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trinalporpus

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trinalporpus

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Cranbrook, Canada
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 12 August 1999 (16 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 596
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 73 posted

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trinalporpus's page activity

Visits<b>Klima</b> - yesterday at 11:42am<b>apineapple</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 10:15pm<b>Miss_Mandi</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 7:26pm<b>rhysfucker</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 5:19pm<b>shitcreeksurvr</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 6:56pm<b>netdemon</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 7:30pm<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 8:32am<b>andiiibandiii526</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 12:28pm<b>Purrrvana</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 9:51pm<b>liva_doll</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 11:49pm<b>hotel135</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 12:45am<b>lil_lex</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 2:12pm<b>captaininouille</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 4:59pm<b>PeachJoker</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 6:23am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 2:40am<b>PewDiePie_Lover</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 12:15am<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 2:54pm<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/23/2013 at 10:34pm

Fucked!<b>apineapple</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 4:15am<b>rhysfucker</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 2:29am

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trinalporpus's favorite FMLs

Today, another idiot was admitted to my hospital with a foreign object up his ass. Yet again, the excuse went along the lines of "I tripped and fell on it." Please, someone tell me how you can accidentally trip anus-first onto the end of a cucumber, which just so happens to have a condom on it. FML

#21432533
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32017) - you deserved it (2326)

On 06/26/2015 at 9:21pm - work - by Idiot says "HIPAA violation" (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my pregnant girlfriend and I moved into our first home together, signing a 1-year lease. Less than 12 hours later, we've discovered that the place is infested with cockroaches and we have a mouse. The landlord won't let us out of the contract. FML

#21427489
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28018) - you deserved it (4918)

On 06/17/2015 at 8:14am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, my District Manager was impressed by all the appointments in my upcoming calendar. Bubbling with pride, I blurted out "Oh, I just love to have all my slots filled!" The awkward silence was only broken by "That's what she said!" from the next cubicle. FML

#21420435
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24625) - you deserved it (4907)

On 06/03/2015 at 9:59pm - work - by officeditz - United States (Florida)

Today, on my second day as a lifeguard, I locked myself out of the pool. My angry guests and I had to wait for 45 minutes for my manager to arrive and unlock the gate. FML

#21417788
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23899) - you deserved it (5194)

On 05/29/2015 at 9:34pm - work - by explosivepeach - United States (Maryland)

Today, my drunk boyfriend decided to wake me up by fingering me. Let's just say going to the ER to get your tampon dug out isn't fun. FML

#21410572
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35256) - you deserved it (3101)

On 05/15/2015 at 3:54pm - intimacy - by nazirah4shizzle (woman) - United States

Today, a friendly game of Cards Against Humanity somehow ended in a screaming match, my best friend's mother pulling out her tits, and me getting bit in the foot by a dog. FML

Today, my brother mentioned my dad's birthday party. I said, "What party?" He said, "Shit, forgot I wasn't supposed to tell you." My own father doesn't want me at his party. FML

#21385144
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29992) - you deserved it (3341)

On 04/01/2015 at 2:06am - love - by Anon - United States (California)

Today, I was fired from job as a personal trainer. Why? Because I was working out with a friend while off-duty. Apparently, working out with a friend on a day off means I am training them under the table. FML

#21384707
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31399) - you deserved it (2569)

On 03/31/2015 at 12:47pm - work - by anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went to get a physical, forgetting I'd shaved my pubes the day before and still had bad razor burn. My doctor told me I had "dicken pox" and was prescribing me with shaving cream. FML

Today, my daughter got her first period. Nobody was home but my husband. He didn't know what to do, except give her a sponge to put in her underwear. FML

#21356191
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36390) - you deserved it (3465)

On 02/14/2015 at 7:34pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I asked my friend to download Frozen for me, because my mom wanted to play it for family movie night. The movie was shit, but it got even worse halfway through, when it cut to hardcore porn and a text bar saying "umad?" Now I'm grounded, and my "friend" is a legend for his prank. FML

#21346882
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30077) - you deserved it (5217)

On 01/30/2015 at 4:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, at the train station a woman's baggage had gotten stuck in the ticket barriers, so I used my ticket to unlock the barriers for her but told her to wait so I could get through too. She didn't wait. And I got painfully stuck in the barriers whilst I watched my train go by. FML

#21337468
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32363) - you deserved it (3254)

On 01/15/2015 at 6:35am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I found a hornet's nest in the backyard, so I called my brother over to take a look. He said "Hmm, wonder how fast you can run." then hurled a rock at the nest and sprinted back to the house. I wasn't so fast. I now feel like someone's beaten me half to death with a cactus. FML

#21323182
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34656) - you deserved it (3781)

On 12/24/2014 at 9:43am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I took a crap. When I stood up to admire my handiwork and flush, I noticed blood-red everywhere in the toilet. I freaked out like a little girl, thinking I was bleeding out of my ass. Then I noticed the ketchup packets my roommate had slipped under the seat to prank me. FML

#21319149
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31647) - you deserved it (6210)

On 12/17/2014 at 1:47pm - misc - by RIP Turd (peacebeuponit) (man) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, my boyfriend bought me some feminine cleansing wipes for my birthday so I could, "get the hoo-ha spick-and-span." FML

#21309102
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36290) - you deserved it (6297)

On 11/30/2014 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by fishtacos (woman) - United States (California)



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