toalysium

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Offline (the 08/18/2014 at 5:55am)

toalysium

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 23 June 1983 (32 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2038
  • Number of comments : 127
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About toalysium : Just here to revel in others' misery. It's particularly awesome when it's caused by their own stupidity. I wish there was a "You suck at life." option for voting.

toalysium's page activity

Visits<b>stricker30</b> - the 04/05/2016 at 7:05pm<b>GAeroNKissR</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 9:26pm<b>theswanlake</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 12:25pm<b>myexactname</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 8:14am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 3:05pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 11:45am<b>JoshArson</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 5:10am<b>TEZZ</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 3:31pm<b>Lindsey_Marie</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 4:35pm<b>awkwardloveannie</b> - the 11/10/2013 at 12:34pm<b>vegasked</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 11:04pm<b>hunteryager</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 9:39am<b>ArsalanBTRfan</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 7:36am<b>legendofizzy</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 7:00am<b>Apretendbiscuit</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 5:57am<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 12:25am<b>vlalam</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 11:32pm<b>arrrrrlennie</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 10:13pm

Fucked!<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 9:05pm

toalysium's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of toalysium's badges

toalysium's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad finally met my girlfriend. Unfortunately, he was driving the ambulance that she was in, due to severe alcohol poisoning and was on the way to the hospital to have her stomach pumped. FML

by screwed / 02/07/2012 at 8:40pm / United States (Connecticut) / Health

Today, I was dumped. My boyfriend was too afraid to break up with me, so he sent the girl he cheated on me with. FML

by Nanabanana1 / 02/06/2012 at 8:23pm / United States / Love

Today, I asked my professor what happened to the assignment I gave him several weeks ago. Turns out he lost it, and graded me zero as a result. Now if I want a mark, he says I'll have to hand-write it all over again, but that I "probably shouldn't bother," because it was "a bit shit, really." FML

by Anonymous / 02/06/2012 at 4:10pm / United States (Idaho) / Miscellaneous

Today, I picked up a prostitute. The prostitute was my sister, and I picked her up from jail. FML

by Anonymous / 02/01/2012 at 10:01am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend gave me twelve roses and told me that he would love me until the last one dies. Remembering the Facebook like, I began looking for the fake one but couldn't find it. When I pointed out that all twelve were real and would die within days, he responded, "Exactly." FML

by Shelly P. / 01/28/2012 at 7:10pm / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, my kids tried to make grilled cheese by turning the toaster sideways. When all was done, it all flew out onto the kitchen floor. Both my kids and my husband left the mess there for me to clean up when I got home. FML

by Anonymous / 01/23/2012 at 5:07pm / United States / Kids

Today, my boyfriend referred to his penis as 'The Eye of Sauron'. It didn't help when he pulled down his foreskin, pointed it in my direction and said 'I see you'. FML

by anon / 01/18/2012 at 1:29pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, after having a naked wrestle with my boyfriend, I discovered he'd left a skidmark on my stomach. FML

by Crashburn / 01/16/2012 at 6:09am / United Kingdom (Sheffield) / Love

Today, I was walking to the bus stop when someone slapped an innocent person in the face with a fish. I was that innocent person. FML

by lolwtfbbq444 / 01/15/2012 at 5:24am / Australia / Miscellaneous

Today, my crush grabbed my butt while I was walking up the stairs. In surprise I farted. He won't even look me in the eyes now. FML

by anonymous / 01/15/2012 at 12:58am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my sister sitting on the toilet, trying to use "The Force" to pull over the toilet paper roll sitting on the sink. FML

by 2gewd4u / 01/14/2012 at 8:24pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend told me that he feels empty inside when I'm not in the kitchen. This is the most romantic thing he has said to me in the past two years. FML

by iheartmorons / 01/14/2012 at 9:31am / United Kingdom (London) / Love

Today, I got my period at school. I didn't notice until a boy asked me if I'd killed someone in my pants. FML

by shitttyyyday / 01/14/2012 at 2:47am / United States / Health

Today, my boyfriend stated that we should play a game where one person asks the other a question, and they answer it with a picture. I thought it sounded fun so I said yes. His first question was, "Do you shave your vagina?" FML

by haggisbowl / 01/14/2012 at 1:52am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML

by omgwhyme / 01/08/2012 at 9:36am / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy