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toalysium

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toalysium
  • Town/Country : Texas, US
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 23 June 1983 (30 years)
  • Number of visits : 749
  • Number of comments : 127
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About toalysium : Just here to revel in others' misery. It's particularly awesome when it's caused by their own stupidity. I wish there was a "You suck at life." option for voting.

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toalysium's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of toalysium's badges

toalysium's favorite FMLs

Today, I introduced my Chinese-born girlfriend to the rest of the family. My uncle immediately blurted out, "He's dating a communist." FML

#18242988
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30243) - you deserved it (4080)

On 11/14/2011 at 12:23am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I finished a very important but annoying presentation that took four hours to complete. Only after writing a paragraph to explain the presentation and sending it to my boss did I realize that I saved the document as "Shit I have to do to get a promotion." FML

#18231005
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9927) - you deserved it (37088)

On 11/12/2011 at 7:36pm - work - by TTR (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was watching wrestling videos on YouTube, when my little brother walked in. Later, my little brother told my parents that I was watching naked men on my computer. They won't stop thinking that I was watching gay porn. FML

#18226728
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26929) - you deserved it (6448)

On 11/12/2011 at 9:19am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was watching wrestling videos on YouTube, when my little brother walked in. Later, my little brother told my parents that I was watching naked men on my computer. They won't stop thinking that I was watching gay porn. FML

#18226728
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26929) - you deserved it (6448)

On 11/12/2011 at 9:19am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend agreed to doing it doggy style. During it all, I pulled on her hair. I guess I pulled too hard, because when I let go, her face smacked straight into the bedside table. FML

#18220908
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11537) - you deserved it (39189)

On 11/11/2011 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by Henry - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I dined and dashed. Upon reaching my car, I realized I had left my seven year-old daughter in the restaurant. FML

#18217676
372 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7032) - you deserved it (98284)

On 11/11/2011 at 10:17am - kids - by embarrassed - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came home from school, only to find I was locked out. The cars were all there, but no one was in. It wasn't until I heard continuous banging from my parents' window that it clicked. They locked me out for over an hour in freezing weather just to have sex. FML

#18138083
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34703) - you deserved it (3854)

On 11/02/2011 at 12:37pm - intimacy - by miley098 - United Kingdom (London)

Today, after 3 years, I saw my ex, who I still love, at a coffee shop. Being nice, I said hi. He turned around, looked at me, and said, "Thank God I broke up with you. You look like a hot mess!" before getting up and walking out with his model girlfriend. FML

#18137857
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37615) - you deserved it (4995)

On 11/02/2011 at 12:01pm - love - by brie - United States (California)

Today, I went grocery shopping. Being a bartender, I had a huge wad of dollar bills from cash tips. As I was counting them at the register, I looked at the cashier and joked, "You probably think I'm a stripper or something." He looked me up and down and said, "Uh... hell no." FML

#18129165
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21541) - you deserved it (20510)

On 11/01/2011 at 1:52pm - misc - by bakedplum (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, it's my first Halloween in America since moving from Russia. While handing candy to children, my roommate told me to compliment a little girl by saying "You have a face only a parent could love". I found out it isn't a compliment when I was punched by her Dad. FML

#18123413
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31433) - you deserved it (4542)

On 10/31/2011 at 8:18pm - kids - by VladyBoi (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was almost out of conditioner, despite having just bought some. Apparently, my boyfriend has been using it to condition his pubes. He thinks doing this will make me want to give him more blowjobs. FML

#18123104
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27424) - you deserved it (4693)

On 10/31/2011 at 7:29pm - intimacy - by silkysmooth (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I turned in an overdue English assignment at college. My instructor accused me of plagiarism, writing that my sentence structure was "TO" good. Seriously? FML

#18119295
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26798) - you deserved it (2979)

On 10/31/2011 at 6:09am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Peterborough)

Today, I went to my husband's work to give him lunch. His assistant told me his "wife" was in his office. FML

#18108798
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43179) - you deserved it (2453)

On 10/30/2011 at 2:32am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend clearly stated that I was "useless" when on my period. FML

#18108138
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28958) - you deserved it (6905)

On 10/30/2011 at 1:02am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was getting out of the shower, when my boyfriend decided to ask, "Did your boobs get smaller, or did you just gain weight around them?" FML

#18089011
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34596) - you deserved it (4367)

On 10/27/2011 at 2:56pm - intimacy - by The fat and the ugly (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)



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