Search for a member

Offline (9 hours ago)



  • Town/Country : Los Angeles, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3420
  • Number of comments : 26
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About thecouchisalive : I have no social life so I read FML's all day every day. Still haven't gotten one posted...

thecouchisalive's page activity

Visits<b>Xx_Slayer_xX</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 7:35pm<b>junko</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 11:12pm<b>lovegrn18</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 1:34pm<b>shamalala</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 11:32am<b>SaintGoobers</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 10:42pm<b>yve1220</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 5:22pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 3:47pm<b>getfokinrektm8</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 2:06pm<b>GoldFishPony</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 10:55am<b>bitchs_and_hoes</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 8:33am<b>Epickiller</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 8:04am<b>CFB_FRS</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 7:21am<b>itta_pupu</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 7:17am<b>Ericv63</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 6:40am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 5:57pm<b>Toonice45</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 11:07pm<b>ToxicPlant</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 10:21pm<b>Greatsoulme</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 4:06am

Fucked!<b>Xx_Slayer_xX</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 1:36am<b>shamalala</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 5:04pm<b>thebakingseal</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 3:33pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 11:58am<b>the_aspect</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 9:32am<b>gshocker20</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 6:48pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 1:03pm<b>lhuss12</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 10:42pm

thecouchisalive's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!


You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of thecouchisalive's badges

thecouchisalive's favorite FMLs

Today, in an attempt to spice things up a bit, my boyfriend and I discovered he takes it in the butt better than I do. FML

by anal-retentive / 06/23/2016 at 4:00pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was chaperoning for my 8-year-old sister's class in school. The bus ride was an hour long, so several people didn't make it to the bathroom in time. Unfortunately, one of them was me. FML

by lauren / 06/21/2016 at 3:06pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, my work directory was updated to reflect my recent promotion. Due to lack of space, they abbreviated the title. I'm now listed as "Sr Anal". FML

by Muchacha22 / 06/20/2016 at 1:25pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I returned home from college. I found out that my dad ran over my cat months ago and tried to cover it up by having her stuffed. I found it "her" on my bed when I got home. They think that it's sweet that they stuffed the cat they killed. FML

by sadblufly / 06/18/2016 at 11:19pm / United States (Kentucky) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my little sister decided to move one of the mouse traps I set for our current mouse problem onto my desk chair. Apparently when a mouse is caught in a mousetrap it's cruel, but when it snaps on my balls, that's hilarious. FML

by Ow / 06/18/2016 at 8:51pm / United Kingdom (Kent) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend and I found out that if I'm tickled it causes me to have a panic attack until I cry. FML

by RIP / 06/18/2016 at 7:17pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend took me to get the abortion that we both agreed on. He was being so supportive through the whole thing. When it was all over I thanked him for coming. He replied, "Well that's what got us here in the first place!" He's still mad he can't tell anyone his joke. FML

by thatgirl / 06/18/2016 at 5:19pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I went to my father's house to get my dog, since I had left it with him while I was on a business trip. When I got there, my dad said the dog pooped on the floor a few days ago, and so he took him to the pound. FML

by Anonymous / 06/10/2016 at 5:29pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Animals

Today, I took my girlfriend to her ex boyfriend's apartment for her to exchange his spare car keys for some of her grandmothers items. I waited outside in the parking lot for an hour, with no idea which door was his. She came out no longer a virgin. FML

by Joey / 06/04/2016 at 2:52pm / United States (Armed Forces Europe, Middle East) / Love

Today, my husband was being obnoxious, so I jokingly sprayed him with the dish hose. The floor got wet, and he slipped and busted his knees. Our daughter rushed over to him to see if he was okay, then slipped and busted her head on the floor. FML

by Anonymous / 05/27/2016 at 3:09pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I found out my husband has been catfishing my sixteen year-old brother for over a year. FML

by Anon / 05/23/2016 at 6:49am / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, I was called a bitch and "freaky as hell" because I don't like watermelon. I'm sorry, but just because I'm black doesn't mean I like watermelon. FML

by No thanks / 05/19/2016 at 8:06pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a mini heart attack as my dad stopped in the middle of the street and said, "I wonder what'd happen if I just dropped my pants right now and started jerking it in front of all these motherfuckers." FML

by dad, please / 05/16/2016 at 1:37am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, my husband was using the microwave when we suddenly hear a huge 'POP'. The good news is we found our daughter's missing hamster. FML

by Alex White / 05/02/2016 at 12:50pm / Canada (Alberta) / Animals

Today, I turned on my ceiling fan for the first time in months. I then watched as hundreds of furry spiders were flung across the room at high speed, in a circular pattern. FML

by Oops / 05/02/2016 at 12:21am / Animals