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tinyrosie's favorite FMLs
by Dartfrogger / 02/12/2015 at 2:16pm / United States (Utah) / Health
by Anonymous / 01/19/2015 at 12:17pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I psyched myself up and headed out to a really promising job interview. I was sure I was going to nail it and get my first job. That is, until a bird shat on my head on my way there. Thank you so very much, universe. FML
by sadlrana121 / 01/10/2015 at 5:46pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Work
Today, I spent hours cooking an amazing dinner for my family, who had just gotten home from a trip, so we could spend some time together because I'd started to miss everyone. When they got home, they saw it all laid out and just took plates to their room, without even telling me they were home. FML
by anon / 01/05/2015 at 7:15pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, at the fast food joint I work at, I had to climb into the children's play area and chase out two horny teens who thought it was an appropriate place to stick their hands down each other's pants and fool around. I don't get paid enough for this shit. FML
by quickit / 12/05/2014 at 12:14pm / United States (New York) / Work
Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML
by Anonymous / 08/20/2014 at 5:03pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by goingtothegym / 12/08/2013 at 8:16pm / United States (California) / Health
by emirie / 11/14/2013 at 4:33pm / Russian Federation (Saint Petersburg City) / Kids
Today, everything that was beautiful and pure in my life turned into a terrible, warped version of what it once was. Today, I lost all hope and no longer believe that life, although sometimes shitty, is sweet and worth living. Today, I met my mother-in-law. FML
by Anonymous / 11/07/2013 at 5:21pm / United Kingdom (Derry) / Miscellaneous
Today, I failed on a school presentation because I was not prepared. Apparently, the fact that my computer crapped itself and started giving off smoke last period isn't a good reason for not having my presentation prepared. FML
by pissedandcomputerless / 11/07/2013 at 1:42pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was pouring boiling water into a cup, and I accidentally spilled it all over my hand. My mother responded by slapping me for getting water everywhere. My hand is scorched red, but thanks, I love you too, mother. FML
by Anonymous / 11/07/2013 at 12:12pm / Ireland / Health
Today, I finally worked up enough courage to ask out the guy I've had a crush on for months. I texted him, and he thought I was Maddy from work, not Maddie his neighbor. Now he and the Maddy from his work are dating. FML
by :/ / 11/04/2013 at 5:27pm / United States (Georgia) / Love
by WinkleBottom / 11/04/2013 at 5:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was telling my friends a story. I added a few "embellishments" to make it more intense. One my friends piped up with, "I was with you, half of what you just said wasn't true". It's now all over Facebook and I'm known as "The Bullshitter". FML
by Anonymous / 11/04/2013 at 6:39am / Miscellaneous
Today, my dad came into my room, looked at my laptop, and said he could hear the porn I was watching all the way from his room. I wasn't watching porn. We soon realised it was actually coming from his mobile phone. FML
by Anonymous / 10/21/2013 at 3:07pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy