About tommyfox : I'm going to college to be a petroleum engineer, but until then I'm just bowling competitively, driving a pedicab, and being ruthlessly blunt.
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tommyfox's favorite FMLs
by cnamobi / 04/28/2011 at 12:51pm / United States (North Carolina) / Health
by nicki / 11/14/2010 at 12:18pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids
by MandMandM / 07/19/2010 at 2:38am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
by PissyPants / 06/20/2010 at 1:12am / United States (California) / Love
by notasgood / 01/12/2010 at 6:54pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend and I were sitting downstairs with my mom. We heard the dog running around upstairs and called it down. It came running down the stairs. With a used condom in its mouth. The same condom my girlfriend and I lost two weeks ago. It put it directly in my mom's hands. FML
by Tucker / 11/18/2009 at 4:35pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
Today, I was really, REALLY tired at work. I went to the restroom to take a little break, and must have dozed off, because I was awoken by my boss, knocking on the door of the stall. Apparently, I had been snoring. FML
by sleepytime / 10/05/2009 at 12:36pm / United States (Nebraska) / Work
by Loveless / 09/10/2009 at 2:18am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my 6 year old daughter somehow learned about sex. She also had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When the teacher asked where she came from, she said, "My daddy's happy sacks." FML
by Ben / 08/21/2009 at 5:28pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend. We went inside the theatre and he saw a couple of his friends. Instead of saying hi and coming back to watch the movie with me, he ditched me for them. When I reminded him he was forgetting something, he grabbed the popcorn out of my hands and left. FML
by ditched / 08/17/2009 at 3:49pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, I was going on a first date with a girl I really like. We were going to see the new Harry Potter movie, and she told me she was getting all dressed up. It was only after I picked her up I realized she meant that she was dressing nicely. I was dressed as Harry Potter. FML
by harrysolo / 07/18/2009 at 9:26pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to a pet store to adopt a dog. I got a medium sized lab, a dog crate, and a few toys, then put his crate in the back of my truck and the dog in his crate. On the way home I realized I forgot dog bowls and some dog food. I went back, and when I got back out to my truck, my dog was gone. My stereo too. FML
by doggone / 07/14/2009 at 4:55am / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, my cousin and I found out that when a girl puts a flower in the right side of her hair, it means she's available. The bigger the flower, the more available she is. My eleven year old boy cousin told me to cut down a palm tree and put it in my hair. FML
by Anonymous / 06/06/2009 at 8:38pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love