theoldGP

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theoldGP

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 32629
  • Number of comments : 267
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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theoldGP's page activity

Visits<b>moosemay</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 1:15pm<b>slombre</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 6:11pm<b>lolly_bags</b> - the 05/26/2013 at 8:11am<b>tftm</b> - the 01/04/2013 at 10:09pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 1:57am<b>ch2358</b> - the 08/30/2009 at 3:48pm<b>plexico</b> - the 08/30/2009 at 5:58am<b>username666</b> - the 05/25/2009 at 11:13am<b>bluedoll</b> - the 05/17/2009 at 2:53pm<b>Jdubbs80</b> - the 05/17/2009 at 12:08am<b>Subtext</b> - the 05/16/2009 at 5:22pm<b>sluttywhore69</b> - the 05/12/2009 at 10:41pm<b>whyyalltrippin</b> - the 05/09/2009 at 5:18pm<b>maximum31337</b> - the 05/06/2009 at 9:07pm<b>FMLK1Pac</b> - the 05/03/2009 at 7:12pm<b>chubs</b> - the 05/02/2009 at 9:22pm<b>bamfanr94</b> - the 04/30/2009 at 11:39pm<b>megg07</b> - the 04/30/2009 at 10:52pm

theoldGP's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

theoldGP's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that not only has my father been cheating on my mother with another woman, but they have a child together with the same name as me. FML

by redbluegreen / 08/09/2009 at 5:26am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my family invited a bunch of their friends over for a party. At some point they decided to play some home videos from many years ago. In one of them, I was 7, I said, "Look Mommy! I can make my pee-pee bigger by doing this!" Everyone saw and laughed. FML

by Anonymous / 07/25/2009 at 10:55am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a bath in the bathroom we are currently renovating. There's a big hole in the middle of the floor. When I got out of the bath, I swung one leg across the gap to get a towel from the rack. I drew back my leg and looked down to see my brother's hot friend staring up at me in horror. FML

by ilikeirishducks / 06/19/2009 at 9:51am / Italy / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw my super creepy live-in uncle standing in the kitchen holding a pair of my underwear and smiling at it, humming to himself. He didn't see me. I stood there for at least 30 seconds in shock, and when I backed away he was still looking at them. FML

Today, I went to a bar with some buddies, and after trying to pick up a few girls, one of my friends got a number. When I heard the number I said 'Sorry man, that's definitely the rejection hotline number'. So many girls have given me that number, I memorized it. FML

by toobad / 06/02/2009 at 1:41am / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, there was a parents bike race on the track at my high school for a fundraiser. My dad entered, and ended up winning. He did his victory dance with a massive erection showing through his spandex. Just about all of my friends, teachers, other parents, and the hot soccer team saw. FML

by biker2012 / 06/01/2009 at 3:13pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy

Today, I saw the following message on my Facebook News Feed: "Morning Sex: [My mom] and [My dad] are fans. Click here to Join" FML

by crazystuff23 / 06/01/2009 at 12:44pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML

by a / 05/21/2009 at 3:18pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Intimacy

Today, I found my mother wandering the halls of my fraternity unescorted and asked why she was here, she told me she was concerned when I didn't pick up my phone for two days. She then informed me that she had also moved to the same city I live in. My mother moved over 600 miles to stalk me. FML

by PetitPrincePerdu / 05/07/2009 at 8:42pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Kids

Today, I got a call from my child's preschool saying that "Mindy keeps saying she sits on her daddy's lap and plays with his peter." My daughter meant 'puter, as in computer. Now the school is worried my husband is a child molester. FML

by Gumfanatic302 / 05/06/2009 at 9:43pm / United States (Nevada) / Kids

Today, after practicing a song for my girlfriend on guitar all day, I called her over to my house to show it to her. After a long speech about how "this is for you," I played for about 3 seconds before I broke a string, which slapped her in her face. FML

by Anonymous / 05/06/2009 at 4:12pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Love

Today, my family was preparing a turkey for my grandma's birthday dinner when my aunt noticed a utensil on the counter and asked what it was for. My mom said it was used to keep the turkey's legs together. My aunt responded to her by saying, "Maybe you should get one for your daughter." FML

by Familyskank / 05/06/2009 at 12:57pm / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy

Today, I was eating some left over Easter peanut MandMs at work, when I exclaimed "oh cool, they have E's on them for Easter". It took me a couple of minutes, but I eventually realized that I was looking at a regular MandM sideways. Definitely explains my coworkers' uncontrollable laughter. FML

by StewPit / 04/16/2009 at 3:44pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I changed the locks on my apartment so my crazy ex girlfriend couldn't get in. I went to her house to return her house key. I accidentally gave her the key to my new locks, and can't find her old house key. Now I need her to come let me in to my own house. FML

by xnickx / 04/16/2009 at 10:47am / United States (Nebraska) / Love

Today, I saw a lesbian couple walking through the mall. One of the ladies walked up to me in the middle of the busy mall and started screaming at me about how rude it is to stare, and how we are all equal- straight or not. I was only staring because I'm a lesbian too, and they were hot. FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 10:33pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love