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treyzthename's favorite FMLs
by confused_cashier / 06/11/2016 at 9:34pm / United States (Virginia) / Work
Today, my 9 year-old daughter had really bad constipation. When I took her to the doctor, he had to 'break it up' with a gloved finger, and then he sent me home with directions on how to administer an enema. I do not recommend trying to give an enema to a kid that doesn't want one. FML
by anon mom / 05/11/2016 at 8:06pm / United States (Virginia) / Health
by unboned / 05/11/2016 at 1:30pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I recently burned both my hands at work so I had to ask my husband for help changing my tampon, but he refused saying it would make him feel sick. This from the man who routinely sticks his tongue in my asshole when we have sex. FML
by anne / 01/07/2016 at 7:00am / Germany / Intimacy
by Mia / 08/20/2014 at 2:07am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
by lentmarz / 08/19/2014 at 7:37pm / United States (Idaho) / Love
Today, my new doctor gave me a breast exam and said everything was healthy, before adding "Well, I think so, anyway. I don't actually work here." As I freaked out, he laughed out loud, said he was just kidding, and that he should prescribe me a chill pill. FML
by humdrummitydrum / 08/19/2014 at 4:46pm / United States / Health
Today, my boyfriend asked me if we were going to become "that stupid couple that sings cheesy songs to each other." I just spent the past 3 months writing the perfect song that I was planning on singing to him tonight. FML
by wabbyfish / 03/13/2014 at 11:36pm / United States (Minnesota) / Love
by Crochocinco85 / 03/13/2014 at 7:59am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I started my first job as a power line technician. My boss's first words to me were, "I have a good feeling about you, kid!" That would've been great if he hadn't said, "Although, the last time I had a good feeling, the guy died." right afterwards. FML
by Anon / 03/12/2014 at 8:11pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
by Anonymous / 03/11/2014 at 11:34pm / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, my sister brought me coffee to my office. It was really nice so I made a status about it on Facebook. My boyfriend texted me soon after, freaking out because I never put anything on Facebook about him and how great he is. I'm basically dating a 14-year-old girl. FML
by Anonymous / 03/11/2014 at 6:27pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
by ashamed father / 03/09/2014 at 6:32pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by scaredypants123 / 03/07/2014 at 10:41am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I achieved a personal goal by completing a half-marathon for charity, despite being overweight and unfit before training. When I finished I cried, not because I was proud of myself, but because I ran the last 2 miles while being followed by kids on bicycles calling me a "fat cunt". FML
by rolypoly / 03/05/2014 at 7:33am / United Kingdom / Health
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…
- Today, I stumbled upon a slightly drunk neighbor, trying to type in the entry code with his penis.… Today, my mom had to go to one of her relatives’ funeral. She came to borrow a black scarf from me,… Today, I checked in at a hotel, got the keys and went up to my room. However, there seemed to be a…