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thedudeguy1's favorite FMLs
by mommyopps / 03/25/2016 at 10:14pm / United States (Minnesota) / Kids
by anonymous / 03/25/2016 at 6:19pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 03/18/2016 at 4:56pm / United States / Love
Today, a man kept talking and laughing like an idiot all through the movie I was watching. I thought he was high, so I called him a moron and told him to shut the hell up. It turned out he wasn't high. He was just "special". FML
by soembarassed / 03/18/2016 at 2:26pm / Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh) / Miscellaneous
Today, while working in a customer service call center, a customer berated me for using a fake name. He said my name is "too stupid" to be real and that no sane person would ever use it. It was my real name. FML
by mynameisnotstupid / 03/18/2016 at 11:05am / Germany (Bayern) / Work
by drucle / 03/18/2016 at 8:49am / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Health
Today, in court, my client ran his mouth at the judge, cursing him out and then trying to lecture him on "freedom of speech" when he was found in contempt. I don't know what it is with these nutjobs, but I wish I'd never become a public defender. FML
by Anonymous / 03/17/2016 at 11:34am / United States (California) / Work
Today, I had sex with a guy I really had a connection with. It went perfect until I complimented how his moans during sex turn me on a lot, and he responded with, "That's what my mom told me." I laughed so hard we couldn't go on. FML
by UnicornWaffles / 03/16/2016 at 1:23pm / Taiwan (T'ai-pei) / Intimacy
Today, my 2-year-old daughter started showing signs of understanding the potty training concept. She announced to my mother-in-law that she needed to go potty, only to be flatly told, "No, you don't." So she crapped herself. Now it's going to take forever to train her. FML
by Disgruntled / 03/16/2016 at 8:01am / United States (Michigan) / Kids
Today, in front of a group of family, friends, and acquaintances, a guy I hadn't talked to in about two years asked me how rehab was going. In the monstrous silence that followed, I had to awkwardly explain that I work at a nursing home that also functions as a rehabilitation center. FML
by Bex / 03/15/2016 at 3:27am / United States (California) / Work
Today, while jogging in the park, a confused elderly gentleman asked me for directions, so I told him how to get to where he needed to go. He paused for a long moment, then asked me if he could eat me out. FML
by Anonymous / 03/13/2016 at 12:16pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
Today, after struggling to get something out of my eye, I kept my eye open long so it would start to water. My mother in law noticed and said, "Aww, do you need a therapist again?" She knows full well I struggle with chronic depression. FML
by Anonymous / 03/12/2016 at 9:13am / United Kingdom (Neath Port Talbot) / Health
by sick of this shit / 03/12/2016 at 8:33am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was using the urinal at work when an old guy started using the one next to mine. All of a sudden, he used that Ghostbusters' line, "Cross the streams!", and tried to pee into my urinal. I had to wait 4 hours in pee-drenched shoes until my shift was over. FML
by NotASquirrel / 03/12/2016 at 12:29am / United States (New York) / Work
- Today, I tried to get the weird annoying chick at work to pick up my shift for me so I could go and… Today, I forgot my headphones at home, which wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have to be in the third… Today, a cockroach fell from my ceiling when I was getting in bed. This was 10PM when it happened.…