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thefastnfuryass

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thefastnfuryass

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 24 July 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 695
  • Number of comments : 96
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About thefastnfuryass : "I won nothing!"

thefastnfuryass's page activity

Visits<b>MrsWinchester</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 5:53am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 3:04pm<b>omgpp</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 10:47pm<b>levention</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 4:57am<b>tonyrules</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 5:55pm<b>polarbearpiss</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 5:13pm<b>TrickyNicky96</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 1:12pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 1:28am<b>DatPiggahDoe</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 8:41am<b>kubackster</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 12:45pm<b>brisbanegirl</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 11:05am<b>Mortoli</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 8:47am<b>KagamineRinny</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 6:46pm<b>Claud_ellis</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 2:02pm<b>tshurtz722</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 11:29am<b>snowyamoeba</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 8:57am<b>fundara11</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 10:51pm<b>ibanghellokitty</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 8:12pm

thefastnfuryass's FML badges

50 quality responses

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thefastnfuryass's favorite FMLs

Today, and for the past 38 weeks of my pregnancy, my husband decided to amuse himself by following me around, making whale noises. FML

#21074731
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49175) - you deserved it (5618)

On 03/01/2014 at 5:42am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was playing an intense game of Flappy Bird. I was so excited at being about to beat my high score that I got a hard-on. FML

#21074219
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42513) - you deserved it (19798)

On 02/28/2014 at 5:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Russian Federation (Moskva)

Today, frustrated that my boyfriend never gives me any orgasms when we make love, I tried politely hinting that he needs to improve. To start with, I said maybe he should be more spontaneous in bed. He replied, "What, like putting it in your ass? Gotcha." Great. FML

#21074161
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47826) - you deserved it (14373)

On 02/28/2014 at 4:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my car was found with a smashed window and a torn-apart steering column, in order to hot-wire it. The thief didn't get away with my car, though. The engine was in the garage, where I've been working on it for two days. FML

Today, I learned that no matter how much you want the Nutella, it's never a good idea to deep-throat the knife. FML

#21073034
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17314) - you deserved it (55063)

On 02/27/2014 at 9:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was doodling randomly during a meeting at work, and I noticed my drawing was beginning to look a bit like a penis. A coworker was eyeing it so I tried to make it something else by adding... oh good, now it's a penis and balls. FML

#21072961
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34016) - you deserved it (11855)

On 02/27/2014 at 6:59am - work - by doodler - United States (Texas)

Today, I was driving along, and went to spit out my window. My window was up. This happened in heavy traffic. People saw. FML

#21070244
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18634) - you deserved it (47572)

On 02/24/2014 at 10:21am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was walking a dog at the animal hospital where I work when it pooped out a rag-like object. I told the doctor, who told me to clean it off to see what it was. It was a rainbow-colored thong. We have to give it back to the owner when they pick their dog up. FML

#21069925
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36778) - you deserved it (2914)

On 02/23/2014 at 11:01pm - animals - by crap - United States (Nevada)

Today, while walking barefoot through my house, I saw something shine on the floor across the hallway. Curious as to what it was, I rubbed my foot across the carpet to feel it. It wasn't until it was deeply lodged in my foot did I realize it was an open safety pin. FML

#21069793
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17544) - you deserved it (36011)

On 02/23/2014 at 9:22pm - health - by owmyfoot - United States (California)

Today, I was babysitting an 8-year-old boy. He was playing with play-doh and made a sculpture that resembled a penis. I tried to cover up and asked if it was an action figure. He looked at me like I was an idiot and said, "It's a DICK." FML

#21069587
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44084) - you deserved it (5598)

On 02/23/2014 at 5:27pm - kids - by hot sweet.... not (woman) - United Kingdom (Renfrewshire)

Today, I was walking home, when a car heading the other way hit a traffic cone. I must have been an asshole in a previous life, because the universe decided to make sure the cone flew into the side of my head. The bystanders were shocked for all of two seconds before laughing. FML

#21068594
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42007) - you deserved it (3943)

On 02/22/2014 at 4:02pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I bought a new bra and panties and modeled them for my boyfriend. I thought he liked them, until mid-way through feeling me up, he decided he'd rather give me a massive wedgie. FML

#21068474
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48381) - you deserved it (7507)

On 02/22/2014 at 1:13pm - intimacy - by coppervains (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was at the mall with a couple of friends when we saw a couple of cute boys. I made eye contact with the cutest one. Flustered, I giggled, only to send a wad of snot flying out of my nose. FML

#21067978
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43483) - you deserved it (7678)

On 02/21/2014 at 9:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, the rash on my thigh started itching again. I felt good after a vigorous scratch, but the relief did not extend to my roommate, who only saw me at my laptop with my hand moving up and down in my pants. FML

#21067820
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43046) - you deserved it (7671)

On 02/21/2014 at 6:26pm - intimacy - by Sexy Rash (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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