About tommyfox : I'm going to college to be a petroleum engineer, but until then I'm just bowling competitively, driving a pedicab, and being ruthlessly blunt.
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tommyfox's favorite FMLs
Today, my boyfriend and I were making love for the first time, when out of nowhere my cat meowed from the doorway. My boyfriend sighed, pulled out, and exasperatedly called me a selfish bitch for not having put my cat outside. FML
by S12Sophia / 05/02/2012 at 6:06pm / France / Intimacy
Today, my mother and I went to a meeting at my school about a camping trip the students in my grade will be going on. When the time to ask questions came, my mother raised her hand and loudly asked, "What if my child is on their period during the trip?" FML
by Bebefer / 03/15/2012 at 3:49am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Katherine / 02/13/2012 at 4:23pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Kids
Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML
by aliezzedine / 02/02/2012 at 6:32am / Lebanon / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/17/2012 at 6:57am / United States / Love
Today, I've had chairs thrown at me, kicks have hit me in the nuts and I've heard "I'm gonna fucking kill you, bitch" several times. I work at a kindergarten. And this is a good day compared to what I'm used to. FML
by Anonymous / 01/12/2012 at 6:54am / Sweden / Kids
by Anonymous / 01/04/2012 at 11:20am / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
Today, I was woken up early in the morning by the sound of my mother frantically crying out for help. Apparently she had tried, unsuccessfully, to "end the suffering" of an injured squirrel by drowning it in the toilet. How? By placing it into the bowl and smothering it with clothes. My clothes. FML
by Anonymous / 12/21/2011 at 1:06pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, while having dinner with my boyfriend's family, his mom told me that it looks like I've gained quite some weight. When my boyfriend told her that this was a rude thing to say, she said it wasn't rude, just the truth. FML
by Embarrassed / 12/12/2011 at 8:45am / Germany (Bayern) / Love
by pops up / 12/01/2011 at 5:25pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
by davidh5012 / 11/27/2011 at 4:41pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by Luke / 11/07/2011 at 9:53am / United States (Virginia) / Money
by Mrs. Terrified / 10/23/2011 at 7:08pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love
by Anonymous / 09/28/2011 at 5:52pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
Today, I found out my 97-year-old Grandma has an imaginary 30-year-old boyfriend. I laughed until my mom said, "She's still doing better than you. You don't even have an imaginary boyfriend, let alone a real one." FML
by Anonymous / 09/07/2011 at 12:30am / United States (Colorado) / Love
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today my mom, bored lover of games and mysteries, bragged about outsmarting scammers by burning all…