About toalysium : Just here to revel in others' misery. It's particularly awesome when it's caused by their own stupidity. I wish there was a "You suck at life." option for voting.
toalysium's FML badges
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
toalysium's favorite FMLs
Today, I started my brand new job. I was late because while repairing my favorite pair of high heels, I got superglue in my eye. They had to scrape my cornea and I have to wear an eye patch. I'm now the "new pirate" in the office. FML
by Anonymous / 04/04/2012 at 9:41pm / United States (Georgia) / Work
by Jeff make / 04/01/2012 at 10:03am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
by a / 03/29/2012 at 11:19am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML
by Brian / 03/17/2012 at 10:32pm / United States (Washington) / Love
Today, I had a nasty cough, but I went to college anyway. When I walked into class, I could practically smell menstrual blood in the air. After a few coughs, our instructor gave me an "Oh, shut up!" After half an hour, she kicked me out for not "taking the class seriously". FML
by danny5191 / 03/16/2012 at 10:21pm / United Kingdom (Southampton) / Health
by mel_bear_ / 03/14/2012 at 10:38am / United Kingdom (Reading) / Love
by Tristansefam1367 / 03/12/2012 at 9:11am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, I called my wife from work to check in on her because she's eight months pregnant. She didn't answer. Instead she showed up at my work hysterically crying and screaming, "You don't love me because I'm a fat whale!" She then knocked everything off my desk. FML
by Tristan Brantley / 03/11/2012 at 3:36am / United States (California) / Love
by Major3 / 03/10/2012 at 9:16pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by starboy / 03/10/2012 at 1:50am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by FootyFoot / 03/06/2012 at 6:50am / Australia (South Australia) / Health
Today, my friend told me how she crept out last night to hook up with her boyfriend. At one point, she said she "snack" out, so I corrected her by saying it's "snuck". My boyfriend snorted, showed us in a dictionary that it's actually "sneaked" and called us "fucking idiots". FML
by argh / 03/02/2012 at 7:14pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
by Ashleigh / 03/02/2012 at 5:53pm / Australia / Miscellaneous
by eeelise5296 / 03/01/2012 at 3:39pm / United States (Arizona) / Love
by unknown / 02/27/2012 at 12:42pm / United States / Love
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…