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thecouchisalive

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thecouchisalive

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1356
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

About thecouchisalive : I have no social life so I read FML's all day every day. Still haven't gotten one posted...

thecouchisalive's page activity

Visits<b>Brandi_Faith</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 1:32am<b>jeoooooorge</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 10:50am<b>LozzieDumpling</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 5:53am<b>pikon</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 5:05am<b>jokeralex816</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 4:11am<b>lhuss12</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 10:59pm<b>stuckintime</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 10:38pm<b>kansah</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 7:03am<b>darthgagemo</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 3:58am<b>FloWPs</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 3:24pm<b>chloesma</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 10:28pm<b>Hash13</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 8:42am<b>royr7395</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 1:30am<b>gis0392</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 11:20pm<b>zBerryz</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 11:25pm<b>juststephhere</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 11:41pm<b>tazmanmike2013</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 1:26am<b>colton_colton</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 3:27pm

Fucked!<b>gshocker20</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 6:48pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 1:03pm<b>lhuss12</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 10:42pm

thecouchisalive's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of thecouchisalive's badges

thecouchisalive's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out my mom put breast milk in my cereal until I was 7 years old. FML

#21413959
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27911) - you deserved it (2553)

On 05/22/2015 at 11:17am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I saw a real, erect penis for the first time. My brother's, while he was jerking off. He doesn't know I saw, because he was holding a pair of panties over his face with his other hand. I'm trying like hell to act like I'm not mentally scarred. FML

#21411971
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29895) - you deserved it (2877)

On 05/18/2015 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, my 14-year-old daughter told me she's pregnant and plans on dropping out of school to live a life on the road with her boyfriend. FML

#21410693
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37883) - you deserved it (6313)

On 05/15/2015 at 8:50pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to pick my brother up from work because he broke down crying. I arrived to find that apparently, you can get so stoned that serving a pregnant woman at a fast food joint moves you to tears over the miracle of life. FML

#21409953
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29674) - you deserved it (2204)

On 05/14/2015 at 10:23am - misc - by sistertaxi - Australia

Today, my 6-year-old daughter barged into the bathroom while I was peeing, inspected the toilet and said, "You're well hydrated, good job." FML

#21405462
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28535) - you deserved it (3363)

On 05/06/2015 at 1:22am - kids - by seethroughpee - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had to play the hot and cold game with my boyfriend until he found my clitoris. FML

#21405064
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33558) - you deserved it (4476)

On 05/05/2015 at 11:13am - intimacy - by baby_trex_arms - United States (California)

Today, in the middle of the supermarket, my 7 year old son asked me what a cocksucker is and why his mum always calls me that. FML

#21402984
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27706) - you deserved it (3095)

On 05/01/2015 at 4:41pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I asked my class to name some West African countries. Several of them thought Ebola was a country. I teach an AP history class. FML

#21400396
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33853) - you deserved it (3643)

On 04/27/2015 at 12:58am - work - by advanced history teacher (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, a friendly game of Cards Against Humanity somehow ended in a screaming match, my best friend's mother pulling out her tits, and me getting bit in the foot by a dog. FML

Today, my 13-year-old sister told me that she wants to get pregnant soon to stop her periods for a while. I can't believe we're related. FML

Today, my husband and I caught our 12-year-old son "experimenting" with a 5-foot tall stuffed Mickey Mouse. He even made sure to rip Mickey's pants off. FML

#21392745
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29185) - you deserved it (3038)

On 04/13/2015 at 1:35am - intimacy - by bigmouthedmommy - United States (California)

Today, a little girl from my Sunday School class approached me and told me she had a stomach ache. She seemed very upset and her face was discolored so I took her to the nurse. While we were walking out the door, I looked down and saw a half-eaten crayon on the floor. That'll do it. FML

#21392424
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24116) - you deserved it (1882)

On 04/12/2015 at 3:49pm - health - by drewcaver - United States (Texas)

Today, for the first time in my life, a girl showed interest in me. She sent me a text message saying she wanted to come over and fuck my brains out. This would've made me the happiest guy alive, if only she weren't my extremely drunk sister. FML

#21391907
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33314) - you deserved it (2609)

On 04/11/2015 at 4:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got grounded because my mom found a condom in the bathroom trashcan and assumed it was mine. I took the blame because I was too embarrassed to admit that it must have belonged to my 13-year-old brother, since I'm still a virgin at 19. FML

#21391452
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30334) - you deserved it (4661)

On 04/10/2015 at 7:16pm - misc - by uglybrother (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out just how much my dog likes ice-cream when she tackled a little girl at a park for hers. FML



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