed, I was still holding the used tissue, which she noticed. Having to think fast to disguise my deed and avoid an entire sermon, I had no option but to blow my nose with the spunky tissue. FML

#21009159
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50711) - you deserved it (26330)

On 12/29/2013 at 7:36am - intimacy - by Jizzyface (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, marks the third week since my sister's guinea pig learned to masturbate. He humps his wheel and makes squeaking noises for five minutes, then rolls over on his side and pants heavily. He does it at least twice a night while I'm trying to sleep. FML

#21008605
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46062) - you deserved it (3640)

On 12/28/2013 at 7:31pm - animals - by Anonomous - United States (Vermont)

Today, I took an extra xanax to help with my anxiety, then went to sleep. I guess it was probably too much, because I woke up a few hours later, freaking out and panicking because I was convinced I was a bee trapped in a human body. FML

#21008430
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41063) - you deserved it (9737)

On 12/28/2013 at 4:19pm - health - by beemove (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was sitting in my bed drinking Yoohoo from a juice box. I decided it would be fun to see how much I could fit in my mouth. As soon as my mouth was full, I sneezed. FML

#5948720
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9148) - you deserved it (37668)

On 10/22/2009 at 8:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was sitting in my bed drinking Yoohoo from a juice box. I decided it would be fun to see how much I could fit in my mouth. As soon as my mouth was full, I sneezed. FML

#5948720
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9148) - you deserved it (37668)

On 10/22/2009 at 8:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was sitting in my bed drinking Yoohoo from a juice box. I decided it would be fun to see how much I could fit in my mouth. As soon as my mouth was full, I sneezed. FML

#5948720
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9148) - you deserved it (37668)

On 10/22/2009 at 8:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was sitting in my bed drinking Yoohoo from a juice box. I decided it would be fun to see how much I could fit in my mouth. As soon as my mouth was full, I sneezed. FML

#5948720
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9148) - you deserved it (37668)

On 10/22/2009 at 8:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was sitting in my bed drinking Yoohoo from a juice box. I decided it would be fun to see how much I could fit in my mouth. As soon as my mouth was full, I sneezed. FML

#5948720
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9148) - you deserved it (37668)

On 10/22/2009 at 8:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was sitting in my bed drinking Yoohoo from a juice box. I decided it would be fun to see how much I could fit in my mouth. As soon as my mouth was full, I sneezed. FML

#5948720
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9148) - you deserved it (37668)

On 10/22/2009 at 8:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I allowed my five-year old daughter to paint my fingernails during a living-room "picnic" we were having. A while later I got called back in to work for an emergency meeting. When I arrived at the meeting I noticed my fingernails were still neon-green. I am a 40-year old man. FML

#2565972
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48243) - you deserved it (15743)

On 06/03/2009 at 1:40pm - kids - by psychortiz (man) - United States (California)

Today, during a never-ending dinner with really boring friends, I faked being tired and told my husband, "Let’s go honey, we have a long way to drive home." He looks at me and says, "Well… we are at home." FML

#238
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15558) - you deserved it (65020)

On 11/07/2008 at 12:47am - misc - by alice5000 - Sent from mobile version



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