Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

tootsie68

Search for a member

tootsie68
  • Town/Country : Michigan, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 23 April 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 918
  • Number of comments : 52
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About tootsie68 : Hello there! My name is Ala'a and I am from Egypt, though I was been raised in the United States. I live in Michigan, The Land of Bipolar Weather.

Feel free to message me!!

tootsie68's last visitors

Jeeper4Lifeandyhitts25Cristian89EmpyreeBeccaBoo2010MandyCat484A07Amberm13357mariannezrAustin300C7tea_brewer

tootsie68's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of tootsie68's badges

tootsie68's favorite FMLs

Today, I was on a girls' trip in Las Vegas. I met a cute guy at a bar and we were going back to his hotel room together. On the way up, he asked me how much it would cost. FML

#20564361
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41143) - you deserved it (18070)

On 03/28/2013 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by Hooker (woman) - United States

Today, I was walking out of my girlfriend's house with her when I saw her thong drying on the rack. I picked it up, sniffed it and put it on my face as a joke. She replied with, "Those are my mother's." FML

#20461976
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10234) - you deserved it (35985)

On 01/16/2013 at 12:52am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my wife and I had a fight, which I thought we resolved. Later, while painting the kitchen, I told her to change into an old shirt she didn't care about. She made a huge show of putting her wedding gown on, veil and all. FML

#20436663
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34835) - you deserved it (4044)

On 01/01/2013 at 4:33pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he flicks my clitoris just right, my legs both twitch spastically regardless of arousal level. He thinks it's hilarious and can no longer take sex seriously. FML

#20423881
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36371) - you deserved it (4347)

On 12/26/2012 at 4:20pm - intimacy - by geewhy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML

#20418714
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41612) - you deserved it (23009)

On 12/24/2012 at 1:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, because my boyfriend drives a 2-seated sports car, I had to awkwardly sit on his brother's lap as we drove to the store. I soon felt a poking sensation through his pants, just a few minutes before we hit a bumpy road. FML

#20414298
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46716) - you deserved it (5943)

On 12/22/2012 at 5:55pm - intimacy - by orgasmicriding (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my dad forced the whole family to sit through a two-hour lecture, with supporting research, on how the "Mayan prophecy" is actually a load of shit fabricated by conmen. Nice to know he thinks we're all borderline brain-dead, gullible fuckwits who believed it to begin with. Thanks, dad. FML

#20400784
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16222) - you deserved it (3741)

On 12/15/2012 at 1:43pm - misc - by oh gee, you don't say (woman) - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, I was chatting to a friend on Facebook about girls, and why we're single. We somehow ended up admitting to one another that we'd never get girlfriends, finding out that we both like hentai porn, and trading info on Japanese sex toys. FML

#20196663
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7708) - you deserved it (25287)

On 12/08/2012 at 5:52pm - love - by XxtentaculonxX - United Kingdom (Argyll and Bute)

Today, in break from tradition, I proposed to my boyfriend. We were at a Japanese Pagoda. Water was trickling everywhere; the moment was perfect. While I was on my knee, after pouring my heart out, he looked wistfully out over the water and said, "So, I was thinking pizza tonight." FML

#20173702
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21637) - you deserved it (4270)

On 11/22/2012 at 11:13am - love - by but I tried anal and everything (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML

#20111886
525 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71935) - you deserved it (8399)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:30am - kids - by wdunn69733 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was walking home when I saw an elderly woman struggling with a large bag of garbage. I asked if I could help. I got it all the way to the dumpster and the bag ripped. Inside were about fourteen dead cats. FML

Today, I found out that the landscaper my wife hired on my behalf wasn't kidding when he said he was going to trim my wife's bush. FML

#20098929
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28533) - you deserved it (2328)

On 10/02/2012 at 8:04pm - intimacy - by praise the prenup (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, a guy I've been seeing for a while sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clicked the link just to see what sick shit he wanted to show me. It was my mom. FML

#20079475
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57089) - you deserved it (2877)

On 09/19/2012 at 4:41pm - intimacy - by identitychangeplease - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I found out my little brother is a highly committed Nazi. He goes to meetings and everything, my parents think it's great he is "getting out and developing a social life." FML

#20078083
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25843) - you deserved it (1501)

On 09/18/2012 at 5:46pm - misc - by he is going to hell (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my daughter and her boyfriend excitedly told me that after months of trying they are finally pregnant and that I'm going to be a grandmother. This would be great news if they weren't 15. FML

#20077962
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41187) - you deserved it (5960)

On 09/18/2012 at 4:20pm - health - by GMD (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: