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thogston6458's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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thogston6458's favorite FMLs

Today, my car was keyed, while I was still sitting in it. FML

Today, I received a poorly-written letter from my asshole neighbor in which he threatened to "sew" me because my dog shat on his lawn again. I went over, asked if he needed some wool for his sewing, and told him to stop being an idiot. Now he's apparently hiring a lawyer for real. FML

by possibly a sweater / 12/05/2013 at 5:26pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my entire gym class had to run the 1600 with our coach calling out finishing times. My finishing time was reported as "3 days short of a year." FML

by Anonymous / 09/04/2013 at 1:28pm / United States (South Dakota) / Health

Today, my dad walked in on me filming a Harlem Shake video. He stared for a moment, said "Son, I don't have a problem with homosexuals, but... nevermind." then shook his head and walked out. FML

by ¬_¬ / 07/27/2013 at 6:43pm / South Africa (Western Cape) / Miscellaneous

Today, because my boyfriend drives a 2-seated sports car, I had to awkwardly sit on his brother's lap as we drove to the store. I soon felt a poking sensation through his pants, just a few minutes before we hit a bumpy road. FML

by orgasmicriding / 12/22/2012 at 5:55pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Transportation

Today, I was hit in the head by a golf ball. I wasn't near a golf course, and nobody was anywhere in sight. I'm still trying to figure out what happened. FML

by wtf / 12/17/2012 at 2:38pm / United States / Health

Today, I bought my son a nice car for his 18th birthday. When I gave it to him, he just got mad and told me that if I really wanted to spend that much money on him, I should've used it to help him pay for college. FML

by Anonymous / 12/05/2012 at 6:27am / Israel / Kids

Today, I was talking to my girlfriend about extinct peoples, and I said how close the Jewish people came to becoming one. She condescendingly told me they don't exist anymore. When I asked what she was talking about, I realized she was confusing them with the Vikings. What the hell? FML

by tempted to become single / 10/21/2012 at 12:00pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was talking to my future mother-in-law about my upcoming wedding. She told me that I wasn't allowed to have the wedding at a church, nor wear a white dress, nor have roses for flowers, because that would mean I'd be "copying" her. FML

by Anonymous / 10/13/2012 at 7:42pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Miscellaneous

Today, my stepdaughter called to say hello and to give me a warning: she will do whatever it takes to keep me from having a baby with her dad, including pushing me down the stairs. I'm 12 weeks pregnant, and we were going to tell her this weekend. I'm now petrified of a 10-year-old. FML

by AFEmoWifey / 10/09/2012 at 6:21am / United States (Virginia) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I got yelled at for providing horrible customer service, in a store I don't even work for. FML

by anonymous / 09/30/2012 at 1:32am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was scheduled for an interview at a local firm owned by two partners. The secretary told me to be there at around 12:00 to 12:30 pm, so I arrived at 12:15. The first boss told me off for being early, the other one yelled at me for being late. FML

by whatisthisidonteven / 09/23/2012 at 5:23am / Israel (Tel Aviv) / Work

Today, I went for my follow-up appointment with my surgeon. He walked into the room and said, "I thought you died." FML

by Missusluv313 / 09/17/2012 at 7:25am / United States (Indiana) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was assigned to write a short story about what we imagine Earth to be like in 500 years, and daily conflicts people experience. My teacher loved it and read it aloud to the class. He asked for my inspiration, and I didn't have the heart to say that I ripped off Mass Effect 3. FML

by brianfantana32 / 09/12/2012 at 12:24am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, uncertain of having a job next month or being able to pay rent, I'm filling out tens of online surveys a day for gift cards to McDonald's, to buy hamburgers that I can freeze so I will have food for the coming months. FML

by willtype4food / 09/09/2012 at 8:45pm / Finland / Money