tomhofer

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tomhofer

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1707
  • Number of comments : 97
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About tomhofer : Moo moo moo moo. I am a cow.

tomhofer's page activity

Visits<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 9:00pm<b>Dale_shackleford</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 1:09pm<b>starlandmarie</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 2:24pm<b>UrWaifuIsShit</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 8:47am<b>Aukrenchi</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 2:43pm<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 10:22am<b>MrsWinchester</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 2:11pm<b>Charlespaintin88</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 2:19am<b>Jazzyw1997</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 10:43am<b>deathscale500</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 10:41pm<b>cheesyfeet2001</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 3:53am<b>BananaSantos</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 8:23pm<b>OnlyAvailableID</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 1:41pm<b>laamjidkek</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 4:42am<b>thefmlman2011</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 9:11pm<b>duckyd199222</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 6:19am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 1:21am<b>C7</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 9:16pm

tomhofer's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of tomhofer's badges

tomhofer's favorite FMLs

Today, an hour after having been turned down for sex, I walked in on my wife fingering herself to a copy of War and Peace. FML

by Anonymous / 11/25/2012 at 4:34pm / Netherlands (Noord-Brabant) / Intimacy

Today, I was working at the checkout of a nearly empty store, so I picked up an empty box, closed my eyes, and slow-danced with it to the 80s love ballad playing on the radio. I don't know what's worse, dancing with a box, or opening my eyes to see ten or so wary customers waiting to be served. FML

by foreveralone / 11/13/2012 at 5:23am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, my manager made me stay at work for an extra four hours, making me miss an urgent specialist appointment I'd scheduled months ago. Why? Because her neighbor's dog was having puppies, and she wanted to go home early and see them. FML

by whytetrash / 11/02/2012 at 1:53am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, my dad saw on TV that in some parts of Africa, it's not uncommon for people to attach make-shift flamethrowers to their cars to defend against carjackers. He's now lost his mind and is forcing me to help him put one together to scare off Jehovah's Witnesses. FML

by Watchtower? More like fortress. / 10/19/2012 at 5:39pm / Norway (Oslo) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my daughter that she won't be going to her homecoming dance as punishment for her terrible grades. She's been crying and singing "If I Die Young" in her room for hours. At this point, I don't know if I need to call a therapist or a vocal coach. FML

by Anonymous / 10/15/2012 at 12:07am / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, I had to admit that I desperately need anti-anxiety medication. Apparently, when you walk around a grocery store avoiding eye contact and generally acting "sketchy", management will call the police on you, who will then pat you down to be sure you aren't shoplifting. FML

by AnxietyGirl / 09/24/2012 at 3:18am / United States (Colorado) / Health

Today, I was walking down the street when I had a coughing fit. The next thing I know I'm being pushed about by a group of guys who were smoking, because they thought I was coughing deliberately to send them a message about smoking being bad. FML

by Tyler / 09/03/2012 at 5:37am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took a picture of myself seductively eating an apple. I don't know what I'm doing with my life. FML

by Rochelle / 07/25/2012 at 2:14am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad got drunk and played a practical joke on me; a practical joke that resulted in my knee being broken. Now, I'm sitting in a hospital bed all alone while my dad hunts for "hot nurses". FML

by justhelpful / 07/02/2012 at 1:44pm / Austria (Tirol) / Health

Today, the mall got evacuated while I was getting my hair colored. I am now standing outside of a crowded mall, wearing a showercap. FML

by tylah / 06/23/2012 at 11:11am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, when I told my family I was a vegetarian, I expected them to make fun of me because that's just my family. But what I wasn't expecting was my dad to use raw meat as a puppet and make it say, "Eat me! Eat me!" then throw it at my face. FML

by Anonymous / 06/21/2012 at 10:52am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tripped and fell on the sidewalk. As I did, a car that was passing by stopped, made a U-turn, and then came back so the people inside could laugh at me. When they were done taunting me, they made another U-turn and continued back in their original direction. FML

by Anonymous / 06/18/2012 at 10:39am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to sneak out of work to get my daughter from her school. Apparently, she had thought that hurling a bowling ball down the stairs during the lunch hour rush would make her cool. In actual fact, it made her expelled. FML

by Anonymous / 05/30/2012 at 2:47pm / United Kingdom (Vale of Glamorgan, The) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML

by Anonymous / 03/10/2012 at 2:23am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I sent out a text saying "Smile! You're beautiful and don't let anyone tell you otherwise." to most of my contacts. I got one reply, from my best friend, saying, "Are you fucking stupid?" FML

by dis_bee_leaf / 02/13/2012 at 11:27am / Canada / Miscellaneous