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theclay22's FML badges
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theclay22's favorite FMLs
Today, my boyfriend forgot to pick our son up from daycare. His excuse? Fighting in a battle in World of Warcraft was far more important and he had to stay absolutely focused. Our son had to wait for two hours. FML
by poor baby / 06/12/2015 at 12:51pm / Germany / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/23/2015 at 9:16am / United States (New Jersey) / Love
Today, I helped a very large elderly man, who thanked me and tried to hand me a dollar bill. I kindly told him, "We are not allowed to accept tips from customers." His reply was, "You're going to take this fucking money," and shoved it in my pocket. I'm now being written up for it. FML
by justinmdent / 11/23/2014 at 10:48pm / United States (Missouri) / Work
by anonymous / 11/04/2014 at 1:24am / United States (California) / Love
by noxiffic / 10/31/2014 at 8:31am / Norway (Rogaland) / Animals
Today, I went to a café and got some soup. When I was done, a nice waiter came over and offered to take my mostly empty soup bowl. I quickly at the last of it, looked up smiling and said "thanks". The soup dribbled out of my mouth and onto his hand. FML
by Anonymous / 08/15/2014 at 1:06am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I attended a family gathering. My cousin's new baby was being passed around. By way of politely declining to hold it, I meant to say that I looked forward to getting to know it better once it could talk. What I blurted out instead was, "I can't wait until it resembles a human being." FML
by marcranger / 08/11/2014 at 7:40pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids
Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML
by Face fucking palm / 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by weeping_angel_ / 07/12/2014 at 10:00am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by and god shat / 07/11/2014 at 7:38pm / United States (Oregon) / Animals
by mathesonn / 05/29/2014 at 7:32pm / United States (New York) / Work
by Idk / 05/29/2014 at 2:46am / United States (Florida) / Animals
by Anonymous / 05/26/2014 at 11:53am / United States (California) / Love
Today, after a long day at work, I was starving, so I stopped by the drive-through for something to eat. When I got home and hurriedly opened the bag, all I found inside was napkins. Thanks, McDonald's. FML
by can't eat paper / 05/10/2014 at 9:34pm / United States / Work
- Today, I’m on vacation in Peru in the Amazonian forest. I woke up in the middle of the night to the… Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was… Today, I threw up when I got home because I'd been drinking with friends. My parents asked what was…