About tootsie68 : Hello there! Thank you for creepily stalking me. You may go along your way now...
tootsie68's FML badges
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
tootsie68's favorite FMLs
by toametru1 / 11/09/2016 at 2:08am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by mycountryisdumb / 11/09/2016 at 1:54am / United States (Alaska) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend whilst straddled on top of him. He started to undo my bra. I was fine with this but he stopped kissing me and looked at me with a slight smile. He then said, "I know this is going to kill the mood... but I feel like I could milk your boobs right now" FML
by cheekymonkey97 / 10/24/2016 at 12:48pm / Intimacy
by Random / 02/25/2016 at 5:09pm / United States (Alabama) / Love
by Haitwun / 12/14/2015 at 2:29am / United States (California) / Love
by snortingspunk / 12/03/2015 at 7:52am / South Africa / Intimacy
Today, I put one of those checkout dividers in front of my groceries on the conveyor belt in the supermarket. The guy standing in front of me turned around, looked me straight in the eye and said "I don't trust you." as he put a second divider between our groceries. FML
by Quendolin / 11/09/2015 at 9:07am / Germany / Miscellaneous
Today, I finally got a good seat on a plane. I don't know what the man next to me had eaten, but I was trapped for two hours next to him as he let out silent, deadly egg farts the entire trip. There was nowhere to escape. FML
by AwkwardFireFly / 11/08/2015 at 11:31pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Transportation
Today, after several months desperately searching for a job and feeling pretty insecure and unimportant, I drove 15 miles to a job interview. On parking my car at the destination, I found that during my drive a spider had been making a cobweb between the car and my hair. FML
by Geemeisters / 11/08/2015 at 5:03am / United Kingdom (Warwickshire) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 11/04/2015 at 8:17pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I learned the hard way that my boyfriend lied about getting a vasectomy before we met, in spite of knowing how phobic I am of pregnancy and kids. His defense? "I figured you'd change your mind someday, because all you chicks love babies." FML
by nocongratsneeded / 11/03/2015 at 10:23pm / United States (Michigan) / Health
by Oh Cock / 10/10/2015 at 11:15am / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Love
by Thank God I Flush Them Down The Toilet / 09/25/2015 at 9:10pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by annonymous / 09/07/2015 at 4:56pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, the girl I like at work surprised me in the otherwise empty break room. She caught me taking part in what might as well have been the Ball-Scratching Olympics. I didn't notice she was behind me until she cleared her throat to get my attention. Shit. FML
by ballthlete / 09/06/2015 at 12:55am / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, a week after dropping my car off for the third time in a month at the dealership because of…