thefastnfuryass

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thefastnfuryass

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 24 July 1995 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1261
  • Number of comments : 96
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About thefastnfuryass : "I won nothing!"

thefastnfuryass's page activity

Visits<b>panromantic</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 10:42am<b>10220706</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 8:10am<b>Rizzie0512</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 5:03am<b>MrsWinchester</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 5:53am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 3:04pm<b>omgpp</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 10:47pm<b>levention</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 4:57am<b>tonyrules</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 5:55pm<b>polarbearpiss</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 5:13pm<b>TrickyNicky96</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 1:12pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 1:28am<b>DatPiggahDoe</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 8:41am<b>kubackster</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 12:45pm<b>brisbanegirl</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 11:05am<b>Mortoli</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 8:47am<b>KagamineRinny</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 6:46pm<b>Claud_ellis</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 2:02pm<b>tshurtz722</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 11:29am

thefastnfuryass's FML badges

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of thefastnfuryass's badges

thefastnfuryass's favorite FMLs

Today, and for the past 38 weeks of my pregnancy, my husband decided to amuse himself by following me around, making whale noises. FML

by Anonymous / 03/01/2014 at 5:42am / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, I was playing an intense game of Flappy Bird. I was so excited at being about to beat my high score that I got a hard-on. FML

by Anonymous / 02/28/2014 at 5:26pm / Russian Federation (Moskva) / Intimacy

Today, frustrated that my boyfriend never gives me any orgasms when we make love, I tried politely hinting that he needs to improve. To start with, I said maybe he should be more spontaneous in bed. He replied, "What, like putting it in your ass? Gotcha." Great. FML

by Anonymous / 02/28/2014 at 4:10pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Intimacy

Today, I called a company for a problem with our septic tank. Two workers show up, I take them into the garden to show them the manhole cover at the top of it. They open it up. We then gaze upon a sea of condoms floating on the surface. My wife and I don't use condoms. FML

by Maxime / 02/27/2014 at 7:32pm / Love

Today, my car was found with a smashed window and a torn-apart steering column, in order to hot-wire it. The thief didn't get away with my car, though. The engine was in the garage, where I've been working on it for two days. FML

Today, I learned that no matter how much you want the Nutella, it's never a good idea to deep-throat the knife. FML

by Anonymous / 02/27/2014 at 9:34am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was doodling randomly during a meeting at work, and I noticed my drawing was beginning to look a bit like a penis. A coworker was eyeing it so I tried to make it something else by adding... oh good, now it's a penis and balls. FML

by doodler / 02/27/2014 at 6:59am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I was driving along, and went to spit out my window. My window was up. This happened in heavy traffic. People saw. FML

by Anonymous / 02/24/2014 at 10:21am / United States / Transportation

Today, I was walking a dog at the animal hospital where I work when it pooped out a rag-like object. I told the doctor, who told me to clean it off to see what it was. It was a rainbow-colored thong. We have to give it back to the owner when they pick their dog up. FML

by crap / 02/23/2014 at 11:01pm / United States (Nevada) / Animals

Today, while walking barefoot through my house, I saw something shine on the floor across the hallway. Curious as to what it was, I rubbed my foot across the carpet to feel it. It wasn't until it was deeply lodged in my foot did I realize it was an open safety pin. FML

by owmyfoot / 02/23/2014 at 9:22pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I was babysitting an 8-year-old boy. He was playing with play-doh and made a sculpture that resembled a penis. I tried to cover up and asked if it was an action figure. He looked at me like I was an idiot and said, "It's a DICK." FML

by hot sweet.... not / 02/23/2014 at 5:27pm / United Kingdom (Renfrewshire) / Kids

Today, I was walking home, when a car heading the other way hit a traffic cone. I must have been an asshole in a previous life, because the universe decided to make sure the cone flew into the side of my head. The bystanders were shocked for all of two seconds before laughing. FML

by Anonymous / 02/22/2014 at 4:02pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I bought a new bra and panties and modeled them for my boyfriend. I thought he liked them, until mid-way through feeling me up, he decided he'd rather give me a massive wedgie. FML

by coppervains / 02/22/2014 at 1:13pm / United States (Louisiana) / Intimacy

Today, I was at the mall with a couple of friends when we saw a couple of cute boys. I made eye contact with the cutest one. Flustered, I giggled, only to send a wad of snot flying out of my nose. FML

by Anonymous / 02/21/2014 at 9:47pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, the rash on my thigh started itching again. I felt good after a vigorous scratch, but the relief did not extend to my roommate, who only saw me at my laptop with my hand moving up and down in my pants. FML

by Sexy Rash / 02/21/2014 at 6:26pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy