tjanes

Search for a member

Offline (the 04/25/2016 at 3:20am)

tjanes

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 2 January 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3382
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

tjanes's page activity

Visits<b>Kitteh8601</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 12:17pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 1:48pm<b>whatahatuis</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 11:39am<b>ugalde976</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 8:30am<b>Eleora</b> - the 02/23/2016 at 11:12pm<b>Sierra120</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 11:12am<b>HumanitysFinest</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 12:15pm<b>mf727hihi</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 4:00am<b>totallylovet</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 12:11am<b>Nathion</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 1:00pm<b>Westside2156</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 8:02pm<b>hockeyy27</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 5:29am<b>ironhead</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 10:22pm<b>ProximityToDeath</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 2:47pm<b>horseh</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 9:56pm<b>Andrewski12</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 9:48am<b>TypicalDaniela</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 8:08pm<b>JuliaaNoelle</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 7:34pm

Fucked!<b>Kitteh8601</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 6:17pm<b>horseh</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 3:56am

tjanes's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of tjanes's badges

tjanes's favorite FMLs

Today, while driving home, my 3-year-old daughter told me she had to poop. I told her that she would have to wait until we got home. When we got home, she pulled down her pants and shat on the floor, because, "I'm home now." FML

by mom / 01/25/2014 at 11:29pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I joked with a pregnant girl in a state juvenile correctional facility where I work that eating a lot of candy would damage the unborn baby's teeth. Without batting an eye, she responded that she would simply "eat some toothpaste after the candy." FML

by polluxdc / 01/10/2014 at 3:20am / United States (Oregon) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was at work alone with a stomach bug. For some reason, our bathroom was out of toilet paper, so I had to quickly run to the nearest store to buy more, only to shit my pants midway there. I'm pretty sure the cashier knew exactly what had happened. FML

by Anonymous / 12/31/2013 at 1:22pm / United States (Alabama) / Work

Today, I went to a party organised by my ex. I was the last to sit down, after looking at the nametags on all 50+ chairs. That's how I realised the chair labelled "Fuckface" was mine; the one located between her parents' seats. FML

by Puick / 12/26/2013 at 6:50pm / France (Centre) / Miscellaneous

Today, I announced my pregnancy to my husband. He responded with, "Well shit, when do these faucets turn on?" and started honking my boobs. FML

by Anonymous / 12/26/2013 at 12:27pm / United States (Alabama) / Love

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I guess she got bored because she started looking at her nails. FML

by anon / 12/21/2013 at 9:13am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my 13-year-old daughter excitedly told me about a new diet she read about online. Apparently, the diet entirely consists of bottled water and a mixture of food coloring. The food coloring "takes care of all that vitamin and mineral stuff." My daughter is an idiot. FML

by Nofoodcoloringisnotasubstituteforfood / 12/09/2013 at 12:52am / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

by OakStake / 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I was chatting with my mother. She was telling me about some new mouthwash she recently got, and the moment the word "gargle" escaped her lips, my husband muttered just a little too loudly from the kitchen, "How about gargling my balls instead, bitch." Our family is now at war. FML

by Anonymous / 12/08/2013 at 3:39pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was proud when I started a confrontation with my best friend's brother because he is a sexist pig who treats women like crap. Six hours later my pride was gone: I made him an after-sex sandwich. FML

by Ashamed_Sister / 11/30/2013 at 2:35am / Namibia (Windhoek) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I forgot I left my tampons in a grocery bag packed with food that I put into the fridge. I realized two hours later while frantically looking for a tampon. I'm still cold down there. FML

by InsertPopcicle / 11/22/2013 at 1:53am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned that no matter how much of a nerd a girl claims to be, she is not ready for you to speak Klingon during sex. FML

by Anonymous / 11/19/2013 at 10:42pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my cat has figured out that while I'm good at sleeping through her nagging in the early morning hours, I will unfailingly wake up for my baby. FML

by kittyboo_is_me / 11/19/2013 at 1:59am / Slovenia (Maribor) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try flavored condoms. I guess I enjoyed them a little too much; I almost choked half to death on a strawberry cockcicle. FML

by flavored / 11/18/2013 at 10:26am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I watched as my grandma beat the shit out of my dad at the zoo. FML

by Grandson / 11/07/2013 at 12:52am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous