About travelfreak : Just your average Canadian teenager.
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travelfreak's favorite FMLs
Today, I decided to be healthy and make a fresh juice out of carrots and apples. Apparently, something had gone bad and now my asshole feels like a bomb just went off inside it. Good start to a healthy lifestyle. FML
by howaboutthemcarrots / 04/14/2015 at 11:08am / Finland (Southern Finland) / Health
by Anonymous / 04/12/2015 at 2:29pm / United States (Vermont) / Money
Today, my boyfriend and I tried roleplaying a teacher-student during sex. We're both studying to be actors, so we ended up going into a really deep, emotional storyline that didn't end in sex at all. FML
by too good / 10/24/2014 at 6:54am / United Kingdom (Kent) / Intimacy
by pyrogypsy / 10/23/2014 at 9:05pm / United States (Washington) / Transportation
by max / 10/23/2014 at 7:30pm / United States (Florida) / Love
by longdrive / 10/14/2014 at 1:17am / United States (California) / Transportation
Today, I was pulled over by a cop. He told me one of my lights was busted, and I couldn't help but point out that one of his was out too. He said, "Thanks, I'll get that fixed right away." then gave me a ticket. FML
by Anonymous / 09/29/2014 at 11:42am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation
Today, my husband felt dishonoured: his darling little girl, the love of his life, whom he's always considered pure, turns out to be pregnant. He's now warned her: she's grounded and that whoever did this to her had better not come hanging round the house. Pussy, two years old, is now housebound until her kittens are born. FML
by Anonyme / 09/26/2014 at 2:56am / France (Lorraine) / Animals
Today, my boyfriend and I were planning on having sex. He first excused himself to the bathroom, then returned with a sad face saying he had fumbled with himself in the bathroom to get "ready" and accidentally came. He said, "I was thinking of you though." FML
by hahaohyeahwow / 09/24/2014 at 12:24am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/23/2014 at 12:30pm / United States (Washington) / Love
Today, I got hit by a car while riding my bike to work. In the hospital, every single nurse lectured me about how I wouldn't be here if I wore a helmet, which I'm sure would be really helpful to my broken leg. FML
by thebrokentardis / 09/22/2014 at 2:45am / United States (Minnesota) / Health
by Need Clothes Now / 09/21/2014 at 11:51am / United States (Oregon) / Transportation
Today, I heard what sounded like high-pitched feminine moaning coming from my son's room. I knocked and walked in, expecting to catch him red handed with a girl. He'd just beaten his high score on Flappy Bird. FML
by royallymessedup / 09/21/2014 at 11:33am / United Kingdom / Intimacy
Today, I was having sex with this amazingly hot guy. Things got pretty intense, and right as I was about to orgasm, the gold crucifix came flying off his necklace and sliced my eyelid open. Message received. Well played, God. FML
by Sinnersinner / 09/21/2014 at 7:27am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML
by RuinedTheMood / 09/21/2014 at 1:11am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
- Today, I have my very first gynecologist appointment. I'm 15. My mom wants to "be on the safe side"… Today, my girlfriend called me and asked me if I wanted to have phone sex with her. We got into it.… Today, I was sitting on the bus when a good looking girl accidentally brushed her ass up against my…
- Today, I was complaining to a coworker about how my manager had changed my schedule without telling… Today, While at a resort, my friends and I decided to go to the indoor pool. I was surprised when I… Today while walking to the shop under the blistering African sun, I stepped on something that stuck…