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thisguy22's favorite FMLs
by BrakesNotBumpers / 06/12/2015 at 5:09pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Transportation
Today, I found my boyfriend and his friends laughing hysterically and practically choking on popcorn. They were watching a video of me in a school play, trying to sing while sobbing because I'd just pissed my pants in front of 200 people. Thanks for giving him the video, mom. FML
by .......... / 06/07/2015 at 5:46am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, I'm getting over a nasty breakup, and decided to treat myself and order a pizza online. After waiting 45 minutes, I checked the site. Turns out, I'd forgotten to change the address on the site. I sent my ex a free pizza. FML
by sad and hungry / 06/06/2015 at 10:37am / United States (New Jersey) / Love
by Anathema_360 / 05/30/2015 at 11:22am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, after taking my crush to the train station late at night, I sat in a local park alone with my thoughts for a while. Two cops appeared out of nowhere and started searching me for drugs and weapons, asking me questions for a good 30 minutes. Not the kind of action I expected tonight. FML
by Anonymous / 05/19/2015 at 4:49pm / Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg) / Love
Today, I had a plan. I was going to get up early, eat a well balanced breakfast, put on my workout clothes and enjoy this beautiful day with a fulfilling jog. Instead, I put on my workout clothes, spent hours on social media, ate a pizza and ended up falling asleep on my coach. FML
by NevertheKool / 05/07/2015 at 5:43pm / United States (New Jersey) / Money
by CASH_NoMOMEY / 05/07/2015 at 1:12am / United States (California) / Work
by Suicidal_Divide / 05/06/2015 at 3:25pm / United States (California) / Kids
by msleea / 05/06/2015 at 12:13am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I went to the yearly town carnival with my friends. I hadn't slept well the night before and when I got onto the scariest ride, I somehow fell half asleep. I woke up upside down and ended up peeing myself in terror. FML
by Upside-Down Sleeper. / 05/02/2015 at 5:59pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
by Ixlovexwaffles / 04/29/2015 at 4:33pm / Intimacy
Today, I kept hearing a child creepily giggling in my living room. I couldn't sleep and got so scared that I started considering hiring an exorcist. Long story short: be careful if you have Bluetooth speakers, because your dickhead neighbor might hack them and start fucking with you. FML
by Anonymous / 04/29/2015 at 1:42pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/25/2015 at 1:32pm / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 04/25/2015 at 3:57am / United States (Montana) / Love
Today, my little sister filled the huge house I spent over a week building in Minecraft with TNT. She then demanded I give her all the money in my wallet, or she'd blow it all up. She's now $86.25 richer, and my parents think it's too hilarious to make her give me my money back. FML
by Anonymous / 04/24/2015 at 11:23pm / United States / Money
- Today, I got asked "what do you do to get your body like that?" as I went to answer she continued… Today, I got a failing grade on my pre-calc final. After I broke the news to my dad, he slammed the… Today, I took off my engagement ring to shower (or so I think) because it's too big, considering we…