thefastnfuryass

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thefastnfuryass

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 24 July 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1437
  • Number of comments : 96
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About thefastnfuryass : "I won nothing!"

thefastnfuryass's page activity

Visits<b>panromantic</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 10:42am<b>10220706</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 8:10am<b>Rizzie0512</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 5:03am<b>MrsWinchester</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 5:53am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 3:04pm<b>omgpp</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 10:47pm<b>levention</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 4:57am<b>tonyrules</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 5:55pm<b>polarbearpiss</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 5:13pm<b>TrickyNicky96</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 1:12pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 1:28am<b>DatPiggahDoe</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 8:41am<b>kubackster</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 12:45pm<b>brisbanegirl</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 11:05am<b>Mortoli</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 8:47am<b>KagamineRinny</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 6:46pm<b>Claud_ellis</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 2:02pm<b>tshurtz722</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 11:29am

thefastnfuryass's FML badges

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of thefastnfuryass's badges

thefastnfuryass's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized that the only female who shows any sexual interest in me at all is my 70-year-old neighbor. FML

by gerontofuck / 04/15/2014 at 5:55pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, my 12-year-old sister watched Frozen. She's spent the last two hours playing the song Let It Go on high volume over and over, and in different languages. I now have a skull-splitting headache, and my dad just sarcastically told me to "let it go". FML

by fuckyouharddad / 04/15/2014 at 3:24pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend stayed over at my place for the first time. I left him in the bedroom for a couple of minutes while I used the toilet, and when I came back, he was holding my vibrator. He angrily asked me, "What the hell is this? You know this is cheating, right?" FML

by Anonymous / 04/15/2014 at 12:37pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I got a Facebook message from a cute guy I used to work with. He admitted to liking me and when I asked why we never hung out he admitted that my dad, his boss at the time, threatened every guy I have ever worked with. FML

by cricha4208 / 04/15/2014 at 10:01am / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, my house was robbed. My two 70-pound German Shepherds obeyed me when I told them to attack. They also obeyed the robber when he said, "Sit". FML

by stupiddog / 04/15/2014 at 8:08am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, while I was waiting for the bus, I was whistling. I saw a cute girl running and I looked at my phone so it didn't seem too awkward. I was still whistling as she passed by so it sounded like I whistled at her. She ran back to slap me. FML

by heycutie / 04/15/2014 at 12:24am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML

by Anonymous / 04/14/2014 at 4:12pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, I wanted to prove to my dad that I can drive, so that he'd let me use his car in future. Let's just say I helped him remove the fence that he was planning to repair. FML

Today, after a dental appointment, my lips were numb. On the bus on my way back home, the cutest girl smiled at me. In attempt to smile back, I forgot my lips were numb and ended up spitting my chewing gum at her. I had to switch buses. FML

by Anonymous / 04/14/2014 at 6:12am / Malta / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on a date with my boyfriend. As we walked back home from the cinema, he was checking his phone, when suddenly someone grabbed it and ran off. I had to be the one to go run after the thug because my 23-year-old boyfriend froze on the spot, crying. FML

Today, my girlfriend's little brother challenged me to a water gun fight. I accepted, not knowing he was going to fill his gun with vinegar, then shoot me in the eyes with it. FML

by BeatByA9yrold / 04/12/2014 at 3:59pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids

Today, I was taking the biggest shit of my life. When I worked the thing out, it hit the water with such force that I got a toilet water enema from the backwash. I was so freaked out that I screamed and fell off the seat, prompting my husband to rush in to see what was wrong. FML

by traumatized / 04/12/2014 at 2:07pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my father took me out for some driving lessons. Out of nowhere, a huge, apparently suicidal bird dove into the windshield, putting a crack in it. My father yelled at me as if it was my fault, and is demanding I pay for the repairs. FML

by Anonymous / 04/11/2014 at 4:07pm / Switzerland / Money

Today, while already late for work, a cop pulled me over. When he got to my window, he said, "Oh sorry, I thought I knew you," and sent me on my way. I was relieved, but still got written up for being late to work. My boss didn't believe the story. FML

by mcmacmick97 / 04/10/2014 at 8:08pm / United States (New Jersey) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my co-worker started talking in third person. Not only that, but he narrates his daily tasks. "Jeff reached for a stapler", "Jeff stapled a report". I have to sit beside this chimp for 8 hours a day, and nothing I say can end this. FML

by war_monkey / 04/10/2014 at 8:20am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.