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timotay's favorite FMLs
Today, I walked in on my 14-year-old daughter holding a lit lighter to the underside of a spoon, which was full of baking powder. She was trying to breathe in the fumes to get high, and later confessed that she thought it's how heroin is made and used. FML
by Anonymous / 09/13/2013 at 5:40pm / United Kingdom / Kids
by Kaka_Karrot_Kake / 09/13/2013 at 9:49am / United States (Texas) / Money
Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around like a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML
by ellen77 / 09/13/2013 at 1:55am / United States (California) / Work
by spiritbeast33 / 09/11/2013 at 2:17am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by vrossie_ / 09/08/2013 at 1:56am / United States / Miscellaneous
by random / 05/13/2013 at 11:06am / United States / Animals
Today, I finished a 50 page term end thesis essay on the history of Russia. Looking over the final requirements once more, I find I made just a tiny little mistake. It was supposed to be a thesis on "Prussia". The paper's due tomorrow. FML
by WTFFAIL / 12/03/2009 at 4:08am / United States (New York) / Work
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- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…
- Today, I was talking to my best friend. After admitting to me that he's gay, I gave him a hug for… Today, I am going to take a law school test. My Mom told me to relax, so I told her, "I'm better at… Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be cute to put his penis through a doughnut and try to make me eat…