About thecouchisalive : I have no social life so I read FML's all day every day. Still haven't gotten one posted...
thecouchisalive's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
thecouchisalive's favorite FMLs
by Yocherrypicker / 07/28/2016 at 9:04pm / Miscellaneous
Today, I was told that the $8,500 bill for my new water well grew to $11,000 because of a fair amount of overtime. I learned that the men I hired to drill the new well at our home were spending the overtime drilling my daughter as well. FML
by loserman67 / 07/18/2016 at 8:04am / Intimacy
by Not true / 07/17/2016 at 10:56pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
by PseudoHappiness / 07/17/2016 at 8:16pm / United States (Missouri) / Money
Today, I walked out the back door of my place of employment and looked down to see a huge cockroach. This is quite a normal occurrence, so I thought nothing of it until I realized it was struggling to drag the corpse of one of its friends into the building. FML
by unemployed / 07/11/2016 at 3:09pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, I received an envelope with my name written in beautiful writing in my mailbox. I just moved in the day before and hadn't given the address to anyone or met my neighbors yet so I was a bit surprised by it, even more surprised to find nothing but a dick pic inside. FML
by ZeldaovaPeach / 07/05/2016 at 8:44am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/01/2016 at 12:23pm / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Kids
by Miss_Blaine / 06/29/2016 at 4:05pm / United States (Texas) / Love
by please don't get the succ / 06/29/2016 at 2:21pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, a wasp ended up in the house. Normally, I'd just open a door to outside and run for cover, but my 3-year-old son was home, so I decided to be brave and kill it. It flew into the air vents. We're now playing wasp roulette every time we enter a room. FML
by Anonymous / 06/29/2016 at 8:24am / United States (Texas) / Animals
by crybaby / 06/28/2016 at 1:54pm / United States (Washington) / Animals
Today, as a dentist, I was performing simple tooth extraction when I realized that the X-ray was flipped the wrong way the whole time. I had to lie to the patient that the tooth that I accidently extracted needed to go as well. FML
by Anonymous / 06/28/2016 at 12:25am / Malaysia (Perak) / Work
by Anonymous / 06/26/2016 at 8:22am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals
by anal-retentive / 06/23/2016 at 4:00pm / United States / Intimacy
by lauren / 06/21/2016 at 3:06pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
- Today, my girlfriend's parents walked in on us having sex. Not only did her dad make me walk out to… Today, one of my boyfriend's friends commented on how small my boobs are. My boyfriend defended me,… Today, I let my boyfriend finger me for the first time. Today, I also learned, after fifteen very,…