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triplebeerox

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triplebeerox
  • Town/Country : Tampa, FL
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 4 August 1986 (27 years)
  • Number of visits : 977
  • Number of comments : 33
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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triplebeerox's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to pretend to give birth in a play. I wanted to make it a realistic as possible but ended up crapping myself on stage by accident. FML

#5774504
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47944) - you deserved it (24209)

On 10/11/2009 at 11:42am - misc - by oxjessiiox (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped out on front of my car. As I slammed on the brakes the man threw a bag of poo at my windscreen and shouted "Praise The Lord!" before carrying on as if nothing had happened. FML

#5724132
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40015) - you deserved it (2867)

On 10/08/2009 at 5:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I open my front door and saw a covered basket with a card from my girlfriend on it. I picked it up and read, "Hope this cheers you up." I uncovered the basket to find a golden labrador puppy. Its eyes were closed and it wasn't breathing. FML

#5541044
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62594) - you deserved it (2488)

On 09/29/2009 at 12:17am - misc - by rainedaddy (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were playing a game where you ask sexual questions and you have to give an honest answer. At one point, I asked my boyfriend what his favorite position is, to which he quickly answered with no hesitation, "Any one where I don't have to see your face or body." FML

#5369665
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22190) - you deserved it (3473)

On 09/20/2009 at 10:42am - intimacy - by uglyallover (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was having sex with my husband. As I was undressing, he said, "Arr, I spy me some booty!" I let it go, I'm used to his embarassing pirate talk. But as he orgasmed, he screamed, "I'VE FOUND THE BURIED TREASURE!" My neighbors heard in the apartment next door and called to let me know. FML

#4361327
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46100) - you deserved it (6086)

On 08/07/2009 at 1:39pm - intimacy - by piratequeen (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was on my girlfriend's computer. When searching on google, her browsing history popped up. The first thing was "Best positions for a small penis." FML

#3691268
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79560) - you deserved it (11985)

On 07/12/2009 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by wtf (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I released some ducks I had hand raised with my sisters at a local lake. They were raised around my huge German Shepherd, which explains why they didn't freak out when two huge dogs came out of no where and killed three of them, in front of my little sisters. FML

Today, I met my paternal grandfather for the first time. I’ve spent the last three months tracking him down. I poured my heart out and told about how much this meant to me. He told me I had a nice rack and asked for a cigarette. FML

#1475511
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79354) - you deserved it (7782)

On 04/29/2009 at 10:11pm - love - by cgold (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was struggling through an exam and the hot girl next to me seemed to be flying through the questions. So I cheated off her. When we finished I asked her to lunch. She said "No, I just rushed through the exam so I can go fuck my boyfriend." I got shutdown and probably failed an exam. FML

#1001341
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8855) - you deserved it (80406)

On 04/15/2009 at 7:30pm - misc - by ananomoose - United States (Vermont)

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

#960425
663 comments

I agree, your life sucks (655338) - you deserved it (48793)

On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was flirting via text with a coworker. Things started getting heated, and I wanted to send her a sexy picture. I asked if she had any suggestions. She said, "Your nuts!" She meant, "YOU'RE nuts." I sent her a photo of my junk. I offended a co-worker with incriminating evidence. FML

#869850
339 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34990) - you deserved it (87234)

On 04/08/2009 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by blizzard_of_77 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I ran to a public bathroom because of explosive diarrhea. In the middle of it, I noticed there was no more toilet paper nor paper towels remaining. The smallest bill in my wallet was a 5. I had to pay 10 dollars to wipe my own butt. FML

#741988
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78098) - you deserved it (13671)

On 04/01/2009 at 4:16am - misc - by highleyj (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had my girlfriend over and we we're watching a movie in my basement. I run upstairs and pop a bag of popcorn. Later I come downstairs to find my 10 year old brother sitting next to my girlfriend saying," My brother always says he wants to screw your brains out, whatever that means". FML

#620278
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23901) - you deserved it (66095)

On 03/26/2009 at 11:42am - kids - by CaoNiMa (man) - China (Beijing)

Today, I met my girlfriend's very religious parents for dinner. Somehow we got to talking about her groin hernias that were repaired as a baby. I never knew she had hernias repaired and said, "But she doesn't have any scars down there." There was a long awkward silence. FML

#618069
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31478) - you deserved it (118394)

On 03/26/2009 at 3:37am - intimacy - by douchetard (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my school handed out the new yearbook. I was so excited to be on the cover page in a group shot with all my friends until I realized that I was having a boner at the time the pic was taken. These books go out to the whole school. Everyone noticed. FML

#537010
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82717) - you deserved it (17951)

On 03/22/2009 at 7:06pm - intimacy - by caughtontape - United States (Pennsylvania)



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