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therosh

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therosh

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  • Number of visits : 944
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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therosh's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML

#20644821
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64967) - you deserved it (5973)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:29am - kids - by SkeetinKeaton (man) - United States

Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML

#20640901
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50402) - you deserved it (7098)

On 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm - misc - by emasculated 10000% (man) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

#20640565
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70099) - you deserved it (10294)

On 05/04/2013 at 8:51am - kids - by wtfmama (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I caught my 14-year-old daughter stealing alcohol from me. After berating her for half-an-hour I finally said, "At least you're not doing drugs." She gave me a guilty smile and sheepishly said, "At least I'm not a prostitute?" FML

#20640404
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64171) - you deserved it (14101)

On 05/04/2013 at 3:22am - kids - by prostitott -

Today, I broke a nail at school. The edge kept getting caught on things, so I thought I could file it down by rubbing it on my jeans. Apparently it looked like I was doing something else, because I was called into the principal's office to discuss why "certain things" should be done in private. FML

#20139255
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30018) - you deserved it (4974)

On 10/29/2012 at 8:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend texted me, saying, "I'm running a bath. Wanna come over and learn about water displacement?" I excitedly drove over, thinking he wanted to have some fun. No, he really did want to teach me about water displacement. FML

#20047830
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31471) - you deserved it (6128)

On 08/29/2012 at 12:38pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was leaning over a fence in a pasture to get a closer look at something. Nobody warned my nuts that it was an electric fence. FML

#19355667
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20928) - you deserved it (9975)

On 03/27/2012 at 1:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, our school chorus went to a senior citizens' home. An elderly lady died during my solo. FML

#18964784
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43566) - you deserved it (3813)

On 01/31/2012 at 10:34pm - misc - by sorrygrandma - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend threatened to leave me if I didn't follow her latest fad of becoming a goth, which involves dressing like an undertaker's haunted hearse and putting on eyeliner. Last week she was into Reggae and beanie hats. FML

#18200183
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29087) - you deserved it (12228)

On 11/09/2011 at 7:27am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to the store to pick up some tampons. After waiting in line for about 10 minutes, the male cashier looked at me when I was leaving and said, "Have a nice... week!" FML

#18023767
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31736) - you deserved it (4660)

On 10/19/2011 at 3:36pm - misc - by sarah (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my mom took a bright red sharpie and drew a red circle just above my breasts. She said, "If I can see this, ever, your shirt is either too low cut or too see through and it will be thrown away." FML

#17977433
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28398) - you deserved it (10996)

On 10/13/2011 at 8:10pm - misc - by Cassandra (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, our power went out due to some severe storms. My daughter, who is 18, asked me why the lights on the car still worked. FML

#17333376
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35888) - you deserved it (9035)

On 08/01/2011 at 4:18pm - misc - by OhDeary (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I took my mom to Victoria's Secret to help her find a bra. She made me try one on to see if it looked good on me. Turns out we have the same cup size. I'm a guy. FML

#17080127
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21397) - you deserved it (49574)

On 07/12/2011 at 12:45pm - misc - by sm702 - United States (Colorado)

Today, I woke up to what I thought was my 9 month old son breastfeeding. It was my boyfriend. According to him, he wanted to experience what his mother never gave him as a kid. FML

#15561412
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40486) - you deserved it (7747)

On 03/30/2011 at 2:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

#14835077
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70213) - you deserved it (6590)

On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)



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