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tophilis

Offline (the 05/19/2015 at 10:51pm) | Search for a member

tophilis

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 3488
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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tophilis's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of tophilis's badges

tophilis's favorite FMLs

Today, at work, I was about to close a big sale, when a coworker rushed over and said there was a call for me in the office. He heavily implied my mom had died, and I rushed out. After I figured out there was no call and that my mom was fine, he'd already stolen my sale and the commission. FML

#21410601
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33678) - you deserved it (1981)

On 05/15/2015 at 4:58pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I decided to surprise my girlfriend at work. Because she was "bored and didn't feel like seeing me" she thought it would be funny to call security and claim that I was stalking her. There is now a picture of my face at her workplace, and anytime I "pester her again" the cops will show up. FML

#21408859
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28444) - you deserved it (3807)

On 05/12/2015 at 8:53am - intimacy - by Darryl - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend and I went shopping for an engagement ring. We ended up breaking up in the process. FML

#21289613
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40323) - you deserved it (6705)

On 11/01/2014 at 10:06am - love - by limegreengiraffe - United States (Texas)

Today, while reading 1984 on the train, a cute guy around my age and I got into a great a discussion about the book. Just when I thought he might ask for my number, he got up, patted me on the head and said it's so nice that kids my age still took interest in real literature. I'm 25. FML

#21284324
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36797) - you deserved it (2977)

On 10/24/2014 at 9:47am - misc - by anonymous - Austria (Wien)

Today, I was skating in the city when I slipped and fractured my arm. As I was lying in pain, a guy walked up to me, frisked my pocket and took my wallet. He then said: "It's nothing personal." FML

#21281599
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36872) - you deserved it (2941)

On 10/20/2014 at 4:50am - misc - by ColdStones (man) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, a girl puked on me. No warnings, nothing. She just threw up on me, then walked off like nothing even happened. FML

#21271247
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40255) - you deserved it (2844)

On 10/05/2014 at 1:48pm - health - by Eww - United States (Oregon)

Today, the tornado sirens went off so my family went to the basement and turned on the TV to the local news. The station goes to their sky cam as a trampoline flies by. Quite the sight. When the storm passed, I looked outside to see our trampoline was gone. It was the one flying by on TV. FML

#21137290
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48649) - you deserved it (4431)

On 05/11/2014 at 11:29pm - misc - by Gone With the Wind - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I got rejected by a girl I wasn't even trying to ask out. FML

#20965341
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46360) - you deserved it (3834)

On 11/21/2013 at 12:27am - love - by this guy - United States (California)

Today, the guy I like shoved me out of the way so he could talk to another girl. FML

#20964674
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50696) - you deserved it (4817)

On 11/20/2013 at 4:06pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I superglued the sole back into my shoe. Unfortunately, the glue didn't dry as quickly as it said it would on the bottle. The glue seeped through the sole and my foot got superglued to my shoe. FML

#20956277
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39278) - you deserved it (11213)

On 11/13/2013 at 12:51pm - misc - by footstuck - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had planned to break up with my overbearing girlfriend. She went into complete denial mode, bought me a pair of oversized sunglasses and tomorrow we're going ice-skating. Kill me now. FML

#20947052
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42083) - you deserved it (10246)

On 11/05/2013 at 9:53pm - love - by Trapped. (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I finally worked up enough courage to ask out the guy I've had a crush on for months. I texted him, and he thought I was Maddy from work, not Maddie his neighbor. Now he and the Maddy from his work are dating. FML

#20945397
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53069) - you deserved it (5507)

On 11/04/2013 at 5:27pm - love - by :/ (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I heard my surgeon mutter to a nurse how easy it would be to kill me on the operating table and make it look like an accident. FML

#20940427
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48152) - you deserved it (3204)

On 10/31/2013 at 4:42pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, I gave a short presentation at a neighborhood watch event to raise awareness of pickpocketing and to give tips on how to avoid becoming a victim of it. After I got back home, I realized my wallet was missing from my pocket. FML

#20940212
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36540) - you deserved it (5755)

On 10/31/2013 at 12:58pm - work - by "ironyyyyyyy" -_- (man) - United States (Virginia)



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