About tommyfox : I'm just an average American man who loves bowling and playing Irish jigs on 4 instruments.
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tommyfox's favorite FMLs
Today, I woke up and went into the bathroom and noticed a dark mass in the toilet. Thinking someone took a dump and didn't flush, I approached the toilet ready to dispose of it. That's when I noticed its whiskers and ears. It was a rat, and it was alive. FML
by Anonymous / 05/08/2009 at 11:03pm / United States / Animals
Today, I left the sliding glass door to our townhouse open because it was such a beautiful day. Our new puppy, whom we have been potty training, peed in the yard and I praised him relentlessly. He then walked inside the house, pooped on the carpet, and ran back outside. FML
by lalibear / 05/03/2009 at 12:07pm / United States (Oregon) / Animals
Today, I was working as a swim instructor for kids. Teaching them not to be afraid of the water, I put my face in the water and blew bubbles. I asked them to try it. All of them did, except for one. I went right to him and blew bubbles again. He then said to me, "but I just peed in that water." FML
by poolboy / 04/14/2009 at 4:51am / United States (Nevada) / Kids
by tool / 04/09/2009 at 2:03am / United States (Nevada) / Work
Today, a girl-scout asked me to buy cookies, in front of Giant. She looked nice, so I bought 5 boxes from her. She took the money and went home with her mom. I opened the boxes when I got home and realized that the boxes just had rocks in them. I got scammed by a girl-scout. FML
by twit / 03/15/2009 at 9:14pm / United States (Maryland) / Money
by pchemist / 02/21/2009 at 7:13pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
Today, I was woken up by my roommates cat meowing so loudly at her door, wanting in. Suddenly it stopped. I was just falling back into sleep when I rolled over and the cat was right there beside my head. Meowing. FML
by Noname / 01/30/2009 at 1:18pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
- Today, my wife mentioned that she wanted to give me a three-way. I was ecstatic, until she opened… Today, I was sending some dirty texts to my boyfriend, when I heard a knocking sound coming through… Today, I overheard my boyfriend telling his friends about how great the sex was last night, and how…