tmbfan

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Offline (the 07/13/2015 at 3:08pm)

tmbfan

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 540
  • Number of comments : 31
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About tmbfan : Well, this is my profile. I check this app twice a day so if you message me expect a reply in a couple days.

tmbfan's page activity

Visits<b>BonerFart</b> - the 03/26/2016 at 10:47am<b>LPac5295</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 9:35am<b>EverestMelting</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 7:35pm<b>thetancarkid</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 8:04pm<b>pureportedpear</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 9:20am<b>i_love_him_</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 8:06pm<b>azelk</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 2:58pm<b>Welgemoed</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 8:05pm<b>Petrichor</b> - the 04/12/2013 at 5:11pm<b>DeidaraAkatsuki</b> - the 04/11/2013 at 3:12pm<b>JokerJim2013</b> - the 04/10/2013 at 2:55pm<b>Mr116</b> - the 04/10/2013 at 5:41am<b>im_joking</b> - the 04/09/2013 at 6:21pm<b>dizzy555</b> - the 03/29/2013 at 11:35pm<b>zelda1975</b> - the 03/29/2013 at 9:19pm<b>AnonForAReason</b> - the 03/29/2013 at 4:53pm<b>nerdtron430</b> - the 03/29/2013 at 4:53pm<b>its_karma</b> - the 03/29/2013 at 4:32pm

tmbfan's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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tmbfan's favorite FMLs

Today, I watched my neighbor shake cat food calling, "Come here Mollie" at his back door. I then saw my own cat run into his house. I now know why my cat is so fat and never replies to me calling her Bonnie. I guess I'm being cheated on. FML

by kitty / 11/11/2012 at 5:10am / Australia / Animals

Today, I was cooking something I knew would make a lot of smoke, so I asked my teenage daughter to tape a bag over the smoke detector. She said she did, so I cooked; the alarm went off and firemen came. She hadn't taped over the smoke detector, she'd taped it over the doorbell. FML

by Anonymous / 10/08/2012 at 1:31am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity. I sarcastically replied that I'm still a virgin. She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder you're so uptight. You need to get laid, mom." FML

by TheVirginJenny / 10/06/2012 at 8:05pm / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, my teacher's comments on my essay read, "I know it's college, but you use a lot of unnecessary words with a lot of syllables." He basically scolded me for having a complex vocabulary. I go to an accredited state university. Nothing says "America" like under-achieving professors. FML

by Anonymous / 10/03/2012 at 7:00pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, my mom revealed to me that when I was in Preschool, I used to get caught in the bathroom with little boys while I was feeling their "no no" area. I was giving hand jobs to boys before I could read. FML

by Anonymous / 12/15/2009 at 9:20pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, some thug tried to mug me. I panicked and ran. As they chased me with their knife out, I heard a slip and a shout behind me but kept running. Six blocks later I was spotted, arrested and held for questioning by the police. The mugger fell, stabbed themselves and told a cop that I did it. FML

by BobbyHutchinson / 10/20/2009 at 11:57am / Australia (South Australia) / Miscellaneous

Today, it's my 18th birthday. My parents got me a $5 gift certificate to iTunes. It came for free with the iPhone they just bought my sister for her middle school graduation. FML

by happybirthday / 03/24/2009 at 5:15pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother and I walked past my boyfriend, whom she's never met. After we casually greeted each other and went on our way my mother says, "He's cute. Who is he?" I paused for a second and replied, "That's my boyfriend." She then asks, "Does he know that?" FML

by ThanksMa / 03/22/2009 at 3:45pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I texted my boyfriend saying "Hi." His response: "I got your best friend pregnant". FML

by bittersweet / 02/07/2009 at 10:08pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML

by caroline / 02/06/2009 at 10:29am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy