theninja1800

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theninja1800

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5547
  • Number of comments : 40
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

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theninja1800's page activity

Visits<b>lieutenantdan97</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 8:19pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 9:23am<b>bookgirl_7</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 1:30am<b>madmaddi147</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 12:08pm<b>JakeQuake</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 12:33am<b>Welshite</b> - the 11/09/2013 at 11:58pm<b>Booda_Shun</b> - the 10/24/2013 at 3:08am<b>ShadowFlame275</b> - the 09/24/2013 at 6:40am<b>The_night_walker</b> - the 09/24/2013 at 6:03am<b>gghhffh</b> - the 09/24/2013 at 2:02am<b>IndieParadise</b> - the 09/24/2013 at 1:16am<b>MikaykayUnicorn</b> - the 09/24/2013 at 12:43am<b>little_siren</b> - the 09/23/2013 at 10:35pm<b>eyunayev</b> - the 09/23/2013 at 10:28pm<b>WakkaWakka10</b> - the 09/23/2013 at 8:48pm<b>thatdangmexican</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 3:08pm<b>nichollelovins</b> - the 09/11/2013 at 1:37pm<b>Brando23</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 11:53pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 3:23pm

theninja1800's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

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theninja1800's favorite FMLs

Today, after months of exercise and diets and finally reaching my ideal weight, I told my morbidly obese cousin about my success, hoping to motivate him to do the same. He replied, "Why would it matter, you're still ugly." FML

by Anonymous / 10/15/2013 at 1:08pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I found out that my phone fits perfectly through the slot between the elevator and the floor. FML

by Anonymous / 10/15/2013 at 2:37am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, a customer called me "chink eyes", "dog eater", "bloody Chinese communist" and "ching chong." I'm black. FML

by mustabeendrugs / 10/13/2013 at 9:14pm / United States (Arizona) / Work

Today, I was hitting on a girl, and I was sure I could get her to sleep with me. When she finally gave in and was putting her number into my phone, she called my mom and asked her if she raised me to "sexually harass women." FML

by not getting laid / 10/13/2013 at 10:38am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my mom was acting really pissy, and I couldn't help but mutter that she must be on her period. Five hours later, I'm glued to the toilet with my phone, because she went all out for revenge and spiked my dinner with some hellishly potent kind of laxative. FML

by Anonymous / 10/12/2013 at 6:03pm / Iceland (Borgarfjardarsysla) / Health

Today, I went home after work with my best friend who I am also secretly in love with. We had a few drinks, were getting touchy, and one thing led to another. Before leaving, I got the courage to ask her out on a real date. Her only reply was, "I don't want to lose such a good friend." FML

Today, my boyfriend blew me off yet again because he claims he has a responsibility as a "crew leader" to train and recruit members at all times, to accommodate all time zones. GTA V is ruining our relationship. FML

by carla6991 / 10/09/2013 at 4:16pm / United States (Florida) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my husband yelled from upstairs, "Babe! BABE, COME QUICK!" Terrified that something might have happened to our newborn daughter, I rushed up, only to find out he just wanted to show me that he'd learned how to spin a top on the tip of his penis without it falling. FML

by -____- / 10/05/2013 at 5:28pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I accidentally texted a picture of my cock to my dad. FML

by Anonymous / 10/04/2013 at 7:36pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my purse was stolen from my bag while I was on the train. The thief will be surprised to find that it wasn't my money purse, but in fact my "period purse". Hope they find tampons useful. FML

by haveahappyperiod / 10/04/2013 at 5:39am / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on a dinner date with a guy I really like. I guess I was on my phone too much because halfway through the date he sent me a text saying how much my half of the bill would be. FML

by Lilly / 10/02/2013 at 8:43am / United States (Arkansas) / Love

Today, my body-building addiction hit a whole new level when I begged my friend to sell me her breast milk. FML

by DOCMONROE / 09/30/2013 at 6:51pm / United States (Illinois) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML

by -___- / 09/29/2013 at 3:46pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, in a fit of jealousy over my recent muscle growth, my brother told our mom that I've only been going to the gym so I could smoke weed with my friends. She believed him and grounded me. FML

by Anonymous / 09/28/2013 at 5:28pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that the girl I've fallen in love with is a "young-earth/dinosaurs-lived-with-humans" crackpot. FML

by GodSquad / 09/26/2013 at 4:06am / United Kingdom (Blackburn with Darwen) / Love