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Offline (the 04/16/2014 at 5:00pm) | Search for a member
About toriaaa1313 : well I like to think I'm funny even if I'm not. I am a simple country girl that loves to fish, hunt, or ride a fourwheeler/big ole truck through some muddy back roads real fast and crazy. the fastest way to my heart is to put me behind the wheel of ur truck. I like to drink even if I can't hold my liquor. I like to live happy and make memories. I like to be me even if nobody else likes it. :)
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Today, I got a call from the police that my house had been burglarized, but an off-duty cop caught the criminal. I pull up to see my detained, psycho ex-boyfriend sheepishly grinning at me. He had three of my lace panties and two of my bras, claiming it was "all for memories sake". FML
Today, it's my birthday. The only people who wished me a happy birthday were the ones who saw the "birthday boy" poster my sister plastered around school, which included a photo of me as a kid dressed up as a girl. FML
Today, my boyfriend stayed over at my place for the first time. I left him in the bedroom for a couple of minutes while I used the toilet, and when I came back, he was holding my vibrator. He angrily asked me, "What the hell is this? You know this is cheating, right?" FML
Today, my neighbor asked to come over and use my laptop. She showed up drunk, grabbed my boobs, and asked if I'd ever had a lesbian experience. We both have husbands and kids; the kids were in the room. FML
Friday 27 February 2015