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thefastnfuryass

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thefastnfuryass

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 24 July 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 881
  • Number of comments : 96
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About thefastnfuryass : "I won nothing!"

thefastnfuryass's page activity

Visits<b>Rizzie0512</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 5:03am<b>MrsWinchester</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 5:53am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 3:04pm<b>omgpp</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 10:47pm<b>levention</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 4:57am<b>tonyrules</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 5:55pm<b>polarbearpiss</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 5:13pm<b>TrickyNicky96</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 1:12pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 1:28am<b>DatPiggahDoe</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 8:41am<b>kubackster</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 12:45pm<b>brisbanegirl</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 11:05am<b>Mortoli</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 8:47am<b>KagamineRinny</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 6:46pm<b>Claud_ellis</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 2:02pm<b>tshurtz722</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 11:29am<b>snowyamoeba</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 8:57am<b>fundara11</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 10:51pm

thefastnfuryass's FML badges

50 quality responses

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Perfectionist

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thefastnfuryass's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a paintball match with my family and the family of my brother's girlfriend. A few minutes into, my brother's girlfriend's dad snuck up on me, unloaded into me from behind, and snarled, "That's for knocking my daughter up." He got the wrong guy. My back is killing me. FML

#21092834
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41069) - you deserved it (3288)

On 03/21/2014 at 5:44pm - health - by iusedprotectionanyway (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I had to give a deposition ahead of a trial in which my former boss is accused of fraud. I'm not a smart man, and I smoked a joint before heading out to try to calm my nerves. I got way too high and ended up giggling like an idiot through half the deposition. FML

#21091940
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16983) - you deserved it (64582)

On 03/20/2014 at 5:03pm - misc - by screwed (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went on my sixth date with a guy I was beginning to really like. He asked if I'd mind if his friend Pete met up with us afterwards. I said sure. Turns out "Pete" is his penis. FML

Today, after finishing an essay at the library, I fell asleep and had a dream about the essay crawling out through my laptop screen and trying to kill me. I woke by the librarian shaking me and telling me to stop screaming. I was mortified. FML

#21091737
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39824) - you deserved it (4483)

On 03/20/2014 at 12:48pm - work - by systematicpanic (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, my boyfriend decided it was time to spice up our sex life. He now watches Sons Of Anarchy when we have sex. FML

#21091327
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40733) - you deserved it (6163)

On 03/19/2014 at 10:43pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was making a special birthday delivery for a customer. As I handed her the fruit basket, I said, "Hey, we have the same birthday! Happy birthday!" She called me an attention whore and slammed the door in my face. FML

Today, I was texting an artist friend telling her I wanted to buy her paintings; going on and on about how much I wanted it and loved the way they looked and couldn't wait to have them. I realized my phone had corrected paintings to panties. FML

#21091119
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38695) - you deserved it (5138)

On 03/19/2014 at 7:19pm - misc - by BigBlue (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, a crazy woman grabbed my hair and mentioned how lovely it was. She then asked when I would donate it. I told her I didn't want to, at which point she started yelling that she was going to get some scissors and cut it all off to teach me a lesson. FML

#21090883
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44834) - you deserved it (3564)

On 03/19/2014 at 2:14pm - misc - by donttouchmyhair (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I was fired over the phone, losing my only source of income. When asked if I was okay, I explained that although I understood why, I was a little peeved they'd chosen my birthday to deliver the message. My - now former - boss then sang "Happy Birthday" to me in its entirety. FML

#21090716
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41676) - you deserved it (3911)

On 03/19/2014 at 8:28am - work - by pale-suzie (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, my mother taught my 98-year-old great-uncle to knock on the wall if he needs us. He can't remember who we are; but every hour he can remember to knock to ask, "Is it breakfast yet?" FML

#21089766
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37719) - you deserved it (3895)

On 03/18/2014 at 4:36am - misc - by can't sleep - United States (Indiana)

Today, I marched in the St. Patrick's day parade. My horn has an inconveniently-placed spit valve that has to be drained frequently. At the end, I discovered every time I emptied it, it would spray all over the front of my pants. I marched an entire parade looking like I pissed my pants. FML

#21089223
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33894) - you deserved it (4947)

On 03/17/2014 at 5:48pm - misc - by Bandking (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I realized I'm so scared of my manager that I don't even dare to quit my job. The same job I want to quit exactly because I'm so scared of her. FML

Today, I had to appear in court. My boyfriend gave me a chocolate to eat for comfort. The quote on the wrapper read "Today, you are exactly where you should be." FML

#21089044
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38263) - you deserved it (6164)

On 03/17/2014 at 2:18pm - misc - by NotInTheRightPlace (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was babysitting my nephew and we decided to color together. He drew a picture of someone who looked dead, almost zombie-like, while everyone else looked pretty normal. When I asked who it was, he said in a serious, scary voice, "It's you." FML

#21088838
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36692) - you deserved it (3794)

On 03/17/2014 at 5:51am - kids - by BondingTime - United States (Minnesota)



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