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thecouchisalive

Offline (yesterday at 7:47pm) | Search for a member

thecouchisalive

3Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 988
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About thecouchisalive : I have no social life so I read FML's all day every day. Still haven't gotten one posted...

thecouchisalive's page activity

Visits<b>kansah</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 7:03am<b>darthgagemo</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 3:58am<b>FloWPs</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 3:24pm<b>chloesma</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 10:28pm<b>Hash13</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 8:42am<b>royr7395</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 1:30am<b>gis0392</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 11:20pm<b>zBerryz</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 11:25pm<b>juststephhere</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 11:41pm<b>tazmanmike2013</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 1:26am<b>colton_colton</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 3:27pm<b>samanthagood</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 11:52pm<b>kmarshofmywindow</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 12:58pm<b>jaydoug92</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 11:46pm<b>GEORGETOWN_22</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 2:47pm<b>powerkeep</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 10:40am<b>nina0917</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 10:01am<b>vlalam</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 8:48am

Liked!<b>gshocker20</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 6:48pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 1:03pm<b>lhuss12</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 10:42pm

thecouchisalive's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of thecouchisalive's badges

thecouchisalive's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up this morning in a panic. Last night, I heard scratching at my door, but I thought it was just my cat and went back to sleep. This morning, it hit me that my cat is 600 miles away living with my mom in Iowa. I'm terrified to even sleep now. FML

#21370427
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12) - you deserved it (2542)

On 03/08/2015 at 10:41am - animals - by no salt, no burning, just STFU (man) - United States

Today, at a music festival, some douche unzipped the back of my skirt, exposing my Ninja Turtle undies to everyone before running off. FML

#21369215
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30835) - you deserved it (4501)

On 03/06/2015 at 9:03am - misc - by no touching - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mother walked in on me watching porn. As punishment, she sat down and made me watch the rest of it with her as she gave play-by-play commentary. FML

#21368964
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43191) - you deserved it (19533)

On 03/05/2015 at 10:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my mother walked in on me watching porn. As punishment, she sat down and made me watch the rest of it with her as she gave play-by-play commentary. FML

#21368964
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43191) - you deserved it (19533)

On 03/05/2015 at 10:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend convinced a girl at the club to break up with her boyfriend and go home with him. She did. Now I'm single too. FML

#21368542
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35063) - you deserved it (2833)

On 03/05/2015 at 8:32am - love - by therealkathl - Austria

Today, I went to the doctor, because I've been having stomach pains and nausea for weeks. He ended up gravely telling me I'm pregnant. I freaked out and panicked about what my parents would say. Then his laughter reminded me that I'm a guy. A really stupid one. FML

#21367918
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7) - you deserved it (8)

On 03/04/2015 at 10:03am - health - by actually just constipated.. and stupid - Tunisia

Today, I got pulled over during my driving test. FML

#21367600
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31880) - you deserved it (6688)

On 03/03/2015 at 9:35pm - misc - by notdrivinganytimesoon (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while walking out of a store eating a candy bar, a homeless man tried to run up and steal my candy. I stuck a leg out and tripped him. The only thing I could think of to yell at him was, "Swiper no Swiping". My kids have ruined my coolness. FML

#21366982
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9) - you deserved it (8)

On 03/02/2015 at 11:57pm - misc - by Dad (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me for another girl, via a text message ending with "No hard feelings. Well xcept 4 my cock obvs. ;)" Fuck you, Rick. FML

#21365892
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34130) - you deserved it (2574)

On 03/01/2015 at 1:59pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, I noticed our weekly biohazardous waste pickup didn't occur as usual at the surgery center where I work. After calling, the company informed me they were short staffed and couldn't make it out 'til next week. Guess that amputated finger is just going to marinate another week. FML

Today, my daughter got her first period. Nobody was home but my husband. He didn't know what to do, except give her a sponge to put in her underwear. FML

#21356191
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36195) - you deserved it (3457)

On 02/14/2015 at 7:34pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found three of my sister's dildos as I helped her unpack boxes for her new house. Jokingly, I said, "Why would you even need three?!" She actually explained. FML

#21334501
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31047) - you deserved it (10131)

On 01/10/2015 at 2:02pm - intimacy - by sisterlylove - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend made me a milkshake. It was pale yellow with some black spots. He told me it was banana and poppy seed. After drinking it, he told me they weren't poppy seeds. They were his pubes. FML

#21313388
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36971) - you deserved it (4336)

On 12/07/2014 at 9:12pm - misc - by pubemilkshake - United States (Utah)

Today, I asked my girlfriend's father for permission to take his daughter's hand in marriage. He asked me "Which one?" I said "Uh, the one I'm dating... Lisa." He belched and said, "Yeah sure, throw 'er off a cliff for all I care. Piss off, boy." So much for chivalry. FML

#21308242
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33349) - you deserved it (3002)

On 11/29/2014 at 4:54pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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