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thecouchisalive

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thecouchisalive

6Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Los Angeles, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1733
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

About thecouchisalive : I have no social life so I read FML's all day every day. Still haven't gotten one posted...

thecouchisalive's page activity

Visits<b>darthgagemo</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 9:24pm<b>FairJ1025</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 12:36am<b>NoticeMeSenpai</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 3:53am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 11:17pm<b>gigawhat</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 8:43pm<b>notsocute</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 12:20am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 6:51pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 5:28pm<b>zachhansen09</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 2:40pm<b>thebakingseal</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 9:33am<b>Wane8822</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 7:55am<b>Kielnmsoftly</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 6:34am<b>iwilldabeast</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 8:36pm<b>polishguy05</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 6:40pm<b>LOVE_2_LUVU</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 4:06pm<b>BWong17</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 3:38pm<b>ironfey</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 1:21pm<b>ZoeeeGuyss</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 1:14pm

Fucked!<b>thebakingseal</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 3:33pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 11:58am<b>the_aspect</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 9:32am<b>gshocker20</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 6:48pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 1:03pm<b>lhuss12</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 10:42pm

thecouchisalive's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of thecouchisalive's badges

thecouchisalive's favorite FMLs

Today, while working security at my job, for the second time, a man with Down's Syndrome entered the store, went to one of the demo computers, opened YouTube, pulled up a video of oiled women wrestling and jerked off. There is no protocol in the handbook for how to deal with this scenario. FML

Today, a week after my miscarriage, my little sister thought it appropriate to wrap her belt around her neck and scream, "Hey look, it's your baby!" FML

#21438976
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38939) - you deserved it (2156)

On 07/09/2015 at 10:38am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I had to profusely apologize to a woman after my six year old son decided to crawl between her legs at the supermarket, then look up her skirt and loudly ask why she didn't have any panties on. FML

#21435950
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26407) - you deserved it (3243)

On 07/03/2015 at 4:51pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my husband let my 8-year-old twins play with handcuffs. I thought my husband was pretending he had lost the key but after 4 hours, he walked in with his head down and said, "I've made a terrible mistake honey." FML

#21429657
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25208) - you deserved it (2068)

On 06/21/2015 at 5:37pm - kids - by hfs palm - United States

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob and she surprised me by deciding to swallow. Or so I thought. When she came up to kiss me, she spat my man-milk into my mouth and almost pissed herself laughing when I freaked out and nearly threw up. FML

#21428553
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29758) - you deserved it (12275)

On 06/19/2015 at 12:17pm - intimacy - by shmarf (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, as I finished my piano recital and took a bow, I farted into the microphone. FML

#21428226
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29698) - you deserved it (3697)

On 06/18/2015 at 6:53pm - work - by fartypants - United States (Florida)

Today, a customer yelled, "I'll bash your fuckin' face in, cunt" at me at 9:30am because we don't serve the lunch menu at breakfast time. Yes, the 15-year-old girl in high school is responsible for McDonald's entire menu. FML

#21424396
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28557) - you deserved it (1739)

On 06/11/2015 at 9:44am - work - by McFuckYouTooCunt (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, the 4-year-old I was babysitting came up to me all happy, saying she went to the bathroom like a "big girl". Knowing she was just potty trained, I asked if she'd remembered to flush. Looking at me confused, she said, "But it's in my room." FML

#21424205
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25716) - you deserved it (1832)

On 06/10/2015 at 11:04pm - kids - by AdoKitty (woman) - United States (California)

Today, our mouse problem finally started to go away. Now we have a snake problem. FML

#21423927
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22701) - you deserved it (1796)

On 06/10/2015 at 1:55pm - misc - by Eisenhorn (man) - United States

Today, I made a nursing home resident laugh so hard that he had a heart attack. FML

#21420106
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30516) - you deserved it (2783)

On 06/03/2015 at 6:15am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my 14 year old brother and 9 year old sister were fighting. My brother said "You suck!" to my sister, and she replied with "You swallow!" FML

Today, I found out my mom put breast milk in my cereal until I was 7 years old. FML

#21413959
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30820) - you deserved it (2698)

On 05/22/2015 at 11:17am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I saw a real, erect penis for the first time. My brother's, while he was jerking off. He doesn't know I saw, because he was holding a pair of panties over his face with his other hand. I'm trying like hell to act like I'm not mentally scarred. FML

#21411971
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32376) - you deserved it (2981)

On 05/18/2015 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, my 14-year-old daughter told me she's pregnant and plans on dropping out of school to live a life on the road with her boyfriend. FML

#21410693
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39662) - you deserved it (6463)

On 05/15/2015 at 8:50pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to pick my brother up from work because he broke down crying. I arrived to find that apparently, you can get so stoned that serving a pregnant woman at a fast food joint moves you to tears over the miracle of life. FML

#21409953
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30180) - you deserved it (2213)

On 05/14/2015 at 10:23am - misc - by sistertaxi - Australia



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