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timotay89

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timotay89

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 970
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About timotay89 : Favorite TV show is Doctor Who.

timotay89's page activity

Visits<b>els2010</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 6:45am<b>hippodankamus</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 11:19am<b>Christine_Junmin</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 12:11pm<b>manlytarts</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 9:48am<b>boobear511</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 3:01pm<b>PicanteSeed</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 7:55am<b>wookieewhosshe</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 6:13pm<b>brookenicolee29</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 3:38pm<b>LilDuck17</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 2:12pm<b>animalover9</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 12:57pm<b>Prerogative</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 12:19pm<b>brittkelly</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 7:22pm<b>AngelOf_Darkness</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 5:04pm<b>Jessica0928</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 8:16am<b>chrissapp</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 5:30pm<b>macncheeze97</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 10:15am<b>cutiegirl12326</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 5:47pm<b>wowwzaa</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 2:31pm

Liked!<b>Christine_Junmin</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 6:11pm

timotay89's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of timotay89's badges

timotay89's favorite FMLs

Today, I went on Facebook. The third post down was a selfie of my mom looking sad, with the caption, "God I need a good dicking." real FML

#21218442
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51289) - you deserved it (11847)

On 07/23/2014 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I naild every single move in mah routine at a gymnastics competition. I then finishd off with a perfect split, letting out a fart loud enough to wake up a kid in China. FML

#19928978
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33480) - you deserved it (2852)

On 07/12/2012 at 4:35pm - misc - by LetItRip - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

Today, while I was driving home, some jackas in an open-top sport car overtook us an flippd me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife looool rolld down her window, pulld out her tampon, an launchd it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrifid: me or him. FML

#19793582
405 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37400) - you deserved it (4026)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, while I was driving home, some jackas in an open-top sport car overtook us an flippd me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife looool rolld down her window, pulld out her tampon, an launchd it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrifid: me or him. FML

#19793582
405 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37400) - you deserved it (4026)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, my girlfriend hated the idea of sex so much she was willing to give me money 4 a stripper. FML

#18693659
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34088) - you deserved it (5287)

On 01/03/2012 at 2:17am - intimacy - by Cpt Colin (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend bought me a gorgeous ring that I fell in love with. As he slid the ring on my finger 4 the frst time, he startd moving it up and down my finger and making loud sex sounds, completely ruining the romantic moment. FML

Today, my girlfriend an I were playfully arguing about wo loved te oter more. After about a minute of tis, my girlfriend walked over an kicked me in te crotc as ard as se could. Se ten said, "Tere, now you don't love me as muc. I win." FML

#15539670
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47917) - you deserved it (15835)

On 03/28/2011 at 11:33pm - love - by ouch - United States (Arizona)

Today, mah girlfriend was going down on me, when I hered mah dog start growling. He must have thought mah girlfriend was hurting me, because out of nowhere and before I could do anything, he attacked her. FML

#14675565
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30157) - you deserved it (5082)

On 01/22/2011 at 4:24pm - intimacy - by ohsnap (man) - United States (New York)

Today... I droppd ma iPod Touc underneat concrete slab steps... an it's pysically impossible to get it back. If you stand above were te iPod is... you can still ear it play music. It's like it's mocking me. FML

#13132035
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33955) - you deserved it (6264)

On 09/20/2010 at 7:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, te Jeova's Witnesses were at ma door. Normally I don't give tem te time of day, but I was so lonely fir company, I let tem in. FML

#9812049
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26931) - you deserved it (6849)

On 04/11/2010 at 8:27pm - misc - by lonely (woman) - United States (California)

my boyfriend decided to name his penis "Jesus". For the last two hours he's been continuously asking if looool I "want to be touched by Jesus" or will I "let Jesus in to spread his warmth." FML

#8119072
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20567) - you deserved it (4723)

On 02/11/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by syl - Canada (Alberta)

Today, mah boyfriend informd me that in the event of a zombie apocalypse, he'd kill me before I got infectd!! big fat FML

#7870282
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26582) - you deserved it (7323)

On 02/04/2010 at 3:29am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

today I was talking this pretty religious grl that I like . We were playing a game and I asked her if she could go back in history and meet anyoneho would it be . She said Jesus . Without thinking I said "I mean someone that was real." FML

#7556761
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16746) - you deserved it (41875)

On 01/24/2010 at 10:31pm - misc - by Ben (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, after aving sexual intercourse wit my boyfriend, we went downstairs to fine is parents ad come ome early and ad eard everyting. I ten received a long scolding from is moter of ow I'd disrespected er ouse. My boyfriend received a ig-five and a tumbs-up from is dad. FML

#7204414
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21844) - you deserved it (4567)

On 01/07/2010 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by oopsies (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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