thief1434

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Offline (the 06/01/2015 at 11:44pm)

thief1434

11Fucked!

thief1434
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1735
  • Number of comments : 132
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 19 posted

About thief1434 : "Cowards die many times in life, but the valiant taste of death but once."
~Julius Caesar (Shakespeare's J. Caesar)
"The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves."
~Cassius (Shakespeare's J. Caesar)

I run XC, I love languages (they're just so amazing!), and I love to read. :D
I'm open to talk about anything.

thief1434's page activity

Visits<b>katelynrose2532</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 10:51pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/29/2016 at 10:28am<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 4:38pm<b>lindsihalme</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 4:11pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 7:36am<b>VectorFields</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 10:42am<b>gamermagic</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 11:42am<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 11:08pm<b>BritSkits</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 12:16pm<b>tamannab97</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 12:12am<b>iitzHarris</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 4:37pm<b>maxtheripper666</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 12:16am<b>wildcats909</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 3:25am<b>natalea_rae</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 8:41pm<b>youngsparrow</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 2:07am<b>this_ghetto</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 12:51am<b>nina0917</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 12:26am<b>royr7395</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 2:54am

Fucked!<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 10:38pm<b>KatlynBrooke</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 7:38pm<b>EKDH</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 8:46am<b>coyotefox</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 12:45pm<b>phantomofmind</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 1:17am<b>en0817</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 5:15am<b>ClaireQ123</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 4:54am<b>camogirl2249</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 6:25am<b>hailleylynn</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 2:02am<b>Selki</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 1:49am

thief1434's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

See all of thief1434's badges

thief1434's favorite FMLs

Today, my nutjob girlfriend dumped me for refusing to stop talking to my best friend, just because she's a woman. Before she left, my now-ex decided to punish me by destroying the dissertation I've spent months working on, along with both backups of it. FML

by Can I press charges? / 01/15/2015 at 12:23pm / Australia (Queensland) / Love

Today, I found out my girlfriend and all of our friends have begun referring to the time I was meant to lose my virginity, but couldn't get hard, as the "cheese stick incident." They all think it's hilarious, and the worst part is that it's actually a pretty appropriate description. FML

by Anonymous / 12/18/2014 at 5:45pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, my classmate said I looked better without makeup. Well, her exact words were, "You look like less of a whore without makeup." FML

by jesspacheco27 / 12/15/2014 at 1:05pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was informed that my uneven facial features make me seem "untrustworthy." Glad to know my unchangeable physical appearance doubles as a character flaw. FML

by lopsided / 12/14/2014 at 2:56am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 2 years after eating in a 5-star restaurant. She said that she wasn't ready and that she would walk home by herself, which she did. A homeless gentleman walked up from behind me, patted me on the back and said, "Bitches man." I cried. FML

by Brasilian29 / 12/11/2014 at 7:01am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I asked out the girl of my dreams. She was so excited that she had a severe asthma attack and ended up in hospital. Her answer was yes, but her parents won't let me anywhere near her now. They say I'm lucky they haven't sued me for "trying to kill her". FML

by Anonymous / 12/06/2014 at 7:56pm / United Kingdom / Love

Today, I broke a glass case containing my pet scorpions. I still can't find them. FML

by sting / 12/05/2014 at 8:32pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I bought my cat a fun toy at the one of a kind craft show. It has catnip in it, which he loves. He flipped out, so I took it away. He won't stop trying to break into the cupboard I put it in. My cat has a drug problem. FML

by allykat / 12/02/2014 at 7:56pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, after two years, my girlfriend finally got over her intimacy and commitment problems, with a guy she met over the summer. FML

by Summer Loving Happened So Fast / 12/02/2014 at 12:59pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, while in bed with my boyfriend of 2 years, he mentioned what it would be like if he had sex with anyone other than me. I mentioned the same about him. He quickly yelled, "No, you're a woman. You are mine!" FML

by justagirl / 12/02/2014 at 12:40am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for several moments stunned, still pooping. FML

by pooplife / 11/30/2014 at 2:32pm / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife was giving me a blowjob when I foolishly asked her how she got so good at giving them. She looked straight into my eyes and replied, "Practising on about six guys before you." FML

by Anonymous / 11/30/2014 at 8:07am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, my little sister asked if she could play on my laptop, but I said no because I was writing an essay for school. She then bit herself hard and showed the mark to our parents, saying I did it. As they bitched me out, my sister got on my laptop and deleted my half-finished essay. FML

by anotherhuman / 11/30/2014 at 12:48am / United States (Florida) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my friend made a fake account on Facebook, pretending to be a girl, and posted my phone number on a sexting group. I've been getting calls and text messages from horny weirdos all day long. FML

by bullah007 / 11/28/2014 at 1:43pm / Pakistan (Punjab) / Geek

Today, a group of protesters set up just outside my residence hall at one in the morning. After an hour of chanting, the police finally told them to stop, and I was finally able to get some sleep. The protesters responded by pulling the fire alarm in every residence hall on campus. FML

by IHateProtesters / 11/25/2014 at 11:13am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous