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tommyfox

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tommyfox
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 710
  • Number of comments : 125
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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100 kick ass comments

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tommyfox's favorite FMLs

Today, I was talking to a friend about how many germs live on the average cell phone. My five year old son apparently overheard me talking, and decided to give my cell phone a bath. FML

#19066123
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20202) - you deserved it (5058)

On 02/13/2012 at 4:23pm - kids - by Katherine - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML

#18974920
215 comments

Today, I found out the girl I've been fooling around with for two weeks has a boyfriend, who is in jail, and is a member of the Aryan Brotherhood. FML

#18833133
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32182) - you deserved it (6395)

On 01/17/2012 at 6:57am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I've had chairs thrown at me, kicks have hit me in the nuts and I've heard "I'm gonna fucking kill you, bitch" several times. I work at a kindergarten. And this is a good day compared to what I'm used to. FML

#18783134
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35807) - you deserved it (3158)

On 01/12/2012 at 6:54am - kids - by Anonymous - Sweden

Today, I had to ask my girlfriend to please stop telling me about her ex's penis. FML

#18705552
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41357) - you deserved it (3954)

On 01/04/2012 at 11:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was woken up early in the morning by the sound of my mother frantically crying out for help. Apparently she had tried, unsuccessfully, to "end the suffering" of an injured squirrel by drowning it in the toilet. How? By placing it into the bowl and smothering it with clothes. My clothes. FML

#18570075
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25097) - you deserved it (2030)

On 12/21/2011 at 1:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while having dinner with my boyfriend's family, his mom told me that it looks like I've gained quite some weight. When my boyfriend told her that this was a rude thing to say, she said it wasn't rude, just the truth. FML

#18493088
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25755) - you deserved it (5303)

On 12/12/2011 at 8:45am - love - by Embarrassed (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I sat on Santa's lap. He got an erection. FML

#18404973
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33464) - you deserved it (7314)

On 12/01/2011 at 5:25pm - intimacy - by pops up - United States (Missouri)

Today, my dad had his "sixteen years overdue" vasectomy. I'm fifteen. FML

#18367915
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23624) - you deserved it (2228)

On 11/27/2011 at 4:41pm - misc - by davidh5012 (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I discovered that if you are being mugged, never tell your mugger you are going to call the police because he will come back and steal your phone too. FML

#18183017
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13607) - you deserved it (27868)

On 11/07/2011 at 9:53am - money - by Luke - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was at a shooting range with my father. The target was a creepy poster of a man. My father said, "This one is for your boyfriend." Perfect groin shot. FML

#18057000
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20197) - you deserved it (2915)

On 10/23/2011 at 7:08pm - love - by Mrs. Terrified - United States (Kentucky)

Today, the boy I like came to my house with a dozen roses to ask me to homecoming. My uncle chased him down the street with a pitchfork. FML

#17857162
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32010) - you deserved it (1706)

On 09/28/2011 at 5:52pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out my 97-year-old Grandma has an imaginary 30-year-old boyfriend. I laughed until my mom said, "She's still doing better than you. You don't even have an imaginary boyfriend, let alone a real one." FML

#17685680
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24202) - you deserved it (8634)

On 09/07/2011 at 12:30am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, a tornado watch has been instituted in my town. At this moment, I have violent diarrhea, and my toilet sits right in front of a window. FML

#15962941
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28132) - you deserved it (3644)

On 04/28/2011 at 12:51pm - health - by cnamobi - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my wife got her second kidney stone in a month. I gave her some pills to help with the pain. An hour later she started hallucinating, pulled down her pants and tried to pee on our couch. FML

#14282049
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24803) - you deserved it (5706)

On 12/21/2010 at 4:25am - health - by qwaynick -



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