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Offline (yesterday at 8:45pm)



  • Town/Country : Los Angeles, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4153
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About thecouchisalive : I have no social life so I read FML's all day every day. Still haven't gotten one posted...

thecouchisalive's page activity

Visits<b>Xx_Slayer_xX</b> - the 07/27/2016 at 2:47pm<b>Diamond_don</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 11:55am<b>delichick</b> - the 07/03/2016 at 4:27pm<b>junko</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 11:12pm<b>lovegrn18</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 1:34pm<b>shamalala</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 11:32am<b>SaintGoobers</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 10:42pm<b>yve1220</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 5:22pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 3:47pm<b>getfokinrektm8</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 2:06pm<b>GoldFishPony</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 10:55am<b>bitchs_and_hoes</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 8:33am<b>Epickiller</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 8:04am<b>CFB_FRS</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 7:21am<b>itta_pupu</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 7:17am<b>Ericv63</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 6:40am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 5:57pm<b>Toonice45</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 11:07pm

Fucked!<b>Xx_Slayer_xX</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 1:36am<b>shamalala</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 5:04pm<b>thebakingseal</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 3:33pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 11:58am<b>the_aspect</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 9:32am<b>gshocker20</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 6:48pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 1:03pm<b>lhuss12</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 10:42pm

thecouchisalive's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!


You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of thecouchisalive's badges

thecouchisalive's favorite FMLs

Today, I got my report card. My teacher gave me an F, and under class comments she gave me a U for unsatisfactory. So I got an F U from my teacher. FML

by Yocherrypicker / 07/28/2016 at 9:04pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I was told that the $8,500 bill for my new water well grew to $11,000 because of a fair amount of overtime. I learned that the men I hired to drill the new well at our home were spending the overtime drilling my daughter as well. FML

by loserman67 / 07/18/2016 at 8:04am / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend told me that I don't have a "grippy vagina" after he slipped out for the third time. FML

by Not true / 07/17/2016 at 10:56pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, I found out my debit card information has been compromised and that someone in San Jose, CA has completely drained my bank account. Joke's on them though. I was already broke as fuck. FML

by PseudoHappiness / 07/17/2016 at 8:16pm / United States (Missouri) / Money

Today, I walked out the back door of my place of employment and looked down to see a huge cockroach. This is quite a normal occurrence, so I thought nothing of it until I realized it was struggling to drag the corpse of one of its friends into the building. FML

by unemployed / 07/11/2016 at 3:09pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I received an envelope with my name written in beautiful writing in my mailbox. I just moved in the day before and hadn't given the address to anyone or met my neighbors yet so I was a bit surprised by it, even more surprised to find nothing but a dick pic inside. FML

by ZeldaovaPeach / 07/05/2016 at 8:44am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, the paternity test came back. It's like I suspected all along; my "son" is actually my half-brother. FML

by Anonymous / 07/01/2016 at 12:23pm / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Kids

Today, I learned that my husband and I share the same taste in men. FML

by Miss_Blaine / 06/29/2016 at 4:05pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, at my job as a sailing instructor, I had to stop kids from getting their asses sucked by a pool filter. FML

by please don't get the succ / 06/29/2016 at 2:21pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, a wasp ended up in the house. Normally, I'd just open a door to outside and run for cover, but my 3-year-old son was home, so I decided to be brave and kill it. It flew into the air vents. We're now playing wasp roulette every time we enter a room. FML

by Anonymous / 06/29/2016 at 8:24am / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, I went to let my puppy out, and I turned around to see her peeing on the carpet. After getting her outside, I saw my little sister pooping on the floor. FML

by crybaby / 06/28/2016 at 1:54pm / United States (Washington) / Animals

Today, as a dentist, I was performing simple tooth extraction when I realized that the X-ray was flipped the wrong way the whole time. I had to lie to the patient that the tooth that I accidently extracted needed to go as well. FML

by Anonymous / 06/28/2016 at 12:25am / Malaysia (Perak) / Work

Today, my dog chewed up my $120 dildo. Goodbye, sex life. FML

by Anonymous / 06/26/2016 at 8:22am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals

Today, in an attempt to spice things up a bit, my boyfriend and I discovered he takes it in the butt better than I do. FML

by anal-retentive / 06/23/2016 at 4:00pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was chaperoning for my 8-year-old sister's class in school. The bus ride was an hour long, so several people didn't make it to the bathroom in time. Unfortunately, one of them was me. FML

by lauren / 06/21/2016 at 3:06pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous