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thecouchisalive

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thecouchisalive

6Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Los Angeles, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1597
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

About thecouchisalive : I have no social life so I read FML's all day every day. Still haven't gotten one posted...

thecouchisalive's page activity

Visits<b>FairJ1025</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 12:36am<b>NoticeMeSenpai</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 3:53am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 11:17pm<b>gigawhat</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 8:43pm<b>notsocute</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 12:20am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 6:51pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 5:28pm<b>zachhansen09</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 2:40pm<b>thebakingseal</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 9:33am<b>Wane8822</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 7:55am<b>Kielnmsoftly</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 6:34am<b>iwilldabeast</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 8:36pm<b>polishguy05</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 6:40pm<b>LOVE_2_LUVU</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 4:06pm<b>BWong17</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 3:38pm<b>ironfey</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 1:21pm<b>ZoeeeGuyss</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 1:14pm<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 11:23am

Fucked!<b>thebakingseal</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 3:33pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 11:58am<b>the_aspect</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 9:32am<b>gshocker20</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 6:48pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 1:03pm<b>lhuss12</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 10:42pm

thecouchisalive's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of thecouchisalive's badges

thecouchisalive's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband let my 8-year-old twins play with handcuffs. I thought my husband was pretending he had lost the key but after 4 hours, he walked in with his head down and said, "I've made a terrible mistake honey." FML

#21429657
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24722) - you deserved it (2052)

On 06/21/2015 at 5:37pm - kids - by hfs palm - United States

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob and she surprised me by deciding to swallow. Or so I thought. When she came up to kiss me, she spat my man-milk into my mouth and almost pissed herself laughing when I freaked out and nearly threw up. FML

#21428553
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27899) - you deserved it (11382)

On 06/19/2015 at 12:17pm - intimacy - by shmarf (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, as I finished my piano recital and took a bow, I farted into the microphone. FML

#21428226
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29411) - you deserved it (3685)

On 06/18/2015 at 6:53pm - work - by fartypants - United States (Florida)

Today, a customer yelled, "I'll bash your fuckin' face in, cunt" at me at 9:30am because we don't serve the lunch menu at breakfast time. Yes, the 15-year-old girl in high school is responsible for McDonald's entire menu. FML

#21424396
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28478) - you deserved it (1739)

On 06/11/2015 at 9:44am - work - by McFuckYouTooCunt (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, the 4-year-old I was babysitting came up to me all happy, saying she went to the bathroom like a "big girl". Knowing she was just potty trained, I asked if she'd remembered to flush. Looking at me confused, she said, "But it's in my room." FML

#21424205
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25627) - you deserved it (1831)

On 06/10/2015 at 11:04pm - kids - by AdoKitty (woman) - United States (California)

Today, our mouse problem finally started to go away. Now we have a snake problem. FML

#21423927
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22658) - you deserved it (1794)

On 06/10/2015 at 1:55pm - misc - by Eisenhorn (man) - United States

Today, I made a nursing home resident laugh so hard that he had a heart attack. FML

#21420106
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30432) - you deserved it (2781)

On 06/03/2015 at 6:15am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my 14 years old brother and 9 years old sister were fighting. My brother said "You suck!" to my sister, and she replied with "You swallow!" FML

Today, I found out my mom put breast milk in my cereal until I was 7 years old. FML

#21413959
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30792) - you deserved it (2695)

On 05/22/2015 at 11:17am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I saw a real, erect penis for the first time. My brother's, while he was jerking off. He doesn't know I saw, because he was holding a pair of panties over his face with his other hand. I'm trying like hell to act like I'm not mentally scarred. FML

#21411971
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32199) - you deserved it (2970)

On 05/18/2015 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, my 14-year-old daughter told me she's pregnant and plans on dropping out of school to live a life on the road with her boyfriend. FML

#21410693
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39596) - you deserved it (6457)

On 05/15/2015 at 8:50pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to pick my brother up from work because he broke down crying. I arrived to find that apparently, you can get so stoned that serving a pregnant woman at a fast food joint moves you to tears over the miracle of life. FML

#21409953
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30166) - you deserved it (2213)

On 05/14/2015 at 10:23am - misc - by sistertaxi - Australia

Today, my 6-year-old daughter barged into the bathroom while I was peeing, inspected the toilet and said, "You're well hydrated, good job." FML

#21405462
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29328) - you deserved it (3705)

On 05/06/2015 at 1:22am - kids - by seethroughpee - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had to play the hot and cold game with my boyfriend until he found my clitoris. FML

#21405064
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34357) - you deserved it (4506)

On 05/05/2015 at 11:13am - intimacy - by baby_trex_arms - United States (California)

Today, in the middle of the supermarket, my 7 year old son asked me what a cocksucker is and why his mum always calls me that. FML

#21402984
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27800) - you deserved it (3102)

On 05/01/2015 at 4:41pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)



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