Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

thrAsHeRr9081

Search for a member

thrAsHeRr9081
  • Town/Country : Cape Girardeau, MO, United States
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Sunday 30 September 1990 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 2743
  • Number of comments : 457
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About thrAsHeRr9081 : NOTHING IS TRUE; EVERYTHING IS PERMITTED.I'm from Las Vegas, but have been living in Cape since 2009. I am an aspiring assassin that deals drugs legally for a living and I'm going to school to teach school. I married the llama of my dreams on September 29, 2012 and we have a zoo in our house. My 2 1/2 year old African Grey is more intelligent than you. My dog is just flat out better. YouTube.com/thrasher9081

thrAsHeRr9081's last visitors

Garrett2818Drag0nb0rnLadyQuantum7Kinkykim99lambdafenellaisacuteswick25

thrAsHeRr9081's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

See all of thrAsHeRr9081's badges

thrAsHeRr9081's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that my father has taken my copy of Modern Warfare 3, and re-wrapped it as a Christmas present. FML

#18569912
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22756) - you deserved it (2826)

On 12/21/2011 at 12:39pm - misc - by tacoboy27 - United States (California)

Today, after 5 years of no intimate, sexual contact with a woman, I finally got my chance. Unfortunately, I also discovered that I have full-on erectile dysfunction. I'm 23 years old. FML

#18491546
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34068) - you deserved it (3314)

On 12/12/2011 at 1:23am - intimacy - by brokedick (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, after 5 years of no intimate, sexual contact with a woman, I finally got my chance. Unfortunately, I also discovered that I have full-on erectile dysfunction. I'm 23 years old. FML

#18491546
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34068) - you deserved it (3314)

On 12/12/2011 at 1:23am - intimacy - by brokedick (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, saying we're too different. His only example? He likes ham and I don't. FML

#18490588
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26908) - you deserved it (3692)

On 12/11/2011 at 11:46pm - love - by PunkChik27 - United States (Ohio)

Today, my dad finally decided to give me the "sex talk." It was going fine until he said, "If you ever decide to have sex, picture my face like this" and pointed to his face, which had a creepy, intense stare. He just ruined sex for me. Forever. FML

#18467751
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40315) - you deserved it (4928)

On 12/09/2011 at 10:40am - intimacy - by Aly (woman) - United States

Today, my fiancé told me he wants a security guard to come with us on our honeymoon to Hawaii. Apparently, watching Dog the Bounty Hunter has made him feel unsafe. FML

#18379214
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19515) - you deserved it (2251)

On 11/28/2011 at 8:50pm - love - by DoggyBlues - United States (California)

Today, I came home from a weekend trip with some friends, and walked straight in on my girlfriend cheating on me. She burst into tears and began apologizing. Her exact words were "I'm so sorry! I thought you were coming back tomorrow." FML

#18326234
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37632) - you deserved it (1960)

On 11/23/2011 at 12:03pm - love - by cheated - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I discovered my sister has a crystal meth problem when she set fire to our house. FML

#18198070
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28436) - you deserved it (1931)

On 11/08/2011 at 11:11pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was playing twister with my girlfriend at the school carnival. I jokingly squeeze her butt, only to find her mom standing right above us. FML

#18106898
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10766) - you deserved it (27984)

On 10/29/2011 at 9:31pm - love - by Messiahman - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad walked in on me masturbating. All I could say was, "Uh I had an itch..." FML

#18100630
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16000) - you deserved it (29447)

On 10/29/2011 at 12:43am - intimacy - by me - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I dislocated my jaw while giving my boyfriend a blowjob. FML

#18051286
360 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39432) - you deserved it (18407)

On 10/23/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by canucks_chick - Canada

Today, I went to visit my grandpa. He has an easily excited dog, who barreled into my freshly broken knee. I felt my knee move out of place again. The dog chipped a tooth. We went to the vet first. FML

#17988590
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30278) - you deserved it (2544)

On 10/15/2011 at 10:02am - health - by KilteDKilleR - United States (Utah)

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

#17981940
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38403) - you deserved it (3847)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States

Today, I met an old friend, with whom I have a complicated history and we hooked up. He came before we even started. In his sleep, he pushed me out of the bed. When I woke up, he had peed himself in his sleep. Glad I let that ship sail. FML

#17959088
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14921) - you deserved it (18660)

On 10/11/2011 at 10:51am - intimacy - by CC (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML

#17953738
431 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30643) - you deserved it (22433)

On 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: