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tot5t

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tot5t

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  • Number of visits : 164
  • Number of comments : 10
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Visits<b>emilyyy_maryyy</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 5:39am<b>kazthesb</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 8:30am<b>Louimei</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 10:23am<b>kylie128</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 8:23am<b>annarcheer</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 7:54am

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tot5t's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband was involved in a horrible series of accidents; he repeatedly slipped and fell into my best friend's vagina. FML

#21382840
9 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31360) - you deserved it (2128)

On 03/28/2015 at 5:20am - intimacy - by soontobewidow (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend because I felt unappreciated. She found it appropriate to sarcastically say, "Oh no, how will I ever be able to open my jars?" FML

#21378617
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29062) - you deserved it (3)

On 03/20/2015 at 9:32pm - love - by tumbleshay - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got a call from the ICU. Apparently, my boyfriend has been there for 3 days and I'm the only person who didn't know. Even my parents have been to see him. FML

#21378357
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30179) - you deserved it (8)

On 03/20/2015 at 11:40am - health - by quietecho95 - United States (Colorado)

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I thought everything went well, until I got a text from him later saying, "Come on mom, she isn't THAT bad." FML

#21375407
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29492) - you deserved it (2135)

On 03/16/2015 at 12:10am - love - by anon - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my son was at a birthday party. After eating a plate of cake, he loudly asked the birthday boy's mum if he could have sloppy seconds. I don't know where he heard that phrase, but the other kids' parents shot me very dirty looks. FML

#21369892
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27102) - you deserved it (2713)

On 03/07/2015 at 11:59am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I saw a person in my class completing a project that was due two periods later and that they had just started in the bathroom. They got a better grade than me. FML

#21366872
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27886) - you deserved it (4116)

On 03/02/2015 at 9:43pm - misc - by Anomaly - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had a talk with my daughter about how I hope her first boyfriend is a special one because 'spending the night' with a boy is a big deal. She replied with a giggle, "Mom, I lost my virginity in a parking lot three years ago!" FML

#21362728
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34084) - you deserved it (9)

On 02/24/2015 at 5:25pm - intimacy - by Like mother like daughter (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I came home from work to find that my girlfriend had sold all of my N64 and Atari games and both the consoles and bought me a PS4 with the money. While I was standing there in shock, she kissed me on the cheek and said, "I know, I'm the greatest." FML

#21361122
460 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44327) - you deserved it (4015)

On 02/22/2015 at 3:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was chased out of my own house by my wife's lover's dog. FML

#21352647
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35558) - you deserved it (2788)

On 02/09/2015 at 9:53am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my science teacher decided not to recommend me for an honors science class for next year. The reason? Last week, I made the mistake of asking whether spray tans give vitamins in the same way as the sun. FML

#21349372
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14175) - you deserved it (42755)

On 02/03/2015 at 10:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I shaved for the first time. My mum gave me a razor and I spent about 20 minutes trying to use it. I gave up, yelling, "FUCK IT!" and put it back on the shelf. It fell, and as it hit the floor, a lid fell off. I'd tried to shave with a sheathed razor for 20 minutes. FML

#21349366
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14634) - you deserved it (38264)

On 02/03/2015 at 10:45pm - health - by februarymarchapril (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while trying some new kinky things with my boyfriend, he cried out, "Call me Jesus!" Yeah... I think we're done with that. FML

#21340673
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29160) - you deserved it (3508)

On 01/19/2015 at 11:42pm - intimacy - by BDSM4Jesus - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging about me to his friends, telling them I have a great smile, cute hair, and very perky tits. This wouldn't be so bad if we weren't both men. FML

#21333775
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29917) - you deserved it (6105)

On 01/09/2015 at 4:11am - love - by pitytitty (man) - United States (California)

Today, I came back from break to find that my roommate had been shitting in the bathtub for the entire 2 weeks I had been gone. FML

#21331081
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38481) - you deserved it (2650)

On 01/05/2015 at 1:27am - misc - by shittysituation - United States (California)

Today, I was lying in bed with my girlfriend. Trying to be romantic, I complimented her on how nice her hair smelled. She replied: "Yeah? Wait till you smell this." then let out the vilest, most nauseating fart I'd ever smelled in my life. FML

#21330185
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35400) - you deserved it (6670)

On 01/03/2015 at 7:23pm - love - by allgassedout (man) - United States (California)



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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

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