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  • Town/Country : Cranbrook, Canada
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 12 August 1999 (17 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1127
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 76 posted

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trinalporpus's page activity

Visits<b>Damned_Architect</b> - the 09/02/2016 at 6:49am<b>Klima</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 7:00pm<b>Tripartita</b> - the 06/01/2016 at 12:38am<b>Bonngoo</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 9:18am<b>bebared</b> - the 09/11/2015 at 11:48pm<b>apineapple</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 10:15pm<b>Miss_Mandi</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 7:26pm<b>rhysfucker</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 5:19pm<b>shitcreeksurvr</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 6:56pm<b>netdemon</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 7:30pm<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 8:32am<b>andiiibandiii526</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 12:28pm<b>Purrrvana</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 9:51pm<b>liva_doll</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 11:49pm<b>hotel135</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 12:45am<b>lil_lex</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 2:12pm<b>captaininouille</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 4:59pm<b>PeachJoker</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 6:23am

Fucked!<b>apineapple</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 4:15am<b>rhysfucker</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 2:29am

trinalporpus's FML badges


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You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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trinalporpus's favorite FMLs

Today, I was jerking off quietly so my roommates wouldn't hear me. In the middle of it, one of them sent me a screenshot of an error message on a porn site, asking if I was having the same problem. I guess I wasn't being so quiet after all. FML

by Anonymous / 11/24/2015 at 8:17am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend and I were sending dirty messages to each other. We were getting really into it until she replied to one of my messages with, "Oooooh yeah." I read it in the Kool-Aid man's voice and couldn't stop laughing. Mood killed. FML

by Stuby14 / 11/23/2015 at 9:31am / United States (South Dakota) / Intimacy

Today, my gym teacher ranted about how the government should put all the death row inmates in a coliseum and film them fighting. I guess he lied when he said he only drinks at the weekend. FML

by GoldenSteve / 11/05/2015 at 10:31am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I heard a noise outside in the middle of the night, so I went out for a look. I'm also pregnant and can't stop farting. I get 2 steps outside and accidentally let a huge one rip, then, from the shadows I hear "Oh my god!" and then running in the opposite direction. I farted away a prowler. FML

by Gassy / 09/21/2015 at 10:45am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, another idiot was admitted to my hospital with a foreign object up his ass. Yet again, the excuse went along the lines of "I tripped and fell on it." Please, someone tell me how you can accidentally trip anus-first onto the end of a cucumber, which just so happens to have a condom on it. FML

by Idiot says "HIPAA violation" / 06/26/2015 at 9:21pm / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, my pregnant girlfriend and I moved into our first home together, signing a 1-year lease. Less than 12 hours later, we've discovered that the place is infested with cockroaches and we have a mouse. The landlord won't let us out of the contract. FML

by Anonymous / 06/17/2015 at 8:14am / Miscellaneous

Today, my District Manager was impressed by all the appointments in my upcoming calendar. Bubbling with pride, I blurted out "Oh, I just love to have all my slots filled!" The awkward silence was only broken by "That's what she said!" from the next cubicle. FML

by officeditz / 06/03/2015 at 9:59pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, on my second day as a lifeguard, I locked myself out of the pool. My angry guests and I had to wait for 45 minutes for my manager to arrive and unlock the gate. FML

by explosivepeach / 05/29/2015 at 9:34pm / United States (Maryland) / Work

Today, my drunk boyfriend decided to wake me up by fingering me. Let's just say going to the ER to get your tampon dug out isn't fun. FML

by nazirah4shizzle / 05/15/2015 at 3:54pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, a friendly game of Cards Against Humanity somehow ended in a screaming match, my best friend's mother pulling out her tits, and me getting bit in the foot by a dog. FML

by ThatSlappinBass / 04/17/2015 at 10:00pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my brother mentioned my dad's birthday party. I said, "What party?" He said, "Shit, forgot I wasn't supposed to tell you." My own father doesn't want me at his party. FML

by Anon / 04/01/2015 at 2:06am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was fired from job as a personal trainer. Why? Because I was working out with a friend while off-duty. Apparently, working out with a friend on a day off means I am training them under the table. FML

by anonymous / 03/31/2015 at 12:47pm / United States (Colorado) / Work

Today, I went to get a physical, forgetting I'd shaved my pubes the day before and still had bad razor burn. My doctor told me I had "dicken pox" and was prescribing me with shaving cream. FML

by parkoursam / 03/10/2015 at 12:45pm / United States (Illinois) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my daughter got her first period. Nobody was home but my husband. He didn't know what to do, except give her a sponge to put in her underwear. FML

by Anonymous / 02/14/2015 at 7:34pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids

Today, I asked my friend to download Frozen for me, because my mom wanted to play it for family movie night. The movie was shit, but it got even worse halfway through, when it cut to hardcore porn and a text bar saying "umad?" Now I'm grounded, and my "friend" is a legend for his prank. FML

by Anonymous / 01/30/2015 at 4:15pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous