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tophilis

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tophilis
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1197
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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tophilis's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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tophilis's favorite FMLs

Today, I got rejected by a girl I wasn't even trying to ask out. FML

#20965341
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43265) - you deserved it (3529)

On 11/21/2013 at 12:27am - love - by this guy - United States (California)

Today, the guy I like shoved me out of the way so he could talk to another girl. FML

#20964674
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45828) - you deserved it (4078)

On 11/20/2013 at 4:06pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I superglued the sole back into my shoe. Unfortunately, the glue didn't dry as quickly as it said it would on the bottle. The glue seeped through the sole and my foot got superglued to my shoe. FML

#20956277
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37017) - you deserved it (10141)

On 11/13/2013 at 12:51pm - misc - by footstuck - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had planned to break up with my overbearing girlfriend. She went into complete denial mode, bought me a pair of oversized sunglasses and tomorrow we're going ice-skating. Kill me now. FML

#20947052
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39334) - you deserved it (9570)

On 11/05/2013 at 9:53pm - love - by Trapped. (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I finally worked up enough courage to ask out the guy I've had a crush on for months. I texted him, and he thought I was Maddy from work, not Maddie his neighbor. Now he and the Maddy from his work are dating. FML

#20945397
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48092) - you deserved it (4642)

On 11/04/2013 at 5:27pm - love - by :/ (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I heard my surgeon mutter to a nurse how easy it would be to kill me on the operating table and make it look like an accident. FML

#20940427
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44206) - you deserved it (2711)

On 10/31/2013 at 4:42pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, I gave a short presentation at a neighborhood watch event to raise awareness of pickpocketing and to give tips on how to avoid becoming a victim of it. After I got back home, I realized my wallet was missing from my pocket. FML

#20940212
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33006) - you deserved it (5019)

On 10/31/2013 at 12:58pm - work - by "ironyyyyyyy" -_- (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my wife ate nothing all day due to her morning sickness, but I tried to get her to eat something light, for our baby's sake. I brought her a banana. She yelled at me for being a "pervert" and accused me of just wanting to watch her stick a phallic object in her mouth. FML

#20935582
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42376) - you deserved it (4745)

On 10/27/2013 at 12:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my ex boyfriend got into a physical fight with the guy I've been casually seeing for 9 months. Afterwards, they had a beer, a long chat, and decided this was my fault and I wasn't worth the drama. FML

#20933266
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39713) - you deserved it (17501)

On 10/25/2013 at 7:54am - love - by what did I do? - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to take my boyfriend to the emergency room to get stitches from cutting his arm during sex. I sat there while he explained to the doctor how it was the best orgasm ever. FML

#20924645
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40300) - you deserved it (4831)

On 10/17/2013 at 11:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I passed my math test with flying colors. My dad thought I had cheated, so he emailed the school and told them that I had. They lowered my grade. FML

#20912578
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56075) - you deserved it (3198)

On 10/08/2013 at 3:17pm - misc - by mathgenius - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, my insane war veteran great-uncle punched me in the throat for not laughing hard enough at his own stupid joke. FML

#20898629
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36891) - you deserved it (4022)

On 09/28/2013 at 12:02am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to be friendly and say hi to the weird kid at school, who was sitting by himself eating lunch. After I said hello, he stared up at me intensely and said, "I don't have many friends. Yeah. Mainly 'cause I've eaten most of them." FML

#20895757
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36295) - you deserved it (4446)

On 09/25/2013 at 4:02pm - misc - by scared shitless in ohio (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I realized that my grandma has pictures of all her grandchildren all over her house, with one glaring exception: me. FML



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