tjanes

Search for a member

Offline (the 04/25/2016 at 3:20am)

tjanes

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 2 January 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3375
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

tjanes's page activity

Visits<b>Kitteh8601</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 12:17pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 1:48pm<b>whatahatuis</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 11:39am<b>ugalde976</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 8:30am<b>Eleora</b> - the 02/23/2016 at 11:12pm<b>Sierra120</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 11:12am<b>HumanitysFinest</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 12:15pm<b>mf727hihi</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 4:00am<b>totallylovet</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 12:11am<b>Nathion</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 1:00pm<b>Westside2156</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 8:02pm<b>hockeyy27</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 5:29am<b>ironhead</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 10:22pm<b>ProximityToDeath</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 2:47pm<b>horseh</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 9:56pm<b>Andrewski12</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 9:48am<b>TypicalDaniela</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 8:08pm<b>JuliaaNoelle</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 7:34pm

Fucked!<b>Kitteh8601</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 6:17pm<b>horseh</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 3:56am

tjanes's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of tjanes's badges

tjanes's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend "finally figured out" that he couldn't possibly be the father of my child, and publicly broke up with me. When I reminded him that I was already pregnant when we first met, he "extra" broke up with me for making him look stupid. FML

by Anonymous / 05/30/2013 at 11:28pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, my extremely religious father visited for a family dinner. My daughter had just one job: not to set him off on one of his easily-provoked rants. She nonetheless decided to take a photo in the middle of prayer, because she just HAD to Instagram her food. My father went apeshit. FML

by Anonymous / 05/24/2013 at 12:40pm / Brazil (Rio de Janeiro) / Kids

Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML

by Anonymous / 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I listened to my elderly bachelor neighbor moan, "Oh, kitty, kitty, kitty! Oh kitty!" for over half-an-hour before he wandered out on his balcony in wet, tight white underwear to water his plant. This is the fifth time this week, and I still don't know what on earth he's doing. FML

by Anonymous / 05/20/2013 at 11:56am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, the weather was beautiful, so I decided to go out skating. I guess I took a wrong turn into a bad neighborhood, because I ended up being chased several blocks by a group of jacked-up thugs wielding baseball bats and taunting, "Skate or die, homie!" FML

by Anonymous / 05/19/2013 at 4:33pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She's perfect in every way, except for her birth mark. It's under the corner of her left eye and looks almost exactly like a prison teardrop tattoo. FML

by Anonymous / 05/19/2013 at 2:33pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids

Today, I was in a big Skype chat, which somehow turned into a heated argument. My friend lost it, typed "your stupid" and called me a "looser." When I pointed out the irony of his messages, he rage-quit, drove all the way to my house, and punched me in the face at the door. FML

by -1 friend / 05/17/2013 at 5:16pm / United States (Florida) / Health

Today, I went to the dentist to get a tooth filled. The nurse just finished taking my info when the doctor came in and started drilling. Through my chorus of screams he realized he'd forgotten to numb me. His only response was, "Guess I forgot to numb ya, huh?" while giggling. FML

by toothache / 05/14/2013 at 8:03am / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, I found out I'm actually the uncle of my children. All four of them. FML

by Liferuinedforever / 05/14/2013 at 3:13am / Pakistan (Sindh) / Kids

Today, I walked in on my son trying to carve a bong out of a watermelon. FML

by What the fuck, son? / 05/11/2013 at 12:21pm / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Kids

Today, I happily told my parents that my boyfriend proposed to me last night. My dad's response? "Marry that goofy bastard and you're out of the will." FML

by Anonymous / 05/10/2013 at 7:16pm / Switzerland (Sankt Gallen) / Love

Today, I tried lying to my parents for the first time. My mother is a neuroscientist and my father is a psychologist. Somehow, they managed to make me admit that I was lying before I'd even finished. FML

by blondie107 / 05/06/2013 at 8:52pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML

by SkeetinKeaton / 05/06/2013 at 2:29am / United States / Kids

Today, my 6-year-old daughter walked into the bathroom where I was grumbling about my weight. Seeing how upset I was, she took my hand and said, "Mom, you're not fat. You just look fat." FML

by me / 05/05/2013 at 8:56pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML

by emasculated 10000% / 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm / Sweden (Kronobergs Lan) / Miscellaneous