thefastnfuryass

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thefastnfuryass

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 24 July 1995 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1264
  • Number of comments : 96
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About thefastnfuryass : "I won nothing!"

thefastnfuryass's page activity

Visits<b>panromantic</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 10:42am<b>10220706</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 8:10am<b>Rizzie0512</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 5:03am<b>MrsWinchester</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 5:53am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 3:04pm<b>omgpp</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 10:47pm<b>levention</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 4:57am<b>tonyrules</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 5:55pm<b>polarbearpiss</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 5:13pm<b>TrickyNicky96</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 1:12pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 1:28am<b>DatPiggahDoe</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 8:41am<b>kubackster</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 12:45pm<b>brisbanegirl</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 11:05am<b>Mortoli</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 8:47am<b>KagamineRinny</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 6:46pm<b>Claud_ellis</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 2:02pm<b>tshurtz722</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 11:29am

thefastnfuryass's FML badges

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

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thefastnfuryass's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a paintball match with my family and the family of my brother's girlfriend. A few minutes into, my brother's girlfriend's dad snuck up on me, unloaded into me from behind, and snarled, "That's for knocking my daughter up." He got the wrong guy. My back is killing me. FML

by iusedprotectionanyway / 03/21/2014 at 5:44pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Health

Today, I had to give a deposition ahead of a trial in which my former boss is accused of fraud. I'm not a smart man, and I smoked a joint before heading out to try to calm my nerves. I got way too high and ended up giggling like an idiot through half the deposition. FML

by screwed / 03/20/2014 at 5:03pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on my sixth date with a guy I was beginning to really like. He asked if I'd mind if his friend Pete met up with us afterwards. I said sure. Turns out "Pete" is his penis. FML

Today, after finishing an essay at the library, I fell asleep and had a dream about the essay crawling out through my laptop screen and trying to kill me. I woke by the librarian shaking me and telling me to stop screaming. I was mortified. FML

by systematicpanic / 03/20/2014 at 12:48pm / United Kingdom (Leicester) / Work

Today, my boyfriend decided it was time to spice up our sex life. He now watches Sons Of Anarchy when we have sex. FML

by Anonymous / 03/19/2014 at 10:43pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was making a special birthday delivery for a customer. As I handed her the fruit basket, I said, "Hey, we have the same birthday! Happy birthday!" She called me an attention whore and slammed the door in my face. FML

by Ma_Nikka / 03/19/2014 at 9:38pm / United States (California) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was texting an artist friend telling her I wanted to buy her paintings; going on and on about how much I wanted it and loved the way they looked and couldn't wait to have them. I realized my phone had corrected paintings to panties. FML

by BigBlue / 03/19/2014 at 7:19pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, a crazy woman grabbed my hair and mentioned how lovely it was. She then asked when I would donate it. I told her I didn't want to, at which point she started yelling that she was going to get some scissors and cut it all off to teach me a lesson. FML

by donttouchmyhair / 03/19/2014 at 2:14pm / Romania (Bucuresti) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was fired over the phone, losing my only source of income. When asked if I was okay, I explained that although I understood why, I was a little peeved they'd chosen my birthday to deliver the message. My - now former - boss then sang "Happy Birthday" to me in its entirety. FML

by pale-suzie / 03/19/2014 at 8:28am / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Work

Today, I decided to clean my apartment from top to bottom. Once I was done, I looked over at my puppy, who then woke up, stretched, got out of his basket and started to pee. I shouted, "No!" Scared, he then ran all over the place, still peeing. FML

by Shiva / 03/18/2014 at 4:46am / France (Poitou-Charentes) / Animals

Today, my mother taught my 98-year-old great-uncle to knock on the wall if he needs us. He can't remember who we are; but every hour he can remember to knock to ask, "Is it breakfast yet?" FML

by can't sleep / 03/18/2014 at 4:36am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I marched in the St. Patrick's day parade. My horn has an inconveniently-placed spit valve that has to be drained frequently. At the end, I discovered every time I emptied it, it would spray all over the front of my pants. I marched an entire parade looking like I pissed my pants. FML

by Bandking / 03/17/2014 at 5:48pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized I'm so scared of my manager that I don't even dare to quit my job. The same job I want to quit exactly because I'm so scared of her. FML

by outthelabyrynth / 03/17/2014 at 3:41pm / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had to appear in court. My boyfriend gave me a chocolate to eat for comfort. The quote on the wrapper read "Today, you are exactly where you should be." FML

by NotInTheRightPlace / 03/17/2014 at 2:18pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was babysitting my nephew and we decided to color together. He drew a picture of someone who looked dead, almost zombie-like, while everyone else looked pretty normal. When I asked who it was, he said in a serious, scary voice, "It's you." FML

by BondingTime / 03/17/2014 at 5:51am / United States (Minnesota) / Kids