timotay

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timotay

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 17 July 1984 (32 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 504
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About timotay : I am Timotay.

timotay's page activity

Visits<b>legoman213579</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 7:58pm<b>ilikeirony</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 8:05am<b>TorturedXeno</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 5:48pm<b>Catkam623</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 12:31am<b>WannabeeWinnee</b> - the 12/18/2013 at 11:39am<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 4:36pm<b>TourettesGuyFTW</b> - the 11/23/2013 at 9:06am<b>grogers311</b> - the 11/21/2013 at 12:23pm<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 11/20/2013 at 4:40pm<b>Borngemini77</b> - the 11/15/2013 at 7:04am<b>cnparks1990</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 8:07pm<b>15Erik</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 12:40am<b>xo_mychem_ox</b> - the 10/16/2013 at 11:32pm<b>swarm20</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 10:09pm<b>DingoCJ</b> - the 10/09/2013 at 12:02pm<b>loriprieto</b> - the 10/05/2013 at 4:09pm<b>jadeluv</b> - the 10/02/2013 at 5:45pm<b>the_untouchables</b> - the 09/24/2013 at 9:16pm

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timotay's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked in on my 14-year-old daughter holding a lit lighter to the underside of a spoon, which was full of baking powder. She was trying to breathe in the fumes to get high, and later confessed that she thought it's how heroin is made and used. FML

by Anonymous / 09/13/2013 at 5:40pm / United Kingdom / Kids

Today, I was walking down the street when a "homeless" man asked for money. I gave him a dollar and he got up and called his friend on an iPhone. FML

by Kaka_Karrot_Kake / 09/13/2013 at 9:49am / United States (Texas) / Money

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around like a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML

by ellen77 / 09/13/2013 at 1:55am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I came out of the closet. Now whenever I'm getting ready to go somewhere with my dad he says, "Lesgo, lesbo." FML

by spiritbeast33 / 09/11/2013 at 2:17am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom was sharing the story of how I was born with the umbilical cord around my neck. My sister added that it was God's first attempt to kill me off. FML

Today, I visited my grandparents at their farm. When I went to pee in the outhouse, I noticed a round thing in the middle of the hole, so I peed on it. It was a beehive. FML

by random / 05/13/2013 at 11:06am / United States / Animals

Today, I finished a 50 page term end thesis essay on the history of Russia. Looking over the final requirements once more, I find I made just a tiny little mistake. It was supposed to be a thesis on "Prussia". The paper's due tomorrow. FML

by WTFFAIL / 12/03/2009 at 4:08am / United States (New York) / Work