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treyzthename's favorite FMLs
Today, I recently burned both my hands at work so I had to ask my husband for help changing my tampon, but he refused saying it would make him feel sick. This from the man who routinely sticks his tongue in my asshole when we have sex. FML
by anne / 01/07/2016 at 7:00am / Germany / Intimacy
by Mia / 08/20/2014 at 2:07am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
by lentmarz / 08/19/2014 at 7:37pm / United States (Idaho) / Love
Today, my new doctor gave me a breast exam and said everything was healthy, before adding "Well, I think so, anyway. I don't actually work here." As I freaked out, he laughed out loud, said he was just kidding, and that he should prescribe me a chill pill. FML
by humdrummitydrum / 08/19/2014 at 4:46pm / United States / Health
Today, my boyfriend asked me if we were going to become "that stupid couple that sings cheesy songs to each other." I just spent the past 3 months writing the perfect song that I was planning on singing to him tonight. FML
by wabbyfish / 03/13/2014 at 11:36pm / United States (Minnesota) / Love
by Crochocinco85 / 03/13/2014 at 7:59am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I started my first job as a power line technician. My boss's first words to me were, "I have a good feeling about you, kid!" That would've been great if he hadn't said, "Although, the last time I had a good feeling, the guy died." right afterwards. FML
by Anon / 03/12/2014 at 8:11pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
by Anonymous / 03/11/2014 at 11:34pm / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, my sister brought me coffee to my office. It was really nice so I made a status about it on Facebook. My boyfriend texted me soon after, freaking out because I never put anything on Facebook about him and how great he is. I'm basically dating a 14-year-old girl. FML
by Anonymous / 03/11/2014 at 6:27pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
by ashamed father / 03/09/2014 at 6:32pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by scaredypants123 / 03/07/2014 at 10:41am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I achieved a personal goal by completing a half-marathon for charity, despite being overweight and unfit before training. When I finished I cried, not because I was proud of myself, but because I ran the last 2 miles while being followed by kids on bicycles calling me a "fat cunt". FML
by rolypoly / 03/05/2014 at 7:33am / United Kingdom / Health
Today, my mother asked me why her new airsoft gun wasn't working. I explained to her that it doesn't actually shoot air, it requires pellets too. She looked at me like I was too stupid to be her son. FML
by Drizztreri / 03/04/2014 at 7:09pm / United States (Missouri) / Kids
Today, I spent my first night at my boyfriend's place, and my first night sleeping beside him. I woke up in the early hours to him holding me and muttering in his sleep something like "surprise fisting". I'm beyond terrified. FML
by cockfist / 03/04/2014 at 5:41pm / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 03/04/2014 at 4:06pm / Norway (Akershus) / Love