tique22

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Offline (the 10/29/2014 at 8:21pm)

tique22

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 745
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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tique22's page activity

Visits<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 9:54am<b>TaylorWhiteGirl</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 8:11pm<b>aa1717</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 5:44pm<b>harrypotter955</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 5:05pm<b>tellyc</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 8:46pm<b>michaelf461</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 11:04pm<b>Rayvinblade</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 10:47am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 10:10pm<b>AlliTheKat</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 10:26pm<b>91hayek</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 8:43pm<b>brittanyx00</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 10:51pm<b>nygyrfan</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 10:20pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 10:05pm<b>RicanDucky</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 3:29pm<b>xiax</b> - the 10/07/2013 at 11:25pm

tique22's FML badges

Judgmental

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You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Profile completed

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tique22's favorite FMLs

Today, while discussing career prospects with my mom, she suggested that I become a penis puppeteer, because "Let's face it, you play with it 24/7. Why not make a career out of it?" Yeah, thanks. FML

by kaynotentirelywrong / 08/15/2013 at 12:49pm / Canada (Quebec) / Work

Today, my friends thought it would be fun to change my dad's name on my phone to my girlfriend's name. Guess who got an erotic text message when standing next to me while in the line to buy groceries. FML

by AnnoyedByFriends / 08/08/2013 at 12:43am / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend wanted to try something new in the bedroom, so she got an assortment of different sized cock rings. She laughed when the one we were trying to use kept falling off, and said to try a smaller one. It was the smallest in the set. FML

by microlovin / 07/28/2013 at 3:45am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I got a call from the police. Apparently my son tried robbing a teenage couple, but wound up getting his ass beat by both of them. I don't know what's worse, that my 32-year-old son is a criminal, or that he got it handed to him by 15-year-olds. FML

by Parentalfailure / 07/22/2013 at 5:06pm / United States (North Carolina) / Kids

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2013 at 3:10am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I had a job interview at the local donut shop. It turns out I misunderstood the position, and that the job was actually to wear a donut costume and wave at cars outside the shop. I was told this after I got hired. FML

by sdeeter / 04/29/2013 at 9:39am / United States / Work

Today, I found out that Yale had actually accepted me seventeen years ago. My mother apparently burned my acceptance package and letters because she didn't want me to upstage her UChicago degree. FML

by OPhere / 04/15/2013 at 3:37am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went to my daughter's room with clean laundry. I found her lying on her bed with a hand down her pants, totally zoned out and staring blankly at the Justin Bieber poster on her wall. FML

by parental failure / 03/03/2013 at 12:03pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was babysitting a six year old girl, when I saw a huge spider on the wall. I screamed and told her to stay back. Instead, she walked up to the spider, squished it, and told me to stop being such a baby. FML

by Anonymous / 09/30/2012 at 1:57pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Kids

Today, I was at work, photographing a baby boy. I grabbed a bench for him to use to hold himself upright. His mom asked if she should hold him instead, but I told her he'd be fine. Two seconds later, he fell backwards and brought the bench down on top of him. There goes my job. FML

by almost jobless / 07/11/2012 at 2:26pm / United States / Work

Today, my turtle, who had a little portion of the garden all to herself, died. My 5-year-old nephew wanted to "be like Mario" by jumping on her. FML

by Grindyloo / 05/05/2012 at 6:06am / Kids

Today, I had to explain to my friend that the world did not used to be black and white. It was just the pictures that were. She still doesn't believe me. She's eighteen. FML

by CierraJordan / 03/14/2012 at 7:31am / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was so broke and hungry that I went to Olive Garden and faked being stood up, just so I could eat their breadsticks. FML

by 97 / 02/17/2012 at 4:10pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I got pulled over. When the cop asked where I was coming from, reflexively I said, "Your mom's house." FML

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because, I "always wear that stupid little hat." I'm Jewish. FML

by Kevin / 02/13/2012 at 1:00am / United States / Love