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tophilis

Offline (the 07/31/2015 at 10:27am) | Search for a member

tophilis

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 3860
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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tophilis's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of tophilis's badges

tophilis's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having a rough day, so I decided to go to the movies to unwind. 15 minutes in, some assmunch behind me said "This movie sucks!" then dumped his drink over my head and ran out. FML

#21431146
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27394) - you deserved it (1567)

On 06/24/2015 at 1:10pm - misc - by zaynemaliksvagina (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, at my sister's wedding, she and I had a plan that she would purposely throw the bouquet to my girlfriend, then I would propose in front of everyone. When the bouquet landed in my girlfriend's lap, she screamed, "Ew, no way" and threw it to someone else. FML

#21430908
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30255) - you deserved it (3134)

On 06/23/2015 at 10:48pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boss confided in me that when a gay person visits his house, he discreetly follows them around and cleans anything they touched and everywhere they sat with disinfectant wipes. I've worked for him for 7 years but he doesn't know I'm gay. FML

#21430685
114 comments

Today, when I turned on the TV, there was a picture of a wanted murderer. The picture looked just like my boyfriend. FML

#21430015
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27400) - you deserved it (2369)

On 06/22/2015 at 7:26am - misc - by 1234 - United States (Florida)

Today, I caught my mother-in-law trying to plant a GPS tracker on my car. FML

#21428876
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26684) - you deserved it (1782)

On 06/20/2015 at 1:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, a cute guy asked me if I was single. When I said yes, he said "Yeah, you look like the type", and walked away. FML

#21428639
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26905) - you deserved it (2012)

On 06/19/2015 at 3:51pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, while talking to my parents, I dropped an ordinary drinking glass. After I apologized and cleaned the mess, they told me that they had decided that if I couldn't be careful at home, I certainly couldn't be careful on the roads. They took away my keys. I'm 19. FML

#21426656
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26774) - you deserved it (2417)

On 06/15/2015 at 7:07pm - misc - by PatientlyDying (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I insulted my younger sister's hamster. She then smashed me with a stool. FML

#21426566
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24931) - you deserved it (8554)

On 06/15/2015 at 4:02pm - kids - by HttpsHaileyy - United States

Today, the guy I made cookies for, spent hours getting ready for, and drove 3 hours in traffic to see never actually wanted me to come. When I knocked on his door, he opened it, but immediately closed it in my face. He then texted me saying, "I met someone else." FML

Today, I found out the reason my crush has been talking so openly to me. Not because she likes me back, but because she thinks I'm gay. FML

#21423092
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26957) - you deserved it (2349)

On 06/08/2015 at 11:04pm - love - by Not Gay - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I gave my girlfriend a hickey barely an inch from her vagina. She texted me later, saying her dad saw it and had grounded her. So yeah, I'm not sure I even want to know what the hell goes on in their house. FML

#21420087
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36553) - you deserved it (2556)

On 06/03/2015 at 3:22am - intimacy - by W T F (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, while driving home from work, I saw my boyfriend mugging a woman on the sidewalk. FML

#21417917
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32504) - you deserved it (2834)

On 05/30/2015 at 3:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend having sex with another woman. They told me to leave so they could finish, and that "we'll all talk this over later." FML

#21416749
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36062) - you deserved it (2403)

On 05/27/2015 at 6:03pm - intimacy - by hellno (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, one of my students tried to bribe me $200 to change his grade. When I said no and told him he was lucky I didn't report him, he went to the dean and told him I offered to change his grade for money. I'm now suspended and under investigation. FML

#21416617
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36653) - you deserved it (3170)

On 05/27/2015 at 12:25pm - work - by UN4 (man) - United States

Today, at work, I was about to close a big sale, when a coworker rushed over and said there was a call for me in the office. He heavily implied my mom had died, and I rushed out. After I figured out there was no call and that my mom was fine, he'd already stolen my sale and the commission. FML

#21410601
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35470) - you deserved it (2014)

On 05/15/2015 at 4:58pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)



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