Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

theboringdolphin

Offline (the 08/05/2015 at 1:57am) | Search for a member

theboringdolphin

8Fucked!

theboringdolphintheboringdolphin
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 30 August 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4897
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About theboringdolphin : hi everyone(: I love people with an awesome sense of humor, I love to read & listen to music. I'm into Anime and I'm in a couple of fandoms. I'm not sure what else to say about myself but if you wanna know more feel free to leave a message!

theboringdolphin's page activity

Visits<b>dantee2005</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 11:50pm<b>hussamhasi</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 5:47pm<b>ricardof</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 4:41pm<b>Relf</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 1:07am<b>rydin10</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 11:52pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 7:40pm<b>Yazoo77</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 6:58pm<b>Fgjvshnb</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 8:06am<b>crudeandrudeguy</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 12:25am<b>ahmadmuneer</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 12:53am<b>MRITCHEZ</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 4:17am<b>marshm610</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 4:43pm<b>ausmoss123</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 2:18am<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 12:07am<b>elusiveshame</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 6:10am<b>jjumprope</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 11:42am<b>SimplyCyrax</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 11:19pm<b>Nagi</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 7:02pm

Fucked!<b>marshm610</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 10:43pm<b>elusiveshame</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 12:20am<b>jjumprope</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 5:42pm<b>eliiteXXXninja</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 11:55pm<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 7:39pm<b>1Nsan3</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 7:16am<b>S232Flash</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 11:05am

theboringdolphin's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of theboringdolphin's badges

theboringdolphin's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked in on my girlfriend cheating on me. The guy turned around and said, "Sorry, I borrowed your condoms." FML

#21283288
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48197) - you deserved it (3709)

On 10/22/2014 at 6:38pm - intimacy - by BadLuckLad (man) - United Kingdom (Portsmouth)

Today, I lost my laptop, but I have my old childhood computer to use. It's password-protected, and the hint to the password is "meaner than Hera." I haven't been into Greek mythology since I was a kid, and if anything, this computer has just shown me how dumb I've gotten over the years. FML

#21282844
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32146) - you deserved it (6022)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by HeckIfIKnow (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I volunteered to tutor a 17-year-old girl in science. I had to explain in detail of what the real Big Bang theory was, as she only knew about the show. Later, I heard I was reported by her because apparently, "I was trying to convert her to Scientology." I now know why she needed a tutor. FML

Today, I climbed onto my boyfriend's lap and sexily told him "It's getting hot in here," and started unbuttoning my shirt. He said "Oh," pushed me off him, and went to turn the ceiling fan on. FML

#21279866
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44966) - you deserved it (6607)

On 10/17/2014 at 2:29pm - intimacy - by gettinghotinhere - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend gave his penis a high five for not getting me pregnant. He does this every time I get my period. Every. Single. Time. FML

#21279390
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41692) - you deserved it (6862)

On 10/16/2014 at 9:27pm - love - by highfive - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, coming home, I opened up my door to find my drunk boyfriend trying to teach our three baby parakeets to perch on his erect penis. FML

#21278553
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38570) - you deserved it (4217)

On 10/15/2014 at 7:36pm - misc - by facepalm (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was leading a tour of my university and saw a girl in ripped jeans and combat boots smoking a cigarette. I told her that she shouldn't be representing the school in such a manner. She shot back: "I'm a Presidential Scholar. Suck my dick, bitch." FML

#21278356
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27897) - you deserved it (56137)

On 10/15/2014 at 1:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, while waiting for a plane, a man in a wheelchair was struggling to get to baggage, so I helped him. I did so without realising that I passed through the "No Entry" gate. What did I forget? My phone, my ID, and my boarding pass. What do you need to get back to the plane? All of those. FML

Today, I witnessed some greasy twat trying to chat a girl up by negging her, which is basically insulting a woman to lower her self-esteem so she's more likely to put out. "Goddamn negger", I muttered. "The fuck did you just say?!" yelled a black guy standing beside me. FML

#21275066
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34406) - you deserved it (16113)

On 10/10/2014 at 4:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I started at a new school. It's a pretty great school, but there's only one problem: Everybody thinks I'm a teacher. I'm only a freshman. FML

#21273859
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36450) - you deserved it (3265)

On 10/08/2014 at 10:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my son was smart enough to hack the school's computers to change his midterm, but isn't smart enough to actually keep his grades up. FML

#21273806
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37897) - you deserved it (4164)

On 10/08/2014 at 9:12pm - kids - by thenegatives - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out via a voicemail from my boss that my hours are being cut. He said, "They said I can't fire you, so you'll only be getting 20 hours a week. Starting today." Who'd they give my other 20 hours to? The one person that calls off sick almost daily and is never on time. FML

#21273773
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33628) - you deserved it (2713)

On 10/08/2014 at 8:30pm - work - by xRyu (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my taxi driver kept falling asleep and swerving off the road, so I asked him if he was okay. He stopped and burst out sobbing about the long hours he had to do after his divorce and his wife taking all he had. Long story short, I ended up driving him home and getting a taxi from his place. FML

#21273346
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41394) - you deserved it (3538)

On 10/08/2014 at 5:01am - misc - by rockytrolley - Cyprus

Today, my co-worker spent the afternoon taking online personality quizzes and messaging everyone the results. She was particularly proud of one which told her she was a hard-working overachiever. My boss walked by just as the message for that one popped up and I got in trouble for slacking off. FML

#21273209
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30885) - you deserved it (2777)

On 10/07/2014 at 11:15pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while on vacation, my parents called to inform me that my best friend had died in a car accident. Why? To trick me into tearfully confessing my love for him. It worked. FML

#21272324
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52625) - you deserved it (4692)

On 10/06/2014 at 9:14pm - love - by whywouldyoudothat - United States (Arizona)



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: