Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

thecalvin123

Offline (the 03/27/2015 at 10:07pm) | Search for a member

thecalvin123

4Liked!

thecalvin123
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 3 September 1998 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1457
  • Number of comments : 26
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About thecalvin123 : People call me arrogant and conceited, but I prefer to call it "above average self-esteem." I'm asian, just so you people know. That has nothing to do with the fact that my profile picture is a Toyota. Tennis is the only sport I'm not 100% bullshit at playing.

thecalvin123's page activity

Visits<b>RenoTheRhino</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 4:25pm<b>AHzulu</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 3:13pm<b>PlainWhiteWalls</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 3:19pm<b>curlguy</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 6:53pm<b>AndrewMoreira14</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 10:53am<b>Sneado</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 7:15pm<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 4:35pm<b>maisha111</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 1:47am<b>zw5315</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 10:36am<b>jazzybrar</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 5:55pm<b>saraitkddh</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 8:53pm<b>CFB_FRS</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 6:24am<b>SaintGoobers</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 4:28pm<b>armyant98</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 8:08am<b>One_Way</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 11:20pm<b>Setareh23</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 10:10pm<b>cyborghinge</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 8:29pm<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 7:00am

Liked!<b>AHzulu</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 8:13pm<b>saraitkddh</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 3:53am<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 9:50am<b>MeowMcMeowenson</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 11:45am

thecalvin123's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of thecalvin123's badges

thecalvin123's favorite FMLs

Today, three of my dipshit coworkers kept whining all day about Zayne Malik leaving One Direction, how devastating it is, and what it means for their future. As a pacifist, I've never had to struggle so hard to not beat the piss out of people and hurl their broken remains out a window. FML

#21381305
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29472) - you deserved it (4311)

On 03/25/2015 at 3:00pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, a girl asked me to check out her left breast, which she said she'd found a strange lump on. I'm an orthodontist. FML

#21379225
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27337) - you deserved it (2971)

On 03/22/2015 at 12:03am - health - by noway - United States (California)

Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents. My dad thought it'd be hilarious to act surprised and ask me if I'd already dumped the girlfriend I introduced him to yesterday. She slapped me and stormed out of the house before my dad could tell her it was a joke. FML

#21378402
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31471) - you deserved it (2141)

On 03/20/2015 at 1:50pm - love - by not picking up (man) - Slovenia (Skofljica)

Today, I went to the doctor, because I've been having stomach pains and nausea for weeks. He ended up gravely telling me I'm pregnant. I freaked out and panicked about what my parents would say. Then his laughter reminded me that I'm a guy. A really stupid one. FML

#21367918
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11) - you deserved it (11)

On 03/04/2015 at 10:03am - health - by actually just constipated.. and stupid - Tunisia

Today, while walking out of a store eating a candy bar, a homeless man tried to run up and steal my candy. I stuck a leg out and tripped him. The only thing I could think of to yell at him was, "Swiper no Swiping". My kids have ruined my coolness. FML

#21366982
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9) - you deserved it (9)

On 03/02/2015 at 11:57pm - misc - by Dad (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was turned down from the dream job that I was promised two years ago, once my chemo and radiation therapy was finished. His excuse? He never actually expected me to survive. FML

#21366066
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45845) - you deserved it (2107)

On 03/01/2015 at 6:36pm - work - by kysier (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, the girl I've been seeing for just over a week casually let me know that she'll slash her wrists if I ever leave her. FML

#21365201
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33805) - you deserved it (2802)

On 02/28/2015 at 11:23am - love - by great (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after I beat her once again in a trivia game. She said that I was cheating, and if I was cheating on the game, I was definitely cheating on her as well. FML

#21354669
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32374) - you deserved it (2841)

On 02/12/2015 at 11:25am - love - by Vampire Teabag - United States (Texas)

Today, the CEO of my company leaned over and said, "Hey, I've been meaning to thank you…" I thought he was going to thank me for all of my hard work, but he continued, "…for wearing that shirt today. I can totally see your boobs." FML

#21354210
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33122) - you deserved it (6076)

On 02/11/2015 at 4:51pm - work - by titsmcgee (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, a creepy old guy kept hitting on me in line at Subway. I got scared and told him to back off because my dad was waiting for me outside. He replied that he wouldn't object to a three-way. FML

#21352037
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33962) - you deserved it (2289)

On 02/08/2015 at 11:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was making out with a girl I've liked for a long time. At one point she stopped kissing me and said, "You kiss like my brother". I sat there dumbstruck as she went back to kissing me. FML

#21349028
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34395) - you deserved it (2331)

On 02/03/2015 at 1:23pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Wyoming)

Today, after the longest time, I went to the gym. I ran and ran and ran on the treadmill for an eternity, beating myself up for getting so overweight. Then I tripped and fell off, sweating and sobbing for being so useless. When I looked up, I saw I'd been on the machine for barely 2 minutes. FML

#21339526
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26871) - you deserved it (18723)

On 01/18/2015 at 11:34am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, I had lunch with my parents. I'm an Asian guy who married a Puerto Rican woman and we just had a boy. My dad looks at my son, then looks at me and says, "You ruined the bloodline." FML

Today, I signed into my online class, got bored, and took off my headphones to argue with my roommates about anal sex. At the end of the argument, I put my headphones back on to hear my professor asking if someone could call me to tell me to turn my damn mic off. FML

Today, I saw a homeless guy in the street. It really upset me how everyone's spirit of giving vanished as soon as Christmas was over, so I said fuck it and gave him about $50 worth of money. I barely made it 10 feet away, when another guy mugged him for the money I just gave. FML

#21330614
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35688) - you deserved it (2982)

On 01/04/2015 at 11:58am - money - by Anonymous (man) - Denmark (Midtjylland)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: