torio123

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Offline (the 06/29/2015 at 11:10am)

torio123

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 27 June 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6404
  • Number of comments : 83
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About torio123 : don't touch me

torio123's page activity

Visits<b>mushie12</b> - the 08/24/2016 at 1:47am<b>Vladimiroslaw</b> - the 07/05/2016 at 10:15pm<b>cheyluvsturtles</b> - the 05/28/2016 at 1:42am<b>AndyPandy918</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 10:34pm<b>Nyattack</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 5:44pm<b>Kitty1811</b> - the 12/01/2015 at 3:45pm<b>infernoblaze84</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 5:15pm<b>LittlePengy</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 10:38pm<b>jdmx325</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 4:57am<b>lilferrit</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 4:19am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 8:37am<b>Toughsky</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 1:25pm<b>Mitchellbassists</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 6:57pm<b>darrend1196</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 1:05am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 10:40pm<b>BlankSteve</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 5:18pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 3:11pm<b>yewanchor</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 4:08pm

torio123's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

You sure know how to party?

You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1am. Happy New Year!

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of torio123's badges

torio123's favorite FMLs

Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML

by wendtinmypants / 05/31/2014 at 11:05am / United States (Nebraska) / Love

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

by Charlie529 / 02/19/2014 at 10:30am / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boss let me know that I'm being laid off, via a text message that ended in "lmao". FML

by soon to be unemployed / 01/28/2014 at 5:36pm / United Kingdom (Southampton) / Work

Today, school was out because of snow. My dad walked in my room and shouted "Why are you home?!" I told him why, and he replied, "Then get out the damn house and play in the snow." He tossed me out in nothing but my shorts. FML

by Anonymous / 01/23/2014 at 4:49pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was laying down with my girlfriend, when she asked me if I'd ever been kicked in the junk. I awkwardly said no, and she replied, "Well maybe that should change." while rubbing my shoulder lovingly. I'm scared. FML

by Anonymous / 01/14/2014 at 11:15am / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Health

Today, I went to my bedroom for some alone time while my daughter watched TV. I didn't realize that my iPad was still connected to the Apple TV, until I hit play on some porn and heard a scream from the other room. FML

by ConfusedDad / 12/29/2013 at 2:01am / United States / Kids

Today, I was lying beside my 5-year-old son to help him get to sleep. He turned his head and asked, "Daddy, why do you suck so much?" FML

by I don't know, son / 11/15/2013 at 8:53pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, at the movies, some asswipe kept throwing candy at me. After 20 minutes of it, I got up and went over to get him to stop. Good news: his balls vanished faster than a politician's spine immediately after being elected. Bad news: I got kicked out for "starting a disturbance". FML

by fuck you, bitchcake / 11/10/2013 at 1:26pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was working out, I was listening to music with my earbuds in. The Pokémon theme started playing and I begun singing along. It wasn't too long after that I remembered I was in a crowded gym on a military base. FML

by GymBattle / 10/31/2013 at 7:18pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to call a plumber out to clear a blockage in our bathroom drainpipe. After coming back from work later in the day, and after a tearful confession from my wife, I found out that pipe wasn't the only one he snaked. FML

by soon to be divorced / 10/24/2013 at 4:06pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned that my parrots now can shit horizontally when I found the wall next to the cage covered in feces. FML

by StefanKa / 09/09/2013 at 5:30am / Poland (Mazowieckie) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML

by fartz / 08/31/2013 at 2:04am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I got sexual tingles while watching a Subway worker assemble my sandwich. FML

by Anonymous / 08/20/2013 at 6:46pm / United Kingdom (Sheffield) / Intimacy

Today, I asked my surgeon if I would be having a general or local anesthetic at my upcoming operation. He replied, "General, of course! It's gonna be a slaughterhouse in there!" FML

by pong / 08/06/2013 at 5:59pm / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Health

Today, my uncle drove to my house in his tractor, beer in one hand, and a radio strapped to the dash blasting country music at unimaginable volume. Neither of us live on a farm. Half the neighborhood stood angrily glaring at us until we went inside. FML

by unwilling redneck / 05/24/2013 at 6:48pm / United States / Miscellaneous