About tootsie68 : Hello there! Thank you for creepily stalking me. You may go along your way now...
tootsie68's FML badges
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
tootsie68's favorite FMLs
Today, as I was riding my bike, my foot slipped and I did a slow speed-tumble over the top, ripping my balls wide open. Number of stitches: too many to count. Size of balls: softball. Color: blue. FML
by Anonymous / 08/18/2012 at 1:15am / United States / Health
by Just_Me_88 / 08/18/2012 at 1:09am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/29/2012 at 1:27am / United States (Michigan) / Love
Today, I found my husband's journal, and along with it the real reason he took so long to show up to our wedding rehearsals last year. According to the journal, it was because he was too busy wooing a married mother of five and sticking his "slut-banger all up in that fat booty." FML
by divorce? i think so / 07/20/2012 at 10:12pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by oops123 / 07/16/2012 at 10:38am / United States / Kids
by Anonymous / 07/15/2012 at 8:12pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by Sherry / 07/11/2012 at 9:29am / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy
by moodyreallyrocks / 07/08/2012 at 8:30pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love
by Anonymous / 07/07/2012 at 6:00pm / United States (New York) / Love
by Anonymous / 07/05/2012 at 3:10pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by fail / 06/15/2012 at 11:36am / United States (Tennessee) / Love
Today, I went to see a movie with my girlfriend and a few others. Mid-way through, I noticed my girlfriend giving a hand-job to my best friend. I couldn't believe my eyes, and I confronted them. He claimed he had been asleep, she claimed she was mopping up a spill, and I'm now single again. FML
by aranya / 06/14/2012 at 6:51pm / Netherlands (Overijssel) / Intimacy
by ww2freak / 06/13/2012 at 9:17pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by Sarah / 06/12/2012 at 12:59pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money
Today, I went to the circus with my family. When we were looking at the animals during the break, an elephant took my purse with his trunk and ate it. It crushed my cellphone, camera, keys and wallet. After that, the circus director yelled at me for feeding poisonous stuff to his elephant. FML
by ILoveAnimals / 06/11/2012 at 3:14am / Austria (Wien) / Animals
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was fired from my job because I, in my bosses words, "Abided by company policy to such an…