About toorudett : Life is what you make it...
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toorudett's favorite FMLs
Today, my boss threatened to write me up, after I made a slightly rude joke about a coworker everyone hates. A while later, a colleague told me the same joke. Turns out my boss had gone around telling it to everyone else and taking all the credit. FML
by jalisc512 / 08/21/2014 at 4:16pm / United States (Colorado) / Work
by swiggityswooty / 07/23/2014 at 12:09am / United States (California) / Love
by Anonymous / 07/23/2014 at 12:04am / Canada (British Columbia) / Work
Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML
by Face fucking palm / 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by Inthedumps / 07/22/2014 at 8:51pm / United States (Illinois) / Work
by Anonymous / 07/22/2014 at 8:43pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Transportation
Today, I went to my weekly AA meeting. It was a huge crowd and I was the guest speaker. Not 5 minutes into my speech, I was booed off stage and banned from further attendance because I accidentally wore a Jack Daniel's shirt. FML
by dypshyyt / 07/22/2014 at 7:20pm / United States (Florida) / Health
Today, I was prepping for an interview after several months of unemployment. I had just finished brushing my teeth when I reached back and grabbed a towel behind me to wipe my face. Turns out it wasn't a towel, it was my newly dry-cleaned suit jacket that my wife had put there for me. FML
by Infadel / 07/22/2014 at 5:55pm / United States (California) / Work
by Anonymous / 07/22/2014 at 1:39pm / United States (California) / Kids
by d4rkxf0x / 07/22/2014 at 11:54am / United States (Texas) / Geek
Today, my boyfriend reckoned that he has a better sleep when he falls asleep with his hand on either my boobs or my ass. I kind of just laughed it off. I later discovered he's 100% correct when he put his hand on my butt, and not five minutes later was snoring. FML
by and the truth comes out / 07/22/2014 at 4:44am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
by teegtwo / 07/22/2014 at 1:55am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was pulled over for speeding. The officer was nice and let me off with just a warning. That is, until my dipshit brother yelled "Fucking pig!" out the window as the officer walked back to his car. FML
by Anonymous / 07/21/2014 at 11:58am / United States (Connecticut) / Transportation
Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML
by Pandamomma / 07/21/2014 at 8:58am / United States (North Carolina) / Kids
by murrrrf / 07/21/2014 at 1:30am / United States (Missouri) / Animals
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…