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thecouchisalive

Offline (9 hours ago) | Search for a member

thecouchisalive

7Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Los Angeles, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2574
  • Number of comments : 26
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 20 posted

About thecouchisalive : I have no social life so I read FML's all day every day. Still haven't gotten one posted...

thecouchisalive's page activity

Visits<b>junko</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 11:12pm<b>lovegrn18</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 1:34pm<b>shamalala</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 11:32am<b>SaintGoobers</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 10:42pm<b>yve1220</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 5:22pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 3:47pm<b>getfokinrektm8</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 2:06pm<b>GoldFishPony</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 10:55am<b>bitchs_and_hoes</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 8:33am<b>Epickiller</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 8:04am<b>CFB_FRS</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 7:21am<b>itta_pupu</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 7:17am<b>Ericv63</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 6:40am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 5:57pm<b>Toonice45</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 11:07pm<b>ToxicPlant</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 10:21pm<b>Greatsoulme</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 4:06am<b>TimTheLeg</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 8:12am

Fucked!<b>shamalala</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 5:04pm<b>thebakingseal</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 3:33pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 11:58am<b>the_aspect</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 9:32am<b>gshocker20</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 6:48pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 1:03pm<b>lhuss12</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 10:42pm

thecouchisalive's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of thecouchisalive's badges

thecouchisalive's favorite FMLs

Today, my son wanted to be Spiderman. He found the biggest spider he could outside and let it bite his hand. He's staying overnight in the hospital. FML

#21522558
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19515) - you deserved it (1810)

On 02/03/2016 at 9:04pm - kids - by Spooderman (woman) - United States

Today, I accidentally walked in on my sister shaving, naked. I don't know what's worse, the fact I've now seen her nude, or that she looks ten times better than any girl I've ever slept with. FML

#21521379
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22403) - you deserved it (4940)

On 01/31/2016 at 4:33am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I'm so broke, I walked into a nursing home and pretended to be a gentleman's son just so I could get some free food "for him". FML

#21521037
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19426) - you deserved it (5794)

On 01/30/2016 at 2:45am - money - by :/ - United States (Arizona)

Today, around 12 a.m., my pet parrot said a sentence I've never heard him say before. Usually this would be exciting, but considering he said, 'I killed the bird', and that one of my two love birds mysteriously died a few days ago, it's safe to say I'm now terrified. FML

#21520327
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22848) - you deserved it (1501)

On 01/28/2016 at 3:39am - animals - by sweetie808 - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I crashed my car into a bridge, while playing a song with the line, "I crashed my car into a bridge". FML

#21518597
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19916) - you deserved it (5199)

On 01/23/2016 at 3:48pm - misc - by ugh (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out why this crazy bitch slashed the tires of my car to prevent me from going to my exam. It's because I'm supposedly the curve setter for the class and she wants to get into medical school without me fucking it up for her. FML

#21515273
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23459) - you deserved it (1633)

On 01/14/2016 at 5:21pm - misc - by notmyfault - United States (Indiana)

Today, my girlfriend actually slept with one of the celebrities on her "5 celebrities we're allowed to sleep with" list. FML

#21515102
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27268) - you deserved it (12947)

On 01/14/2016 at 7:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I almost died. My friends dragged me unconcious, hypothermic and half-drowned out of the sea. A helicopter took me to the hospital where they brought me back to life. My family's reaction? "You aren't dying so we don't have to come to the hospital." They wouldn't even bring me clothes. FML

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend of 7 years. He thrusted as fast as rabbits. I waited years for 10 seconds. FML

#21514734
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22185) - you deserved it (5760)

On 01/13/2016 at 1:30pm - intimacy - by ShouldveStayedAVirgin - United States (Texas)

Today, I finished reading a manga series on a website I go on all the time. As I read the last page I got a huge celebratory message from the website saying I was the first one to read every manga on their site. The website opened in 2011 and has over 30,000 manga. My God, I need a social life. FML

#21514123
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21471) - you deserved it (6173)

On 01/11/2016 at 9:47pm - misc - by Lesser spotted female gaming nerd (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I recently burned both my hands at work so I had to ask my husband for help changing my tampon, but he refused saying it would make him feel sick. This from the man who routinely sticks his tongue in my asshole when we have sex. FML

#21512451
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28353) - you deserved it (3302)

On 01/07/2016 at 7:00am - intimacy - by anne (woman) - Germany

Today, I discovered my dog humping my sister's five month old baby while babysitting. FML

Today, I recently gave birth to my daughter, and my husband and I both have dark hair and bushy eyebrows. We never thought it was a problem until our daughter was born with a dark, bushy unibrow. Now I'm too nervous to take pictures of her 'cause our family and friends laugh every time they see her. FML

#21511488
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19918) - you deserved it (3161)

On 01/04/2016 at 6:13pm - kids - by bushy brows - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my 5 year-old informed me she likes her "other mummy" more and wants to live with her instead. I need to have a long conversation with my husband. FML

#21511215
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26583) - you deserved it (1610)

On 01/04/2016 at 12:21am - kids - by Xandriajoy10 - Australia

Today, I got a call from my dad asking if I was a porno actress. I am. FML

#21510678
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25303) - you deserved it (22329)

On 01/02/2016 at 5:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States



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